Thunder and Lightning
by CPT-America
Summary: Izzy has always had emotion issues that get on her nerves constantly, but when she's told she can use them for good... she couldn't be happier. A story about how an emotionally unstable girl joins the Avengers and has to try and cope with everything she's feeling while helping stop Loki from taking over Earth
1. Chapter 1 - Introduction to Izzy

**DISCLAIMER: obviously, I do not own The Avengers, and any characters from it, or Starbucks, Those mentioned by name in this chapter are either people that I know and I have asked their permission to use their names in this, or they are OC's**

I walked, well practically skipped, out of college doors, chattering happily with my friends, laughing over what had recently happened in our Biology lesson.

I was in the middle of laughing at Hanne's impression of our student teacher, when I felt a hard tap on my shoulder.

Part way through this laugh, I swivelled around on my gripless, £1.50 plimsolls from Primark, to face the large and towering figure of Reece, causing a smile to freeze on my face, and a repulsed shudder to go down my spine.

"What?," I sighed, I have been trying to not think about this asshole for the most of today, and now here he is, right in front of me.

"If you have something to say, you should say it to my face instead of being childish Izzy."

I breathed in deeply, trying not to get angry at him, but one look at the darkening sky made me realise that that was a lost cause. All I wanted to do was punch something, anything, but someone as weak as me doesn't get many opportunities to do that.

Reece was still stood in front of me, and one look behind me proved that my friends had stayed to make sure that nothing happened to me.

"Listen," I sighed in a tone dripping with loathe, "I don't know why the hell you think you're so special, because, as it's obvious to everyone, you're not, at fucking all, so you need to get over yourself", I took a step forward, invading his personal space and got right into his face, raising my voice further, "You _were _my friend, but then you decided to insult me to be cool for your other friends? Yeah, not cool… _at all_. But hey, then you apologised, and after having a few days to cool down about the situation, I accepted, stupid me. Because predictably, you turned into the asshole you _really _are. All I fucking did was text you, saying that I accepted your apology, and then you decide that it's the world's best idea to fucking blow up in my face, because I'm being '_pathetic_' for being upset!? _Yeah, _pretty sure the pathetic one is _you _seeing though you can't even been seen as cool to your 'friends' without being mean to one of the few people that actually _liked _you," I paused to look at him, and I noticed just how close I was to him, as I continually made steps forward during this speech, forcing him backwards, and my finger prodded into his chest sharply.

I took a small step backward and grumbled to myself, and pointed away from me, "Just leave now, I don't want any more assholes in my life anymore, so don't bother talking to me, you'll regret it", and the last thing I saw, before he scurried away, was Reece's eyes as round as saucers.

Now that he was gone, I noticed that my anger had gotten even more out of control than I thought – the sky was pitch black with thunder clouds, and the wind attacked everything, and everyone, violently.

My friends stood silently throughout me yelling at Reece, but when the sky broke open with a shock of thunder that seems to hover in the air around us, they all grabbed onto my jacket sleeves and dragged me into the safety of our nearby Starbucks.

Once inside, I shook raindrops from my hair, and placed my trilby hat back onto my head, while everyone peeled off their soaked jackets.

We all walked towards the couches, but I couldn't help but stop when my eyes were drawn to a dark-skinned man, with an eye patch over one eye, just staring at me.

Maybe if I was in a better mood I would have easily been able to ignore him, but anger still coarsed through my body, so I rolled my eyes at being stared at by some creep just because I look a little different (short hair, with purple tinted fringe tips tends to get you a lot of attention).

But all I did was plonk myself down onto the couch next to Visa, and put in my head phones, before turning on some 3OH!3 to try and calm myself down.


	2. Chapter 2 - Welcome to SHIELD

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own The Avengers and any characters from it. I only own my OC's  
Also, for those of you who are wondering why Izzy Hart has so many flaws, it is because I really didn't want to just write about a 'perfect' person, so I based her on me, so everything about emotion problems, fear of strong and/or angry men etc, is me.**

Nick Fury:  
I sat watching her silently, waiting until her emotions were stable once again.

_Izzy Hart,_

_18,_

_DANGER: very unstable, do not make angry._

Yes, this is definitely the right girl – I saw how the sky changed in her anger.

I feel quite guilty for recruiting someone so young, but Loki has made me very desperate, and I need Miss Hart's persuasive speech to keep the population calm.

Her powers and emotional instability makes her a threat in herself, but I am so desperate that I am willing to risk it for the persuasive atmosphere she emits.

She is similar in a way to Dr. Banner, and we are going to be able to control the dangerous side of him, so we'll just have to take the same precautions with Miss Hart.

My phone buzzes and I look down to see that Agent Coulson has verified that Dr. Banner has been recruited.

I took one last sip of my coffee, and wait until Miss Hart leaves, which – judging by how much the sky has lightened – will be soon.

Izzy Hart:

A mixture of music and my friends soon perked me up, and the sun practically screamed happiness in the sky.

We stood up, ready to set off to our homes, when I heard, "Miss Hart," being called from the other side of Starbucks.

"You go ahead guys, I'll catch up," I said, expecting it to be one of the lecturers from college.

But when I turned around, all I saw was that creepy guy that was staring at me before.

He held out his hand, "Nick Fury," he introduced himself while I shook his hand, "Director of S.H.I.E.L.D."

"S.H.I.E.L.D?" I asked, as I've never heard of the name before.

"Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division," he clarified.

"Sorry, that means nothing to me," I said, removing my hand from his.

Nick Fury indicated to a table next to us, so I sat down – perching on the edge of the seat so I could make a quick getaway if the time came for me to need to do so.

"What does S.H.I.E.L.D have to do with me then?"

"Miss Hart, I know the remarkable power you have, in fact, I just saw it in action outside. Your emotions are connected to the weather, and you have the ability to choose the correct words that allow you to decide what people do or feel… to an extent. And I am here, offering you a chance to use them for good."

I snorted to myself by accident, and covered my mouth with my hand guiltily, "sorry, but I'm just some kid with emotion issues, there's no way I could control them enough to something over than… creating a thunderstorm. And even though I tend to be able to word things well, that doesn't exactly make me special, it just shows I'm smart enough to choice the right words to say."

"Miss, at S.H.I.E.L.D we would be able to help. And we need you, the world needs you," he said while sliding over a brown folder.

Gingerly, I opened it up and stared at a picture of a cube that looked like it was made of glowing, blue glass.

"That is the Tessaract, and energy source we used to have in our possession, but it was taken from S.H.I.E.L.D by a man named Loki, who isn't… from around here. And with it in his hands, the world is in danger of being enslaved by him."

I held up my hand, feeling like a kid in a class, "I'm sorry to interrupt you Mr. Fury, but I don't see how I like to this… unrealistic occurrence."

Nodding as if he understood, he said, "Loki is spending his time terrorising others around the globe, causing a chaos we are finding incredibly difficult to control, so we need people, like you, to try and influence the population to stay calm while we try and stop Loki."

He paused, allowing me to think over this information, and even though it would seem very unrealistic and unbelievable to someone else, they haven't woken up from nightmares to find their bedroom flooded – the world definitely isn't as simple as it seems.

I nodded to myself, "Okay, it seems like you are telling me the truth, but if I agree to help, what will happen from this point?"

"I would take you to the home base, where you would meet the other people who have been recruited, until further notice on what Loki is doing. We are planning to help you control your emotion-linked powers so that you may be able to do more help than just calm people down, like a… superhero you might say"

"Other people? How many of us are there?" I said. Maybe I should have focused on the training or whatever they'll be giving me to help me control my emotions, but I find the fact that I will be meeting other people, who may or may not be similar to me, much more important.

"A handful, don't worry, I have a debriefing packet waiting for you so you can learn all you need to about them"

"Okay… so how long is this going to take?"

"We don't know yet."

"Well. You're going to have to talk to my parents, see if you can get them to let me help you, because they might not let me go…"

Fury looked at me with a wide eye when I mentioned my parents, "Well I'm not going to just abandon my family without them knowing where I am Mr Fury"

Slowly he nodded – he does that a lot I noted -, "Sorry, of course. I shall walk you home, and I will talk to them there."

"Okay, but they are not always home when I get in, so you may have to wait a while for them to arrive."

He nodded, and we walked the rest of the way home in silence.

Nick Fury:

None of the other recruitments seemed to take as long as this one had took, but this happens when you try and recruit a college student.

When we arrived at Miss Hart's home, a large white van and a silver car filled the driveway, so luckily both of her parents were home, as it felt like a lot of time was being lost, and I really didn't want that.

"Mum, Dad, I need you to meet someone, his name is Director Nick Fury."

She led me to the front room were her parents were, and just looked at me.

It took a moment but I realised this meant I should introduce myself and explain why I am here – and so I did.

It was a long, emotional conversation, and I was still unable to convince her parents that her age does not matter in such a world-crucial event that Loki was creating.

First, I had to figure out on my own that her parents had no idea of the power that Miss Hart has, which was a very frustrating moment. However, luckily for me Miss Hart also got as frustrated as me – supporting what I had been telling her parents – or else this may have taken a lot longer.

Next, I had to explain what Loki, the Tessaract and what our plan was. Which, after seeing what they're daughter could do, didn't seem to be too surprising and unbelievable for them.

Lastly, I needed to try and persuade them to allow Miss Hart to become a part of S.H.I.E.L.D … and I was failing.

"Mum, Dad," Miss Hart spoke up, taking hold of their hands, "I'm going to miss you both so much, and I know you're going to miss me, but a temporary emotion isn't something that we should risk the fate of the Earth for," she took a deep breath, and all of us were mesmerised by her persuasive atmosphere, "I finally feel like I might fit in, like I can actually do something productive in my life. And this productive thing is incredibly important, are you not proud that I am able to do something this important?"

"Of course we are, sweetheart," her mother whispered, caressing Miss Hart's cheek.

"Then let me do it Mum, please?"

Her mother nodded silently, and so did her father, and it was all settled – Miss Hart packed her essentials, said her goodbye's, and now we are travelling to the copter that is about to take us to the home base.

Miss Hart is sat reading the debriefing folder silently.

Izzy Hart:

I had a pile of files on my knee, inside would be people, people who are like me – needed for saving the world from Loki.

Sighing to myself, I looked at the first sheet:

_Steve Rogers (Also known as Captain America)_

_A Man enhanced to the peak of a human's ability using an experimental serum created by Dr. Erskine. This was so that he could aid the United States war effort in World War 2. He was later preserved in ice, until now, and therefore is still in his twenties._

I looked at his photo, and saw a large, muscled man, with cute, boyish, blonde hair, face, and blue eyes.

Well, this will be interesting, I thought to myself. At the same time that my emotions became unbalanced a couple of years ago, I started to develop a fear for angry and strong men. Which you can't exactly blame me for, I'm so weak that I couldn't protect myself from someone like Steve… I think it's best if I try and avoid him.

_Dr. Bruce Banner (Also known as the Hulk)_

_A scientist who tried to recreate the serum, that was used on Steve Rogers, by using gamma radiation. The exposure to this gamma radiation that Dr. Bruce Banner went through gave him the ability to transform into a large monster when agitated or angry._

Great, another person I'm going to have to avoid. I looked at his photo also, but he looked nothing like Steve. He didn't have much muscle and had slightly curly/ wavy dark hair. He really suited the stereotype of scientists. I'm still going to have to avoid him though, turning into a giant, strong monster when angry? Definitely bad for my fear.

_Tony Stark (Also known as Iron Man)_

_A genius billionaire - who earned his fortune in creating weapons for the army. He is known as Iron Man because of the mechanical suit that he invented._

I looked at his photo too, and if I was to be honest, he looked like one of those men who are just full of themselves. But I guess that may be better than being scared shitless around strong men.

_Natasha Romanoff (Also known as the Black Widow)_

_A highly trained spy, one of two members of an avenging group. (The other being Clint Barton)_

Well, she was beautiful - one of those people that I would never be able to compare to. She has short, sexy, red hair and wears a leather suit… yes a quirky girl like me is never going to be able to compare to someone as sexy as her.

_Clint Barton (Also known as Hawkeye)_

_A master archer who is an agent at S.H.I.E.L.D_

Another strong male, but if another woman is able to work closely with him, I doubt he'd ever hurt me… so I don't think I'll ever feel the need to avoid him.

Well, now I have a mental list of who to avoid – Steve Rogers, Dr. Bruce Banner, and maybe Tony Stark, and one of those who I don't have to avoid – Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff.

Once finished reading the files, all that was left for me to do was to look out of the car window until we arrived to board the copter.


	3. Chapter 3 - Meet Steve Rogers

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Avengers or any characters from it, I only own my OC Izzy Hart**

When we got to the area where we were going to board the copter, there was another car, similar to ours, waiting on the tarmac.

"Ah, good, Rogers has arrived, now we can travel straight away", Nick Fury said to himself while getting out the car.

I followed and tugged on his coat sleeve, "Steve Rogers?" I squeaked, feeling the blood drain from my face.

"Come with me and I'll introduce you," he beckoned as he strode towards the car – oblivious to how I'm feeling.

The temperature drops incredibly in my fear, and Nick feels it even though he's wearing a huge thick coat.

"It's a bit chilly out here," Steve called while getting out of his car. As soon as he got out, even more blood drained from my face, and I had to fight to stay conscious.

"Miss Hart…?" Fury called warily, marching over to where I am frozen still to the spot I'm stood on, "Are you okay?"

All I could do was stare at Steve, shaking incredible amounts, partly from the cold, partly from fear.

And then he also started to walk towards me, wondering what is going on, while it was hard enough for me to try not and pass out from fear when he was metres away.

"Ma'am, are you alright?" he asked, looking at me with what seem to be genuine worry.

I just stood for a while, and they must have felt like they had waited in silence for long enough, because all of a sudden I found myself being picked up by Rogers.

He may have been trying to be kind - carrying me to somewhere for me to sit, in silent agreement with Nick, just so that I don't pass out. But unluckily for him, I also have a fear of being picked up, the lack of control of my body never fails to make me panic, so I screeched for him to put me down, and when he slowly did, as soon as my feet touched the ground – I passed out.

I opened my eyes, and looked up to see a crowd of faces staring at me – a random man, Nick Fury, and Steve Rogers.

They moved away as I sat up on the cold ground, and I just sat blinking at them for a while, before getting myself up.

"Are you okay, Miss Hart?" Nick asked, standing formally in front of me, before indicating that we should follow him to board the copter.

I walked after him, along with the man and Steve, "Erm… I suppose so Mr. Fury," I whispered, trying to not look at Steve – who was walking along side me, "I, err… just have a fear of…," I gulped, my eyes flicking towards him momentarily, "of… strong and-slash-or angry me, and of being picked up", I finished, blushing red with embarrassment for how pathetic I must sound, and sat down on one of the benches on the inside of the copter.

They all stood in front of me, "Are you saying that you were afraid of me, ma'am?" Steve spoke up after a while, looking at me intensely.

"Are," I replied, "I _am_ afraid of you", and I just stared at my feet, twiddling my thumbs.

"There is no way I would hurt a female, Miss Hart… if I may call you that?" I nodded, and he reached towards me to touch me on the arm in a comforting way, or something, but when I flinched away he quickly rested it back by his side.

"Are you a strong man?" I asked, risking a look at him.

"Well, yes – "

"Then you could easily hurt me"

Sighing, he sat down next to me.

"Do you really think that's a good idea Cap?" the man asked, and when I looked at him, he introduced himself as 'Agent Phil Coulson'.

"I'm not allowing you to keep being afraid of me, Miss Hart, I don't want you to feel that way," he said, looking at me with his deep blue eyes, and I felt a shiver go through me when they met mine, but this time it wasn't just with fear. "I would definitely never hurt a women intentionally, men who do that are disgusting excuses for people, and I would hate to be one of them myself, I protect women, not hurt them."

He risked trying to touch me again, and even though I flinched away again, he still placed his hand on top of mine, and I shivered once again.

"Promise?" I croaked, still looking into his eyes, and feeling like a child as soon as I said it.

But he just smiled at me, gave my hand a little squeeze and said, "Promise."

And as soon as he smiled at me I knew… knew how the only danger of being around him wasn't getting hurt physically, it was emotionally, because there was a huge chance that I would fall for him…


	4. Chapter 4 - Promises

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Avengers or the characters from it, I only own my OC Izzy Hart**

The rest of the copter ride was spent with me giving Steve shy looks, like a school-girl, and listening to music, while he was either looking at me with a small smile, or looking at his own debriefing file.

"Miss Hart," he called after finishing, and I looked at him while taking out my headphones/

"You don't have to call me that if you don't want to, it sounds really formal…" I mumbled, "I prefer being called Izzy."

"Izzy," he smiled a gorgeous, boyish smile.

Gorgeous!? Keep a hold of yourself, I told myself, One minute you're afraid, another you're crushing over him. Stop being so pathetic, he won't even be interested anyway.

"When the temperature dropped before…" he starts/

"That was because of me, yes"

"Because you were scared?"

I blushed, I really made a tit of myself then… looking at my shoes, I just nodded in embarrassment.

"What's wrong?" he asked, and when I looked up at him, his eyebrows were knitted together in the most adorable… in confusion.

"My fear of men…" I started, "It's quite embarrassing."

"Well I understand why someone would be scared of them if they are unable to protect themselves, but shouldn't you be able to protect yourself using your connection to the weather?"

"No, sadly", I said, giving him a half smile, "Most I do is create a thunder storm if I'm angry, not going to do much… But Mr. Fury said that S.H.I.E.L.D. might be able to help train me so that I can control them," I shrugged.

"Well I could always protect you," Steve said with that… smile on his face.

"I'd like that very much," I blushed, and the thing I was starting to fear was… I really might.

We sat in silence for a while, when Agent Coulson poked his head through the door that connected the section Steve and I were in, and the piloting area, "Excuse me, Miss Hart?" he called.

I blinked a few times in his direction, "Yes?"

"The pilot says he'd really appreciate it if you kept the sky clear and sunny please, it's perfect flying environment."

"Oh…," I blushed to myself, even though he should be the one who is embarrassed as he obviously hadn't read the information on me well enough, "Err, actually, I can't decide the weather, it's connected to my emotions, so if I'm not happy, it's not going to stay like that… sir."

Coulson just looked at Steve, "Hear that Cap? You have to keep her happy," he said, before walking back to the pilot's area and shutting the door behind him.

"So… what are you doing to help S.H.I.E.L.D with?" I asked, "Are you just there to calm people like me, or something more?"

"I'm here to fight ma'am," I raised my eyebrows, "Izzy", he corrected with a sheepish smile, "I hope I'm the man for the job."

"I'm sure you are," I smiled.

"Oh yes, you are," Coulson added, re-entering the section, "We'll show you you're new uniform when we arrive at the home base."

"New uniform," Steve warily said, "Aren't stars and stripes a little old-fashioned?"

"With everything that's happening, and the things that are about to come to light, people might just need a little old-fashioned."

And then we were left in a serious mood, so I put back in my headphones and kept my mood up with music until we landed.

When we did land, the tarmac was filled with what looks like war planes, "This may seem peculiar to you," Fury states, but I couldn't tell if he was talking to me or Steve.

"Yes," I said at the same time as Steve said, "Well this is actually kinda familiar."

I looked up to him, and we locked eyes- making my heart flutter, "Maybe I should stay out of the way, so I don't get hurt, and you can do your think here, then."

"I'll protect you," he stated, with some sort of twinkle in his eye, and he held out his arm. I rested my hands on the crook of his elbow, feeling like I should be in Pride or Prejudice or something.

The brown leather jacket he was wearing was soft underneath my fingertips, and I couldn't help but trace patterns in it.

"Rogers, Hart," a woman I recognised to be as Natasha Romanoff walked over. She looked as sexy as she did on the photo, maybe even more so, and I just looked at her, envious of the way her leather costume gripped against her curves – she was everything a man could want.

After breaking my eyes away from her, I noticed that trailing along behind her was Dr. Banner.

Shit… I thought to myself, and I held on tighter to Steve's arm, trying to stay calm, but as soon as the temperature dropped, both Steve and I knew that that that wasn't going to happen.

He squeezed my hands with the hand of the arm I wasn't holding onto, looking down to me, "I'll protect you," he mouthed, and for some reason that was all it took for me to not be so scared anymore, so the temperature quickly went back to what it was before.

Steve gave my hands another squeeze, and me a smile, before turning his attention back to Natasha, who waited with patient – but round, shocked – eyes.

She cleared her throat, "I'm Agent Romanoff".

"And I'm Dr. Banner," he stared at me, and I squirmed uncomfortably under his gaze, "What a weird temperature drop before, but I guess we're all going to have to deal with a lot of weird weather with you on board, huh, Miss Hart?" he prompted, and when I didn't reply, he went on, "I'd love to find out how you're able to have such a connection with it, whether it's some sort of telekinetic connection, maybe with a few experiments I might even be able to recreate the connection on other people," he laughed.

I stiffened at the word, 'experiments, and all eyes turned towards me.

Nick Fury stepped forward, breaking the awkward tension, "Well, it looks like it's going to rain, Agent Romanoff," he said – which was true, I was definitely feeling a mixture of worry and a little bit of anger -, "Maybe you should take Dr. Banner inside and show him his room, we're going to fly soon anyway," and with that they walked away.

I looked up to see that Steve was looking intently at Agent Romanoff, and I internally sighed – seem you can't compete with someone like her.

And that was when the rain started – I just wanted to curl up and cry like the pathetic child I am/ probably look, "I'd like to see my room, please, sir," I said to Fury, untangling my hands from Steve's arm.

"Right this way," Coulson said, and I followed him In without looking back once.

Once alone inside my room, I put on my music – much louder than I needed-, locked my door, and lost myself to the music, while I put my clothes and the rest of the things I packed away in the draws.

Picking up my knee-high socks, I remembered how much male attention I got in college whenever I wore them. I won't be able to compare to the raw sexiness of Natasha… but I can sure as hell try, I thought.

I changed into some tight shorts, knee-high brown and black striped socks, a tight batman logo t-shirt, and my black leather jacket on. I smiled at the t-shirt, well we're 'superheroes' aren't we?

I then set on working on my hair and makeup – all while singing loudly to 3OH!3 – because that never failed to make me happy.


	5. Chapter 5 - Fear and Anger

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Avengers or any of the characters from it, I only own my OC Izzy Hart**

At one point, I thought that I could hear a faint knocking on my door, but when I took out my headphones I couldn't hear anything, so I just put them back and went back to lying on my bed, singing to songs.

Again, a little later I heard it, so I opened my door to find Agent Coulson outside, apparently he had been trying to find me everywhere on the ship once we set off flying, but when I didn't answer the knocking at my door, he went looking somewhere else.

"We need you," he said after explaining this, and he walked away without another word.

So I scurried after him, locking my door behind me, and we headed towards a room filled with computers, each has an Agent sat at it doing something I couldn't figure out at quick glance. Facing towards one computer was Steve, and as soon as I entered the room, he turned towards me, but I quickly looked away, and refused to look in his direction.

Instead I looked out of a nearby window, watching the darkening sky as my anger boiled inside me. Why was I never good enough when someone like Natasha turned up? It wasn't fair!

"Miss hart," Coulson snapped at me, and I just glared at him.

The second my eyes locked with Agent Coulson's, a large crack of thunder echoes around the ship, and he shrunk slightly away.

Nick Fury walked in at this point, "Coulson, have some respect."

The agent in front of the computer everyone seemed focused on turned around, "We have found him, Director," he spoke up, "Stuttgart, Germany, 28 Königstrasse."

An image of Loki appeared on the screen, "He's not exactly hiding."

"Captain, you're up," Nick stated, and he started to walk back out the room.

"What about me, sir?" I asked.

"There's nothing you could do there, Miss Hart."

"Nothing I could do?" I shouted, forgetting about being respectful towards him, "Then why was I called over here by Agent Coulson? _I _would have thought that is was so, oh _I don't know_, so that I could help keep people calm, making it easier for _your_ people to get to Loki!"

"Miss Hart, please do try to calm down," Fury said, and when another ripple of thunder echoed around, the ship jutted, and Fury looked at me a bit fearfully.

"Izzy," Steve said with a calm voice, and he started to reach towards me, but I flinched away still angry at him,"It'll be dangerous, I might not be able to protect you."

I looked at him, tears guiltily glistening in my eyes, my hands clutched in fists as tight as I can, and my arms shaking with fury, "Then just protect your beautiful Agent Romanoff," I whispered, and I could tell he heard as he looked at me with a shocked 'o' mouth.

A tear spilled from my eye as soon as I said it, and I turned my back to him, to see Agent Romanoff stood in the doorway.

"What's this about me?" she asked, stepping forward, "I'm pretty sure that I can protect myself, Miss Hart."

"Good for you," I snapped, before stalking past her, and starting to wander the halls.

There were many, many closed doors, that I didn't dare enter, and some large, open doorways that were filled with computers and agents tapping away, not even noticing me in the room. The most interesting thing that I found was a gym with punching bags and weights, probably so that muscled men like Steve could get even more muscled and scary.

I shook my head, Steve may be just one of those guys who is only attracted to women who just wear revealing clothes and probably have the personality of a twig, but he isn't the type of guy who would physically hurt me…

I walked back out and continued to investigate, until I found myself walking past a wall, half of which was made of glass. I looked inside, and saw a lab, and then I saw Dr. Banner.

I started to back away, but it was too late – he had seen me, and he was now calling my name and trying to get me to come inside… so I ran, and I wouldn't stop running.

My chest felt like it was about to burst in flames and I was finding it difficult to breathe, but I still ran, afraid that if I stopped Dr. Banner would be right behind me and force me into his lab – where he would torture the secret of my powers out of my body.

I recognised some hallways that I passed through, others I didn't, but no one seemed to be around wherever I went – no one to save me.

At the fork of one of the hallways, there was a large window, with frost forming on it. Well everyone will know that I'm around the ship, afraid now, I wonder if anyone will care enough to come save me.

I heard footsteps in the background, and I started to run even faster, and testing my luck, I opened one of the closed doors. It was a cupboard, dark and filled with shelves with cardboard boxes stacked, so I used these steps as if they were a ladder, and got to the top shelf, where I curled up in the corner behind a large cardboard box, hoping that Dr. Banner wouldn't enter and take me away.


	6. Chapter 6 - Loki's Surrender

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Avengers or any characters from it, I just own my OC Izzy Hart**

I don't know how long I sat in my little corner, but the fear never went.

I heard people running around outside – maybe even looking for me – but as soon as I had stopped moving, I found myself frozen with my fear, so I wasn't even able to call out to get their attention.

I was so tired, but I wouldn't even let myself close my eyes except to blink, I was too scared of Dr. Banner coming in and taking me away to his lab in my sleep.

The door opened, and I shrank further into my corner, not daring to even breathe,

"Izzy, are you in here?"

It was Steve, and even though I was still quite angry at him, my fear was much stronger.

"Steve," I croaked, hardly able to get myself to talk.

He turned on the light, and looked around for me, and when he saw me his face flooded with relief, "Oh thank God you're alright!" he exclaimed.

"Steve," I croaked again, tears spilling out of my eyes.

He stepped forward, and assessed the situation for a while. "I'm going to pick you up, okay? Don't worry, I won't drop you."

I slowly nodded, I trusted him. So he grabbed my curled up body carefully, and held it against his chest, moving away from the shelves.

"What were you thinking when you ran off like that?" he murmured, half to himself, "What was all that about Natasha?"

I just broke down into huge sobs, so he held me tight to him, making soft, calming noises to me, not pressuring me to answer."

I whispered, "He's coming for me Steve," once I had stopped crying, and I looked up to him, "he wants to experiment on me."

"I won't let him, remember, I'm going to protect you. That's even if you have some delusional idea that there is something between me and Agent Romanoff – you're the one that I'm protecting."

I clutched his checked shirt softly, just looking up to him, "why?" I mouthed, unable to even whisper anymore.

"Because you're important to me," he whispered, his eyes clouding over. I smiled at him, and rested my head on his chest, while he carried me away.

Steve Rogers:

I looked down at the small body of Izzy guiltily. I had been fighting against the nagging feeling in the back of my head saying that I was betraying Peggy by getting close to Izzy by telling myself that there was no feeling behind it.

But then she made the comment about my 'beautiful Agent Romanoff', I found out that I hated the fact that she thought that I was attracted to anyone, but her…

And then when the windows froze, I got scared for her and her safety, so I ran out the room – ignoring Director Fury – and went to find her.

On my travels I went past Dr. Banner, who asked if Izzy was okay, and then I knew why she was afraid… so I very rudely ran past him, and looked in every single room that I saw to find her.

When I did find her… my chest tightened. She looked a wreck: pale, frail, cheeks stained with tears, I could hardly look at her as I hated myself so much for not being there to save her from feeling like this.

Peggy would have wanted me to be happy, I thought to myself, bringing me back to the present.

Izzy was nothing like Peggy, she has strength inside her, but it was nothing compared to the fear and sadness that seemed to be constantly there. But she had a happiness there too, like when she danced to her music without noticing, when she laughed at something that I have said, when she is always ready to smile at me…

My eyes tightened slightly around her, she had gotten herself so scared that, even now, she couldn't get herself to move, and I realised just how much I needed to try and stop her feeling like this ever again. I just wanted her to be happy all the time.

"Steve?" she croaked, hardly even able to speak, and my chest tightened again, "Where are we going?" she asked, and she looked up to me with sad, tired eyes.

"We need to get on a plane to Germany," I stated, but all I wanted to do instead was to hold her until she was happy again.

"'We'?" she said, her eyes sparkling with a hint of happiness.

"As long as you promise me you won't let yourself get hurt."

She smiled, "I promise, Steve," and after that she yawned.

"You can go to sleep," I said, not being able to stop smiling at how cute she looked at this moment.

She nodded slightly against my chest, and I slowly walked back to Director Fury.

"I see you've found her," he boomed when I entered the room with her.

"Shhh…," I said, not wanting her to be woken up, "yes."

"Well she's going to have to wake up to board the plane, Cap," Agent Romanoff stated.

"I don't want to be irritating ma'am, but I'm going to have to insist that I carry her so that she has some sleep, it's much easier for me to look after her this way anyway."

"Very well," she stated, "but, you need to change into your uniform, so I don't know how you're going to do that while carrying her…" Director Fury said.

"Give me a moment," I said, walking away to my room, and I placed her on my bed, while I went into the bathroom and changed, before picking her up again and carrying her back.

"Okay then," Agent Romanoff said looking at us with raised eyebrows, "Follow me."

Once inside the plane, I sat down with Izzy curled up on my knee/ against my chest asleep, and I just looked down at her, stroking her hair out of her fringe, and savouring the moment.

Izzy Hart:

I opened my eyes slowly, getting used to the light.

I was in a plane, with a single room with benches around the outside, and a small section for the pilot.

Then I realised where I was – I was curled up on Steve, and once I realised this, I panicked and nearly fell onto the floor.

"Woah," he murmured, quickly grabbing me and setting me down next to him.

My face flushed with incredible heat, and I fiddled with my hair in fear that there would be hairs spiking up everywhere.

"I'm so sorry," I exclaimed, looking at him with wide eyes., "I don't even remember falling asleep on you," I said – and then I did remember, I remembered everything: running away from Dr. Banner, hiding, Steve finding me… _everything._

"Don't be sorry," he said, looking disappointed for some reason, and running his hand through his hair – God, I really wanted to do that too.

"I just keep on having to embarrass myself," I grumbled to myself, fiddling with my thumbs, "so pathetic."

He must have heard me, because he rested his hand on my arm, and looked at me with that intense look of his that always made me wonder what he was thinking.

"Please don't be embarrassed, not around me," he said, and then he added: "ma'am," to the end with a cheeky smile.

I felt my eyes crinkle up in humour, "Okay, sir."

He continued to look at me, making me feel paranoid about how I look, "What?" I said, grabbing my mirror from my short pocket, but I couldn't see anything wrong.

"Sorry," he smiled shyly, "I was just thinking about how much I love it when you smile."

"You do?" my eyebrows knitted together, "why?"

"Because I really want you to be happy."

A huge smile went across my face, "Well you really succeed at making me happy," I whispered, blushing.

"We're almost there, lovebirds," Agent Romanoff called, "prepare to parachute down."

I hadn't even noticed that it was her sitting in the pilot's seat, and both Steve and I turned red at her, 'lovebirds' comment. But I don't understand why he did…

We both put on our parachutes, and Steve opened the hatch.

"Just pull the tag when I do, okay?" he said, feeling the temperature drop – it's quite scary jumping out of a plane after all.

I nodded, concentrating on the ground.

Once we passed over a crowd of people, we were told to jump, so we did, and it was one of the most thrilling, yet scary, things I have ever done. I'm just so glad I pulled the tag at the correct time.

We landed, and took off the parachutes, and Steve ran towards the crowd.

"Is not this simpler?" I heard, "Is this not your natural state? It's the unspoken truth of humanity that you crave subjugation. The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity." And then I saw the figure talking: it was Loki.

I probably should have moved, I mean I was here to calm the crowd, but when I was so fearful myself… that was difficult. But I made myself run, and once I made it to the crowd, I slowly started to move between people, hoping that Loki won't notice the fact that I was not kneeling.

"You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel," Loki finished.

Then an elderly man kneeling beside me, "Sir," I whispered, "please kneel back down, please don't endanger your life."

But he just ignored me and shouted, "Not to men like you."

Loki turned around, "There are no men like me."

"There are always men like you."

"Please listen to me, I agree that we should all stand up against those who are like him, if we can. But please don't endanger your life, just kneel back down, and we'll stop him."

The man looked at me, and nodded. He was about to kneel back down when Loki exclaimed, "Look to your elder, people, let him be an example," and he pointed his sceptre at him, shooting.

I couldn't even help one person, I thought, feeling like a failure.

But then, I quickly stood in front of the man, at least I can help in some way if I take the shot.

All of a sudden Steve was holding out his shield, blocking the shot and saving me.

"Go," he said, and I ran, trying to get people's attention so that they'll stop running around.

"Everyone, please listen!" I yelled, but my voice just got lost amongst the commotion.

I looked over to see Steve trying to make his way over to Loki, but he was struggling against the crowd.

"Listen!" I screamed, the sky cracking with such loud thunder that everyone turned silent and turned towards me, "Everyone stay calm," I said in a much quieter voice, but it was still loud enough for everyone to hear, "We all need to stay calm, or else we're going to get hurt. So, you all need to follow me, and if you do so _calmly_ then you will all be safe and uninjured," and surprisingly, that's what they did.

Everyone still walked quickly of course, but no one was screaming, shouting, running, tripping over, etc.

I lead them a few streets away and looked around, "now everyone, I want you to stay calm and go home. Act as if nothing happened, that way no one will be able to hurt you, and let us do our work."

After I made sure that everyone was at a safe distance, I ran back, allowing myself to finally be afraid for Steve.

I skidded around the corner, to see Steve on the floor, with Loki towering over him, with his sceptre on top of his head, "kneel."

"Steve!" I screamed without thinking, and Loki turned to look at me, before slowly smiling.

Steve was able to use this opportunity to flip away, "Not today."

I stood awkwardly, while Steve and Loki fought, when all of a sudden none other than Iron Man appeared next to Steve.

Weapons appeared all over the suit's arms, "Make your move Reindeer games."

Knowing that there was not much that he could do at this point, Loki's armour disappeared, and he held his hands up in surrender.

I ran over, and all that I wanted to do was to grab Steve and not let him go, but I stopped myself and stood in front of him, watching his face light up.

"Are you alright?" he asked, looking me up and down.

I looked at him and snorted, "Who cares? I didn't do anything dangerous, you did, so are _you_ alright?"

"Yes, yes," he smiled.

Tony Stark cleared his throat noisily, "I'm here too you know."

I blinked at him for a moment, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, Mr Stark, right?"

"Call me Tony," he said while taking off his mask and holding out his hand, "Miss Hart?"

"Izzy," I corrected while shaking his hand.

"Nice to meet you," he said and I just smiled awkwardly.

I was just so happy that Steve was okay…

We waited until Agent Romanoff landed the plane, so that we could take Loki to home base.

Tony stood, intently watching Loki to make sure he didn't try to escape, while Steve walked up to me – we were behind Tony so he luckily couldn't pay attention to us.

"The sky looks nice and clear," Steve said, looking up at the bright moon, "and it's a little… warm."

I blushed – I do that a lot around him -, "I was so worried about you," I whispered, "I'm just so glad that you're alright."

I looked at him – I really didn't want to accept it, but I had feelings for him. Much stronger than I had had for anyone else in the past… I don't know what I would do if something happened to him, and I've only known him for a day.

"I'm glad you're alright too," he whispered back.

"Thank you… for rescuing me before."

He reached out, and stopped with his hand in the air, like he thought that I was still afraid of him, but after looking into my eyes and seeing no fear there, he risked reaching up to my cheek, and rested his hand there, stroking it softly with his thumb, causing me to shiver softly, "I'll always protect you."

I don't know what happened, but as soon as he touched my cheek, something changed. We stood, looking at each other, and he looked as if he needed to say something, but couldn't get himself to.

I stepped forward – towards him – and looked up to his face.

Something flashed in his eyes, but it went too quickly for me to figure out what he was feeling.

His hand was still resting on my cheek, and I placed my hand on top of it.

"Izzy…" he started to say, but he was interrupted.

"Oh, how sweet," said Loki, looking towards us, "how close you two must be."

Tony started to turn around, and in panic I stepped away from Steve, and put my hands in my pockets, acting as if nothing had happened.

He looked at us with a suspicious stare, but before he could say anything, Natasha turned up, and we all followed her on board the plane.


	7. Chapter 7 - Importance

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Avengers or any the characters from it, I only own my OC Izzy Hart. Jules Walker is my beautiful girlfriend for all of you who care. Also, yes I did say that Izzy 'recycled' the letter s instead of stuttered, that's because stuttering is a medical condition and recycling is when a letter of a word is repeated (English Language FTW 3 )**

We were all stood around the piloting area when I heard, "Is he saying anything?" come from Natasha's headset – it was Mr. Fury.

"Not a word," she replied, glancing over to Loki who was sat on one of the benches.

"Just get him here. We're low on time."

"I don't like it," Steve started, turning towards Tony and me.

"What, Rock of Ages giving up so easily?" Tony asked.

"I don't remember it being that easy. This guy packs a wallop."

"Still, you are pretty spry for an older fellow. What's your thing, Pilates?"

"What?"

"It's like calisthenics," he paused, noticing me glaring at him for making fun of the fact that there is things that Steve doesn't know because he's not from this time, "You might have missed a couple of things doing time as a Capsicle."

"Well, he probably knows a lot more important things than _you_ do, like how to treat people _nicely_," I snapped.

"Fury didn't tell me he was calling you in," Steve said, looking Tony up and down.

"Yeah, there's a lot of things Fury doesn't tell you."

I walked away, and sat next to Loki, being ignored has always been one of the things that annoyed me the most, and I just thought it was best if I stayed away from Tony and Steve's stupid fighting.

"Talk to me, and I'll personally rip your balls off," I said to Loki, my voice dripping with venom, while raising my eyebrows at him.

He just looked away with round, shocked eyes.

All of a sudden a thunderstorm rolled in, and a crack of thunder caused Loki to shrink slightly in his seat.

Tony and Steve turned their attention to me – finally.

"Where's this coming from?" Natasha asked, looking out the window.

"I'm not that pissed off yet," I said, glaring at Steve and Tony.

Loki cringed in his seat when another crack of thunder sounded.

"What's the matter, are you scared of a little lightning?" Steve asked Loki.

"I'm not overly fond of what follows," Loki stated, and all of a sudden the plane shook as if something extremely heavy had landed on top of it.

Tony put on his mask, and opened the hatch as if he was about to fly out to see what had caused the plane to shake.

"What are you doing?" Steve asked, but before Tony could reply, a large man hit against him, took Loki, and flew away.

"And now there's that guy," Tony muttered to himself.

"Another Asgardian?" Natasha asked,

"That guy's a friendly?" Steve also asked.

"Doesn't matter. If he frees Loki or kills him, the Tesseract is lost."

"Stark, we need a plan of attack!" Steve exclaimed as Tony walked towards the open hatch.

"I have a plan. _Attack._"

And then he flew away.

Steve started to grab a parachute, but I grabbed his arm.

"I'd sit this one out, Cap," Natasha just said.

"I don't know if I can."

"These guys are from legend. They're basically gods."

"There's only one God, ma'am, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't dress like that."

Steve was about to walk to the open hatch again, but I called out his name while holding out my hands towards him.

He walked over and took them in his own, "This isn't your fight, Steve", I said, trying to convince him to stay so that he doesn't risk his life, "I know Tony is an ass to you, but you don't have to try and prove yourself to him. You're so much better than he is… But you don't need to go out there, he can handle this on his own."

Steve paused, thinking about what I said, and then he kissed my knuckles.

"I just need to check", and he jumped out the plane.

I stood at the edge of the hatch, and watched him safely descend down.

I didn't know what to do, part of me was screaming with anger because Steve was risking his life and I r_eally _didn't want anything to happen to him, and another part was about to swoon over the fact that he kissed my knuckles.

I just stood silently for a minute, before grabbing a parachute and jumping out,

By the time I landed, Thor had just shot a thunderbolt at Tony with his hammer and Steve was calling them to stop fighting. But he was just ignored.

Wonder how that feels for him, I sneered in my mind, anger building up quickly inside of me.

I walked over to them, my anger stopping me from being afraid: someone was going to listen to me _now._

"Izzy," Steve called, scrambling to grab my hands, but he never got a proper grip, so I easily walked past him and went right up to Thor and Tony.

The circle on Tony's suit started to glow with power, and I walked in front of it, "Don't even dare shoot that," I said in a still, quiet voice, while wind howled and whipped at my face, and thunder and lightning attacked the sky, "If either one of you decided to make _one more_ violent move, I will make it my task to make your life a living hell, got it?"

A bolt of lightning hit the ground near my feet, and I didn't even flinch, "Got it!?" I yelled, more lightning bolts hitting around me.

Both nodded at me silently.

"Good, now go and make yourselves useful and collect Loki so we can find the fucking Tesseract, stop anything bad happening to the Earth, and then you, Thor, can fuck off back to Asgard with him!"

I walked behind them, lightning bolts hitting the ground behind them, making them move more quickly.

And they all avoided me from that point on, not talking to me out of fear of making my anger even worse.

We boarded the plane in silence, and Thor, Loki, and Tony sat opposite me, not looking at me. Only Steve was brave enough to sit next to me, but I put my music on so loud that even if he tried to risk talking to me, I wouldn't even hear it.

At one point I drifted off, dreaming of normal things like drinking coffee, having a lesson at college, going shopping with my friends… a much more mundane life than the one I actually have.

I dreamed about meeting Steve in a normal situation too, having him hold me, love me, kiss me…

But then I woke up. I slowly opened my eyes, to see Tony, Loki and Thor just staring at me, so I shot them glares until they looked away.

Then I realised why there were staring – in my sleep, I had decided to snuggle into Steve.

He moved his arm from around me when he realised I was awake, "Sorry," I mouthed, giving him a shy smile.

He just gave me a small, one-sided, shrug, "I'm just glad you're not so annoyed anymore."

"Oh yeah," I scowled, "I'm not talking to any of you right now."

I went to grab my iPod from my pocket to listen to some more music, but it wasn't there.

Steve held it out, "You fell asleep listening to it, I got worried that you would accidentally strangle yourself with the wires…" he explained, handing it over.

"I go to sleep every night listening to music, I'm fine," I snapped.

Sure, he was just being nice, and it was really sweet that he was worried about my safety, but I'm still incredibly annoyed at him, and everyone, for just ignoring me, and for thinking that violence was the answer to everything like every male on the fucking planet.

He rested his hand on my knee, and I tried to hide a shiver from him, I hated the effect he had on me.

"Please don't be angry at me, Izzy," he whispered, looking at me sadly.

"You just completely ignored me, like I wasn't anything important…" I sniffed, trying to not let the tears, forming in my eyes, to escape down my face.

"Hey… hey… hey…" he murmured, trying to soothe me, "Have you not even noticed?"

"Noticed what?" I sniffed again.

He leaned forwards and rested his lips on my forehead for a few seconds, and I sat frozen, trying once again not to shiver.

He then placed his finger under my chin and titled it up, so that I looked at him, "You're the most important thing to me that I've had in a very long time…"

I looked at him, until a tear finally escaped and slowly trailed down my cheek.

"Hey…." He murmured again, using his thumb to wipe away the tear, and then rested both of his hands softly on either side of my face, "please don't be upset."

"Have you ever felt so… miniscule and unimportant compared to everyone?" I asked, "I do, everyday… I'm never good enough," I sobbed.

"I can't think of anyone more important than you," he whispered."

"We're landing at home base now," Natasha interrupted, and Steve moved his hands away and rested them by his sides silently, while I looked down to my feet and touched where my cheek still tingled from his touch.

As soon as we landed, Loki was escorted away, while Natasha, Tony, Thor, Steve and I were taken to a room to watch what Mr. Fury said to Loki.

Dr. Banner was already in the room, and I just looked over to see that Steve was closely stood next to me.

He'll protect me. He'll protect me. He'll protect me. He'll protect me. I repeated in my head.

"Miss hart? May I have a word?"

I moved even closer to Steve, "s… s… sure…" I recycled.

"It's come to my attention from the Director about your fear of males, and I just feel horrible, I wish I had known sooner and then I wouldn't have come over so… strong.

I really don't want you to worry, the other guy isn't going to appear anytime, I have control over him, okay?"

"So…" I cleared my throat, my legs shaking, "So you're not going to hurt or experiment on me?"

"Of course not," he laughed.

"Okay, I'll try not to run away next time you call after me then…" I said with a small smile.

"Please," he smiled back.

"If you'll direct your attention to the screens," Natasha calls, so we turned around to the computer screens, and I could see a huge glass cell with Loki inside.

"In case it's unclear," Mr. Fury called to Loki, "you try and escape, you so much as scratch that glass – it's 30,000 feet straight down in a steel trap. You get how that works?" he said, indicating to Loki, then the controls, "Ant. Boot."

"It's an impressive cage. Not built, I think, for me," Loki replied seeming unfazed.

"Built for something a lot stronger than you."

"Oh I've heard," he replied, looking straight at the camera, "A mindless beast. Makes play he's still a man," he paused, deep in thought, "or is it for the walking time-bomb, who one second is a thunderous fury, another a snivelling wimp?"

My fists clenches at my sides, and everyone turned their attention towards me.

"How desperate are you, that you call on such lost creatures to defend you?"

"How desperate am I? You threaten my world with war. You steal a force you can't hop to control. You talk about peace, and you kill because it's fun. You have made me very desperate. You might not be glad you did."

"Ooh," Loki leaned forwards with a grin, "It burns you to have come so close. To have the Tesseract, to have power, unlimited power. And for what? A warm light for all mankind to share. And then to be reminded what real power is."

"Well let me know if 'real power' wants a magazine or something."

Everyone stood in awkward silence, until Dr. Banner piped up with: "He really grows on you, doesn't he?"

Steve held out a chair and indicated I should sit down, "Loki's gonna drag this out."

He pushed in my chair, and sat next to me, "So, Thor, what's his play?"

"He has an army called the Chitauri," Thor answered, "They're not of Asgard, nor any world known. He means to lead them against your people. They will win him the Earth in turn, I suspect, for the Tesseract."

"An army from outer space."

"So he's building another portal. That's what he needs Erik Selvig for," Dr. Banner stated.

"Selvig?" Thor asked.

"He's an astrophysicist."

"He's a friend."

"Loki has him under some sort of spell, along with one of ours and a woman," Natasha clarified.

"Who are they?" I asked.

"Clint Barton, and…" she looked down at a file in front of her, "Jules Walker."

"Jules!?" I shouted while standing up, "can I see a photo?"

Natasha showed me a photo of a beautiful girl, with faint reddish hair, and that was when my fears became reality.

"Do you know her?" Steve asked.

I walked back over to my chair and sat down, feeling dizzy, "Yes, she's one of my closest friends," I said, wanting to cry, "You have to save her," I said to no one in particular, or to everyone.

"We will get her back," Steve looked at me, "I promise."

I took his hand underneath the table and squeezed it, before resting it back onto my knee.

"Wonder why Loki let us take him," Steve said after a while of silence that I was given so that I could calm down a little, "He's not leading an army from here."

"I don't think we should be focusing on Loki," Dr. Banner replied, "That guy is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him."

Tony spoke up, and started talking to Dr. Banner about something to do with science that I had no hope of understanding, so I zoned out for a little while.

"Well, if he can do that he would achieve heavy ion fusion without any reactor on the planet," Dr. Banner said at one point.

"Finally, someone who speaks English," Tony replied.

"Is that what just happened?" Steve asked, causing me to giggle – I felt exactly the same way.

"It's good to meet you Dr. Banner. Your work on antielectron collisions is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous, green, rage monster."

I'm not… I thought to myself.

"Thanks," Dr. Banner replied, slightly sarcastically.

Director Fury must have entered the room when Tony said this, as he said, "Dr. Banner is only here to track the Cube. And I was hoping you might join him."

"I would start with that stick of his," Steve put in, "It may be magical, but it works an awful lot like a HYDRA weapon."

"I don't know about that, but it is powered by the Cube. And I would like to know how Loki used it to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys."

"Monkeys?" Thor asked, "I do not understand."

"I do!" Steve exclaimed adorably, and when everyone turned to look at him he mumbled, "I understood that reference…"

I reached over, and squeezed his hand again, giving him a small smile, and he beamed back at me.

And when I looked away, I noticed that Thor, Tony and Dr. Banner had left the room.

"Are you still tired?" Steve asked suddenly.

I nodded, "sadly."

"Can I escort you to your room then?" he asked, while pushing back his chair, standing up, and holding out his arm.

"I would love that," I replied shyly, before standing up and resting my hand on the crook of his elbow.


	8. Chapter 8 - Being Yourself

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Avengers or any characters from it, or 3OH!3 or Donkeyboy. I only own my OC Izzy Hart.**

After some much needed rest, I dragged myself out of bed, a huge smile on my face.

This was the first time in a long time that I didn't have any nightmares during the night.

After showering and drying my hair, I put on some music by Donkeyboy while deciding what to wear.

Today, I decided to wear something a little warmer – bright red skinny jeans, a black Spiderman t-shirt (go, superheroes!), and a black hoodie with my name written on the back in white letters, with some black ballet pumps.

I had just finished doing my makeup, and was running some gel through my hair, while singing to Donkeyboy, when someone knocked on my door.

I took out my headphones and opened the door to find Tony leaning against the wall.

"Oh, hi Tony?"

"Hey Iz, Dr. Banner's lab is a bit boring, and I walked past your room and heard you singing, want to give us a little concert?" he asked with a wink.

"No way in hell," I laughed with embarrassment from him hearing me sing.

Dramatically sighing in disappointment, he places his hands on his hips and looked at me in silence.

"I'll still come and give you someone to talk to?" I suggested, "Or you could just listen to my music."

"Fine," he sighed, "Come on then."

So I locked my door and followed him.

"Miss Hart!" Dr. Banner exclaimed and rested his hands on my shoulders.

"Dr. Banner," I smiled, reminding myself that I shouldn't be afraid of him.

"Please, call me Bruce," he said, moving away to do something on his computer.

I sat on top of a clear table, "Well I guess you should call me Izzy then."

"Izzy has come to entertain us with her singing!" Tony decided to tell Bruce.

"Err no." I rolled my eyes, "You're going to have to deal with the singing already on the songs."

"Who is it that you always listen to when you're pissed off, slash danced to in the plane?"

"I do not dance!" I exclaimed, covering my mouth in embarrassed shock.

"Oh you do, and you mouth the words too."

"Oh God…" I groaned to myself.

Bruce showed me where the dock station that he had in his lab, and I put in my iPod, before playing 3OH!3.

"I know these!" Tony said, looking through the songs, and putting on 'My First Kiss', before dancing to it.

I sat on my table laughing, and I could hardly breathe when Bruce joined in.

They both held out their hands towards me, and I shrugged, it's been a long time since I've fooled around like this, I should enjoy it. So, I got off the table and started dancing/ singing along with Bruce and Tony.

Steve Rogers:

I was in the gym, punching a bag hanging from the ceiling, when I noticed the sky lighten up outside dramatically.

Izzy must be awake, I thought, unwrapping the bandages from around my knuckles, and walking out of the room so that I could find her.

While working out, I had been thinking about Izzy, and I decided that it was my duty to tell her how I feel… well no… I was actually doing it because I wanted to see if she felt the same way as I did.

I walked past Dr. Banner's lab on the way to her room, and was distracted by the loud music coming from it, so I looked in the window, and saw the most amazing sight: Izzy happy.

She was holding hands with Dr. Banner, dancing to the music, and Tony was stood singing the words, making kissing imitations towards them along to the song.

I stood watching for a few moments, and noticed Tony pause for a minute as if he was thinking, and he grabbed something sharp behind him and jabbed it into Dr. Banner.

"Hey!" I yelled, bursting into the room, and Izzy stood frozen, her face reddening, and she rushed over to turn off the music.

"Nothing?" Tony asked Dr. Banner, and then I realised that he was trying to see if he could see the other guy.

"Are you nuts?"

"jury's out," he just replied, "You really have a lid on it, haven't you? What's your secret? Mellow jazz, bongo drums, huge bag of weed?"

I just couldn't believe that he could be so irresponsible, does he not care about anyone?

I looked over to just see Izzy avoiding my eye contact, and I just wanted to go over to her and tell her that she doesn't need to be embarrassed for having fun, but talking to Tony was much more important.

"Is everything a joke to you?"

"Funny things are."

"Threatening the safety of everyone on this ship isn't funny. No offence Doc."

"It's alright," Dr. Banner replied, "I wouldn't have come aboard if I couldn't handle pointy things."

"You're tiptoeing big man," Tony said, with his attention on Dr. Banner, "You need to strut."

"And you need to focus on the problem, Mr Stark," I replied even though he wasn't saying it to me.

"Do you think I'm not?" he replied, "Why did Fury call us in? Why now? Why not before? What isn't he telling us? I can't do the equation unless I have all the variables."

I was about to reply when Izzy screeched, "Oh My God!" and ran out of the room, I didn't even have enough time to see if it was something good or bad, as she was out of the room so quickly. I'll go after her after I've done this, I thought.

Another part of me remembered the last time that I ignored Izzy to try and prove myself to Stark, that was a horrible moment, but I can't help myself…

"You think Fury's hiding something?" I asked, bringing myself to the present. Surely he wouldn't be.

"He's a spy Captain. He's _the_ spy. His secrets have secrets. It's bugging him too isn't it?" he asked, directing his attention back to Dr. Banner.

I just ignored what Stark had been saying, he just needs to trust people more, these are the people in charge, the friendleys, not people doing evil.

"Uh…" Dr. Banner mumbled uncomfortably, "I just want to focus my work here and…"

Oh god, he thinks something is up too, maybe I'm wrong…

"Doctor?" I asked.

"'A warm light for all mankind'. Loki's jab at Fury about the Cube."

"I heard it."

"Well I think that was meant for you," he said, turning towards Stark, "Even if Barton didn't tell Loki about the tower, it was still all over the news."

"The Stark tower? That big, ugly…" Stark glared at me, "building in New York?"

"It's powered by an arc reactor, a self-sustaining energy source. That building will run itself for, what, a year?"

"It's just a prototype," Tony added in, and then he looked at me before smugly adding, "I'm kind of the only name in clean energy right now. That's what he's getting at."

I tried not to get too angry, he is just trying to treat me like I'm stupid, but Izzy said I'm better than him…

"So why didn't S.H.I.E.L.D bring him in on the Tesseract project?" Dr. Banner put in, "What are they doing in the energy business in the first place?"

"I should probably look into that since my decryption program finishes breaking in to all of S.H.I.E.L.D's secure files."

I must have heard Stark wrong…

"I'm sorry, did you say –" I started, but Tony cut me off.

"Jarvis has been running it since I hit the bridge. In a few hours I'll know every dirty secret S.H.I.E.L.D has ever tried to hide."

I stared at him in shock, and he extended his hand, "Blueberry?" he asked, acting as if what he was doing wasn't wrong.

"Yet you're confused why they don't want you around." I stated with loathe.

"An intelligent organisation that fears intelligence? Historically, not awesome."

"I think Loki's trying to wind us up," I said, trying to stay calm again, and trying to keep a level head, "This is a man who means to start a war and if we don't stay focused, he'll succeed. We have orders, we should follow them."

"Followings not really my style," he just replied, and that was when I realised, I shouldn't even be talking to him anymore, I was just giving him more ways to annoy me, so I walked out the room, and went to find Izzy, she was more important than stuck up guys who know nothing about following orders and trust.

I walked for a while, but I finally found her in the gym, with someone else.

As I entered the room, Izzy waved, and the girl turned around to see who she was waving at. It was Jules Walker, the girl that Loki had (or still has?) under his spell.

Izzy walked forward, a shy smile on her face still, "This is my friend, Jules," she introduced, "Fury was able to find out from Loki where she was and we got her back," she added with a big smile.

"Nice to meet you, ma'am," I said, trying to be polite, but to be honest, I only cared about Izzy, "Can I please have a moment with Miss Hart please?" I asked.

She meaningfully looked at Izzy, causing her to blush, "Of course."

We walked to the door, a few metres away, "I just want to apologise for before," I explained, "in Dr. Banner's lab."

She looked at me confused, "What do you mean?"

"For making you feel like you had to be embarrassed for having fun," I explained, running my hand through my hair, and I noticed her glance up at it quickly, as if she was thinking something, "I'm actually really glad that you were having so much fun," I smiled.

"Oh, okay," she blushed, "Thank you."

"Maybe you could…" I murmured, feeling really shy for saying this, "save me a dance next time?"

She opened her mouth in shock, and just looked at me with her big, sparkling, blue eyes, "s…s…sure."

I grabbed her hand, and kissed the knuckle quickly before I got too scared, "I'll leave you to have some fun with your friend now, but save me that dance," I whispered hoarsely, and walked away with shaking legs.

I may have to wait till another day to talk to her about my feelings… If we had another day…

Izzy Hart:

I walked back to Jules, and she just looked at me, "What's going on there?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Nothing…" I looked down at the floor.

"Don't lie to me!"

I stayed silent for a moment, then changed to attention away from me, "Who's this guy you were telling me about then? The dark guy, with a naughty side?"

"I don't think I should tell you, you'll just judge me."

"I would never judge you!" I exclaimed, "_Never."_

"Just… give me some time, okay?" she asked, and I nodded.

"Come on, I'll show you the few places I know."

We walked around, and I showed her Dr. Banner's lab, where we said hello to everyone, my room, and the room where you can see what Loki is doing.

Jules stared at the computers, and I mistook it for her being afraid.

I put my hand on her shoulder, "Don't worry, I won't let him take you."

"What if I want to be taken?" she whispered, her eyes full of tears.

And then that was when I realised that she was in love with Loki.

"Oh Jules…" I whispered, hugging her, "Please don't cry."

"He's such a good guy to me, Iz…" she murmured into my shoulder, "but look what he's done to everyone…"

I thought for a while. I cared so much about my beautiful Jules, all I wanted was her to be happy, even if it was because of the seemingly evil guy…

"Want to go see him?" I asked after a while, and she looked up to me with wide eyes, nodding.

We snuck around, and found our way to where Loki was being kept and I went over to Agent Coulson who had been looking over him.

"Agent Coulson, can I please have a moment with him?" I asked, touching him on his arm casually, "It's quite urgent."

The fact that he let us be alone with him so easily seemed a bit suspicious, but I shrugged it off and I looked over to see Loki and Jules looking at each other, their hands pressed against the glass of the cell.

"I don't know what's happened between you and Jules," I spoke up, looking to Loki who now turned his attention towards me, "But I want her to be happy, so if you so much as hurt her physically or emotionally, I will show you just how angry I can get, okay?"

He nodded silently, and turned back to Jules, and I couldn't help but be a bit jealous. It was so obvious that he cared for her, and he was trying to take over the fucking world! Steve would never like me like this.

I shook my head, I need to try and stop Loki from taking over the Earth so that he and Jules can be together…

"Jules, I'm going to go, I need to decide something, Loki, remember, hurt her, and you'll regret it more than anything in the world…" and I left to go to my room and think.


	9. Chapter 9 - Disguised Feelings

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Avengers or any of the characters in it, I only own my OC Izzy Hart, and Jules Walker.**

I walked out of the room on the way to my own, when I bumped, literally, into Steve.

"Oh, sorry", I said, smiling, forgetting that I had just been caught coming out of Loki's room.

He looked around to make sure that there was no one else around, before grabbing my arm, pulling me to the side of the corridor and hissing, "What were you doing in there with Loki!?"

I looked at the floor guiltily, not knowing if I could trust him, because he might judge Jules and prevent me from trying to convince Loki that it's better to be with the one that he loves than to take over the Earth.

"How much can I trust you, Steve?" I asked, not looking away from the floor.

He stepped forward and grabbed my hands, "I'm willing to do anything for you."

I looked up at him slowly, feeling jealousy towards Loki and Jules again; I wish I could have someone to love me like that. No… I wish Steve loved me like that, instead of just liking me in a platonic way.

"Well then you can't judge Jules," I said, and then thinking about it, I added: "or me…"

"I won't," he just said, and I paused for a while, just looking up a little at his serious face, wishing that he would just smile or something, because if I was to be honest with myself I was feeling a little scared…

"Loki and Jules have formed a… romantic… attachment," I said, not knowing what words would be best.

"But he's –"he started to snap, but I cut him off – not daring to even glance at him again.

"I know… I need to find a way to try and find a way to stop him, so they can be together…" I chose this time to look up to him, he wouldn't dare hurt me, and I felt really strongly about my friend's happiness, "I don't care what he's done. He treats Jules right. She's one of the luckier ones who find someone that loves them," I finished.

"I…" Steve started, but he stopped, "very lucky indeed…"

I nodded sadly to myself, removing my hands away from him, and I am about to walk away from him when he calls out.

"Hey… want to go exploring?"

The way he said it, it made me feel like I'd be missing out from a lot of fun and excitement if I said no.

I turned around to face him, "Who with?"

"Me."

I gulped, "Just you?"

"Well yes…"

Alone… with Steve… "Okay."

He lead me to an area that I hadn't been to before, with locked storage rooms.

"What are we doing, Steve?" I whispered, nervous that someone would find us.

"I need to find out if what Stark said is true…" he mumbled, trying to decide which room to go in.

I was fuming, as if he still had this stupid fucking relationship with Tony, "You've been listening to the crap Tony says to torment you!?" I hissed.

He looked at me with a small smile, almost as if he was thinking of a personal secret, "Not anymore," he said, and then he grabbed the side of room 10C's door, and forced it to slide open.

I tried not to stare, I really did, but once you stopped being afraid of those muscled arms… they were pretty hot.

"Come on," he whispered, with an infectious grin, before grabbing one of my hands and pulled me inside.

We ran through the room, and I couldn't help but giggle. This wasn't the sort of thing I had ever imagined myself doing – breaking into places that I'm not supposed to be in, but with Steve, instead of being scary, it was actually exciting.

The room was dark, but you could see the outline of many large, wooden boxes, piled into shelves, and we ran through the pathways between them.

We reached a metal ladder that allowed you to climb to a suspended metal floor which had even more shelves of boxes. Instead of climbing up, Steve grabbed the edge of the railing and jumped over it before landing on the metal floor silently.

When I climbed up the ladder I looked at him with a smirk, "Show off."

He just laughed to me, "I can't help it."

"Well you didn't have to," I said, trying to joke around with him, "I already know how amazing you are," and I laughed, but when he just looked at me seriously, I wanted to kick myself.

I looked at him with scared eyes, feeling my face fall, he's realised that I like him, hasn't he… and he's horrified.

Looking away quickly before I embarrassed myself anymore by letting him see the tears forming in my eyes, I stared at the floor, and swing from my heels to my tiptoes a few times.

"Izzy…" he started.

Oh god, please don't say anything, it's hard enough not to cry already.

"How about we just find out about whatever Tony said, instead of being childish," I whispered, still not looking at him so that he didn't see the tears rolling down my cheeks – why was I so unlovable? I was sick of being seen as the friend…

"Sure," he sighed before opening the box in front of him to find a gun-shaped object, and masks lying on saw dust.

"What…?" I started, but he just grabbed the gun without saying anything, and ran out the room.

I just looked at the direction he ran off in for a few minutes, before punching the wall next to me, screaming in frustration, before collapsing to the floor crying.

After a while, I picked myself up, and slowly walked out of the room, and outside was Agent Coulson.

"Excellent!" he exclaimed when he noticed me.

I looked at him for a while, his attitude towards me had definitely changed, before he was ready to snap at me… maybe he was just on his man period.

"Were you looking for me?" I asked, hoping that he wouldn't notice that I had just come out of a room that I definitely shouldn't be in.

"Yes, it's time for you to do some training!"

Ah, I thought to myself as I followed him to the gym, it's time to try and control these powers.


	10. Chapter 10 - Helping a Friend

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Avengers or the characters in it, I only own my OC Izzy Hart and Jules Walker**

I was wearing a suit that Bruce and Tony had made for me, and I feel a little uncomfortable in it. This is because it is a skin-tight black suit, - similar in style to Natasha's - paired with black gloves that each have a circle on the palms, and knee-high boots.

This outfit had been created to try and help me have a better control on my powers.

The theory is that there is a connection between myself and the weather, and breaking the connection with his suit means that I will have a closer relationship with it, which means that I won't be able to change the weather on a large-scale – such as creating a thunderstorm – but I could on a small-scale – creating small, but powerful, thunderbolts.

I had only had a small amount of practice with these when a loud roar of an explosion went off and the whole plane rumbled.

I don't know why, but I didn't wait to see what Agent Coulson said to do, and instead ran towards Dr. Banner's lab.

Just as I arrived, Tony and Steve ran out,

"No time to talk!" Tony called before Steve and I could say anything to each other, "We need to repair Engine 3!"

I looked at Steve, forgetting to be angry for a minute because I knew that this was going to be dangerous, "Be careful…"

"Don't get hurt," Steve replied, before running after Tony.

Yes, Steve's costume is a lot nicer than mine… I thought to myself, before looking at the mess of Bruce's lab. There was shattered glass everywhere, overturned tables, and a gaping hole in the floor.

I looked down to see a maze of pipe work, staircases, and suspended floors.

"Bruce!" I heard Natasha call, so I quickly sat on the edge of the hole and slid down to the floor to see what was the matter, and noticed her trapped her under pipework.

"Izzy," she said before I could try and help her escape, "help Bruce."

I turned around, and saw it – Bruce fighting to not change into the Hulk.

A shot of fear ran through me, but I knew I could help, I _knew. _So I breathed slowly, before kneeling on the floor, and gingerly touching Bruce's curled up body.

"Bruce, can you hear me?" I asked, and when I saw him nod slightly I continued, "Good. Now, please just concentrate on my voice. That's all you have to do, we'll take this a slow step at a time. Are you concentrating?" he nodded, "Good. Now take deep breaths. Keep doing that, and it'll be a lot easier to think straight. Now listen, you know you don't have to change into him. You're strong enough to control him, remember?"

He nodded, and it seemed as if things were being a lot easier for him.

"That's right, you told me yourself that you can control this side of you. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, and I doubt not being in control of yourself is something you w_ant_ to do."

He laughed roughly, "Not particularly."

I held out my hand, "Hold my hand, if I can get over my fear, then you can get over this."

He grabbed my hand softly, and continued to breathe deeply, until he let out a long sigh, and looked up at me, his face covered in sweat and a huge smile on his face.

We then both helped Natasha free her ankle, just in time to hear her headset go off with: "It's Barton. He took out our systems. He's headed for the detention level. Does anyone copy?"

"He's here for Loki…" I said, looking at Natasha, "I know that I can talk some sense into Barton, but I know that I won't be able to stop Loki from escaping, and protect Jules, I don't have the fighting skills."

She nodded, so I leant over and grabbed her head set, "This is Izzy Hart, I copy," and then I ran off to find Barton.

Luckily I remembered where the detention level is from my travels, so I was able to get there quickly.

Walking along one of the suspended floors was Agent Barton, and I walked along it slowly.

When he noticed me, he grabbed an arrow and pointed his loaded quiver at me. I held up my hands, backing up to the edge of the railing, with shaking legs, and scared eyes.

"Please, don't hurt me," I whimpered.

Luckily, he mustn't have seen me as a threat, because he lowered his bow. I knew though, that if I tried to talk to him, that he wouldn't listen and would just shoot his bow, even if I kept on playing the fake, scared thing. Then I realised, this was a mind spell, so maybe something such as a hit to the head might help break the connection, it was risky… but I needed to do it.

"Thanks," I said, with a smirk, and I shot his with lightning from the circles in my gloves, before he could shoot me with an arrow, causing him to hit a nearby wall hard.

I ran over to his unconscious body, and made sure that he was breathing, and luckily he was.

I stood over him, my hands pointing at him in case this didn't work, but when his eyes flickered, and then focused on me, they weren't the glowing blue that they were before, so I lowered them, and helped him up.

"Agent Barton?" I said, and held out my hand, which he took in a firm handshake, "Izzy Hart."

"What happened?" he asked, looking around confused.

"Loki had you under a mind control spell," I answered, "Do you have any pain in your head?" I asked, worrying a little seeing though I had just slammed him into a wall.

"No… no…" he mumbled, stretching his arms, "Why?"

I thought for a while, "I think it's best if you don't know, I don't want you to hate me," I grinned sheepishly.

We stood in silence for a while because I didn't know what I should be doing, and then I remembered Loki.

"Oh Shit!" I exclaimed, "I need to check on Natasha!"

"Agent Romanoff?" Barton said, following me as I took off towards Loki's cell room.

When I entered, everything seemed normal, Loki was in his cage, Agent Coulson was sat by the controls, and Jules was intact.

Natasha, Thor and Bruce were also there, and the former ran over to see Agent Barton while the others stood formally - I guess I'm not the only person who didn't know what to do.

"I need a moment alone with Loki," I said, and no one even doubted whether I should have it, and instead they walked out alone.

"Looks like your little invasion slash escape plan failed," I said when everyone was out, sitting on the chair near the cell controls.

He just shrugged, "There will be more opportunities."

"You don't have to take over the Earth you know."

"Oh, but I do," he grinned.

"I wonder how Jules will feel about that…" I mumbled, "You know that she's convinced that you're a good guy?"

He sniffed, "Stupid human."

"I _know _you are."

"Well then you're even less intelligent that she is."

"Then why are you so affectionate towards her?"

"Err…" he thought, at loss for words, and I laughed.

"Exactly. But you know that she'll never forgive you if you carry out your plan."

He nodded sadly, "If I could stop it, I would…"

"Why can't you?"

He shook his head, and returned to his cocky self, "Like I'd tell you."

I sat in silence for a bit, before I realised why he wouldn't be able to stop the plan. And smiled to myself, "I'm going to talk to Thor, he'll help break your deal."

I walked out before he could say anything, and felt incredibly proud of myself for figuring out a way to help Jules be happy.

Agent Coulson was the only person waiting outside, "Do you know where Thor is?"

"Meeting room 3."

I thanked him, and found the room.

I entered without knocking, and found myself in a room that was taken up mainly by a large table in the shape of the S.H.I.E.L.D logo, which had Natasha, Thor, Agent Barton, Bruce, Steve, Mr. Fury, and Tony sat around it.

"Miss Hart," Mr. Fury said, "You don't have the permission to be in this meeting."

"Sorry, but I have something of extreme importance to say."

"Okay, go ahead," he replied, and I turned to Thor, but I couldn't help feel everyone's eyes on me, making me feel especially awkward because of the skin tight outfit.

"Loki doesn't want to take over the Earth," I started to explain, "Well, not anymore. Jules said to me, that he is good to her, and it seemed peculiar at the time, because I couldn't see why he would be kind to her, while thinking so lowly of humans."

"He's obviously using her for one of his little games, Miss Hart, now will you please leave us to talk about more important things?" Mr. Fury said, waving away what I was saying, and turned around on his chair so that his back was to me.

I stood for a while, with my hands crossed, glaring at him for a while, before deciding to shoot the table in front of him with a small amount of lightning.

"Miss Hart!" he exclaimed, standing up as if he was going to restrain me.

I took a step forward and pointed a finger at him, "Sit the fuck down, and listen like the _respectful _twat you should be."

He held up his hands, and slowly sat down slowly.

I took another breath, and looked back at Thor, "Loki wants to back out of his deal… you know, the one were he gets the Cube for a Chitauri army? But he can't. The guy's that he's made a deal with must have made some sort of threat to ensure that he doesn't back out."

Thor clicked on to what I was saying, "So if there was no threat, my brother will leave your planet alone?"

"Exactly."

"Then I shall take him to Asgard, mother and father will protect him."

"But we need the Cube," Mr. Fury put in, and when I turned towards him, he looked towards the table.

"What, for your weapons!?" Bruce yelled.

"Weapons?" I asked, stepping towards Mr. Fury, and grabbing his shirt.

"Yes, w…w…we were g…going to b…b…build an ars…arsenal –" he started.

"Well you're not gonna," I snapped, and I shoved him back into his seat, "You need it to go to Asgard anyway, right?" I asked Thor.

"Yes."

"I'll find out where the Cube and Dr. Selvig are from Loki, then you can take him, and maybe Jules, to Asgard."

Thor looked like he was going to say something but I stopped him with, "do you want your brother to be _happy?_"

"Of course, she can come too if that is what my brother wants."

I looked around the room once more, and everyone was looking at me with awe, except Tony who whispered something to Steve, who then flushed red. Great, I forgot for a minute how ridiculous I look in this outfit, no amount of authority that I show will prevent me looking like an idiot in it.

I sighed, "Have fun with the rest of your meeting, Fury," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm, and I walked out the door, hoping that Tony and Steve didn't make fun of how stupid I look in this costume.


	11. Chapter 11 - Nightmares

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Avengers or any of the characters from it, I only own my OC Izzy Hart**

"The time is now 7:30pm," a voice boomed over the speakers, and people started to walk down the corridor I was stood in ion response.

I caught the arm of a woman walking past me, "What's happening?"

"Last meal, Agent Hart," she replied before walking quickly away.

"It's just Miss!" I yelled back, before following the crowd.

I hadn't had anything to eat in 2 days, except a few snacks on the way here and to Germany, and if I was to be honest, I am starving.

I'm surprised no one worried about the lack of food I have had, but oh well, I'll see If I can make up for it now.

Outside what _must _be a food hall, was a long queue, so I stood at the end of it, when I heard people whispering comments to each other while looking at me.

I put my hand on my hips, glaring into the eyes of the next person who looked at me, "Can I help?" I hissed at her, causing her to gulp nervously.

"S…s…sorry, Agent Hart, but I don't think you're s…supposed to be queuing… you sh…ould go to your area."

I sighed, "_One, _it's _Miss _Hart. _Two, _if I knew that I had to do something special for something to eat, don't you think I would have fucking done it by now!?"

She flinched, and tried to hide behind the person behind her.

Someone cleared their throat beside me, "I can show you where to go A-Miss," he said when I turned to face him.

"Thank you," I replied, and he led me back down the corridor, up some stairs, and to another room, which he knocked on the door of, and then opened it while introducing me.

Inside was Agent Coulson.

We nodded at each other in greeting, and my eyes locked onto a long table that was filled with food, buffet-style, causing my stomach to grumble.

"When was the last time you ate?" Coulson asked.

"Maybe a day… and a half ago?" I cringed, even though it was my fault that no one had thought that it would be a good idea to tell me about meal times.

"Eat then, you don't have to wait for everyone else."

"Thanks," I grinned, before stuffing my plate full.

I was onto my third plate of desserts when everyone else walked in (everyone else being Steve, Tony, Bruce, Natasha and Barton.)

I was about to put a giant spoon of ice-cream into my mouth when Tony put his hand onto the hand holding it, "Don't get too sweet, some of us might not be able to take it," he said with one of his winks.

I blushed slightly, "I'm hardly sweet, you've seen how bitter I can be," I smirked.

"Doctor, what type of dessert would you think she is?" Tony asked Bruce.

He seemed to consider this for a while, "I wouldn't put her down as a dessert, maybe more of a fiery curry," he replied, while he put some of that onto his plate.

Natasha sat opposite me and leant forward, critically looking at me, making me feel awkward, "She s_hould _be something sweet," she said, looking around to everyone, "Only a sweet person would go through so much trouble and judging from others to make someone else happy…" she looked at me again, her hand on her chin as she thought, "Maybe a chocolate – dipped strawberry."

I picked one of those from my plate and looked at it for a while, before popping it into my mouth.

"I've only ever had one encounter with you Miss," Agent Barton said as he sat down, "and I doubt you'll want me to base a dessert on you when you were so angry and distressed."

I laughed, "I'm pretty sure that, more often than not, I'm like that."

"You know Iz the most Capsicle," Tony said, "What do _you _think?"

Steve looked embarrassed, "Why would you say that?"

My eye twitched a little in annoyance, why would he be embarrassed about spending time with me? I thought he at least liked me as a friend…

Bruce sat next to me, and noticed tiny sparks of anger coming from the circles on the palms of my gloves, "Don't act like your embarrassed to spend time with Izzy! She's great company!" he chuckled nervously, and gave meaningful looks at my hands.

At first, Steve didn't notice what Bruce was indicating, but when he did he let out an, "Oh!" and quickly sat down near me.

"I didn't mean it like that Izzy, you know I love spending so much time with you…"

I looked up at him with a glare and snapped, "Then why be so embarrassed about Tony saying that you know me well because you spend a lot of time with me?"

"Erm…" he mumbled, trying to think of an excuse probably.

I slid my chair back, stood up, and roughly shoved it under the table, "_Exactly."_

I sighed internally in sadness, he doesn't even like me as a friend, and here's me falling head over heels…

I walked to the door and paused with my hand on the handle, "I won't even bother giving you my time anymore, not when you don't even like me…" I turned around to him, still glaring, "I have feelings, _sadly, _you should have known that when you played around with them."

I walked out, letting the door slam behind me, and briskly walked to my room, which I locked myself in for the night.

**Steve Rogers:**

I groaned and slammed my head onto the table.

"Sorry, Cap," Stark muttered, "Didn't mean to get you into trouble with the Missus."

I didn't even bother replying, I was so angry at him for putting me into that situation – like he wanted me to make a fool of myself by admitting to Izzy that I have feelings for her…

I thought for a moment, that was probably _exactly _what he wanted, maybe _he _was interested in her… or maybe he just loved teasing me _this _much.

I sat up straight, trying to decide what I should do next. I hated the fact that she thinks that I don't even like being around her, especially as I want to spend as much time as I can with her, and I hated the fact that I have hurt her even more, but I can't see how I could show this without her finding out what my true feelings are.

Throughout me thinking to myself, Agents Romanoff and Barton were whispering to one another, but I had paid no attention to them, until I heard Agent Barton exclaim, "Well why won't he tell her how he feels?"

"It's called, Agent Barton," I said, "not wanting to make an ass of yourself when you find out that they do not feel the same way."

Everyone decided to answer to this at the same time, their answers varying slightly, but they all seemed to agree that she does feel the same way.

I shook my head, not allowing myself to listen to them, of course she doesn't, all I have done since we have met is scare, upset, and annoy her, and I couldn't even protect her when we were attacked because I was too busy with Stark!

"I need time to think," I just said, walking to the door.

"Just tell her already, you're going to hurt her more the longer you make her wait," I heard Stark say before I closed the door, and I walked to the gym, and punched some bags, with that statement on my mind.

I wish there was a way to tell whether or not she felt the same way, because everyone else seems to know and I am clueless, there is no clear signs surely… I think it's just safe to assume that she doesn't feel the same, I mean, why would she love a clueless man out of his time? I'm pathetic if you are honest, time has changed so much. She would love someone who knows what all these gadgets and trendy things are, not some freak who was changed to be some sort of… superhuman.

Some superhuman I turned out to be…

I think it's just best to tell her the truth about my reaction, while leaving out my feelings.

It was late when I finished, but I felt a lot calmer, convinced that I will be able to solve this situation in the morning, without having to make a fool of myself.

I knew something was wrong as soon as I stepped into the corridor that has our rooms on, and after a few steps forward the carpet started to get more and more wet. I started to run, and stopped outside Izzy's door – where water was flowing out from under.

Without thinking, I slammed into the door – breaking the lock – and entered her room.

Izzy screamed with fear when I did this, clutching a soaked duvet around herself.

"What's happened?" I asked, noticing the tears down her face, and a rain cloud that was starting to disappear.

"Nightmares," she answered, and after a short pause she broke down into sobs.

I ran over and held onto her freezing, soaked body, wishing I could protect her, even from her own mind.

I carried her to the bathroom, and put her onto her own feet.

"Can you grab me some pyjamas?" she sniffed, holding back tears, "Bottom draw."

I did so, and grabbed out a random t-shirt and a pair of fluffy pyjama bottoms, and handed them to her. She then locked herself in the bathroom and got into the shower.

I stood awkwardly in the main room, and noticed how different her floors were: while mine are all carpets, hers are laminate, cold, flooring.

I was wondering why this was, when a loud sucking noise started from the edges of the room, and all the excess water was sucked away – that'll explain it then, she must have explained about the nightmares.

I looked at the soaked bed, and decided to do something useful, while I waited to see if Izzy is okay, by changing the sheets to dry ones.

She walked out of the bathroom, with flushed cheeks, and sadness in her eyes that made me want to hold her and never let her go.

"Izzy…" I whispered, walking over to her, but she flinched away from me, like when she was afraid.

"Izzy…" I said again, deciding to explain myself, hoping that she would talk to me again, "About before… I just… I thought that Tony was trying to find a way to torment me… I didn't… I didn't want to give him that satisfaction."

She hadn't even moved, just continued to stare at me blankly, so I moved towards her again, but she just flinched.

"I would never hurt you…" I whispered, hoping that she wasn't going to start being afraid of me again.

"That's what they all say," she whispered back, sitting down onto the floor.

I sat down as close as I dared to, "Who hurt you?"

"I can't say."

It must be bad, I thought to myself, and then I made a connection in my head, "Are they the reason for your fear of men?"

She nodded, "And for your nightmares?"

Again, she nodded, "What happened?"

She sighed, as if she was deciding whether she could talk to me, "I was used, abused, then dumped for a prettier model," then she shrugged as if it was nothing.

I looked at her in confusion, why would someone think there was someone prettier than her, she was stunning to me…

"And then… the first guy I… properly trusted… who… stopped my nightmares for a night… used me too…" she started to cry again, and I put my arm around her, "you don't even like me, why are you here?" she sobbed into my chest.

"Of course I don't _like _you," I replied, risking a small kiss on the top of her head, light enough that she wouldn't even feel it, "_like _is too weak of an emotion."

She looked at me, with watery but knowledgeable eyes, and I started to worry that I had said too much and she had figured out my feelings, so I changed the subject, "How about you go back to sleep?"

She shook her head, "I'll only have more nightmares…"

I thought for a while, "Do you want me to watch over you? I'll make sure to wake you up if you have any more."

"Okay," she yawned, and cuddled into bed.

I looked down at my now soaked t-shirt, and started to take it off, but Izzy screamed, "What are you doing!?"

I looked at her blankly, "taking off my wet shirt?"

She blinked rapidly, "Please don't."

"Why?" I asked, wanting to laugh at how absurd she was sounding.

She just looked at me, opening and closing her mouth, and I couldn't help but laugh then, she was so cute.

I took off the t-shirt, and watched her reaction, her eyes widening and then when she tried to look elsewhere.

"Why are you embarrassed?" I smirked.

She flushed then, "I'm not exactly used to half-naked men in my room…" she mumbled, and when we locked eyes, we both started to laugh.

"Don't worry, _ma'am, _I won't make a habit of taking off my clothes in your room."

She fake pouted at me, "Oh, _damn!_"

She shivered slightly then, "It's a bit cold for people to take off their clothes anyway."

"Says the woman in a warm bed, all snuggled up?"

"I'm not a woman!" she laughed, "I'm just a girl."

"Someone as beautiful as you can't be perceived as just a _girl._"

She looked at me shocked, and did a little nervous laugh, "Well, woman, or no woman, this is _my w_arm bed, and you won't ever steal my warmth."

I laughed at her, shocked at how much the conversation has changed, "Is that a dare, _ma'am?"_

"Yes, my good s_ir, _it is."

So I stood up, and found her ankles under her duvet, and started to pull her off the bed, causing her to shriek with laughter, wiggling her feet, trying to get free.

When I managed to get her off the bed, I proceeded to climb into it, and she glared at me, trying not to laugh.

"Problem?" I smirked.

She then climbed onto the bed next to me and pushed my side to try and roll me off the bed, but she wasn't strong enough and instead just fell onto me laughing. I then wrapped my arms around her waist when she tried to sit up.

"Steve!" she laughed, "Let me go!"

"And if I do?" I prompted.

"I'll do anything, just let me go!"

"Can I have a hug then?" I smirked, and she looked down at me with a shocked laugh.

"You're easily amused," she replied, and I sat up so she could wrap her arms around my shoulders.

After a while I started to pull away, but she held on tighter, "Are you wearing… lynx?" she whispered, before looking at me with dark eyes.

I thought for a while, was that the name of the spray left in my room? Yes I think it was.

I nodded, mesmerised by how her eyes had changed suddenly, I really want to know what she was feeling.

"I love lynx," she whispered again, before blinking a few times, making her eyes back to the bright blue they normally were and laughed, untangling herself and lying down next to me.

"I forgot what it was like to hold someone so warm and who smells so nice…" she laughed at herself, shaking her head, "Sorry, I sound stupid."

I propped myself up and looked down to her, "No you don't…" I smiled slowly, wishing that I could just kiss her, kiss her like she deserved, kiss her like I've wanted to since the first time I saw her, and just… kiss her troubles away.

She snuggled into me, "Night, Steve."

I looked down at her shocked, doesn't she want me to go to my room?

I tried to move away in case I was just taking it the wrong way, maybe that was just a goodbye embrace, but she looked up to me with sad eyes, "Please don't go, I don't want any nightmares."

I quickly lay back down and put my arm around her, "Sorry Izzy…"

"Protect me," she whispered into my chest, before drifting off to sleep.

I was so tense… feeling so… inappropriate… for being here. Things like this… they mean a lot different to me, you don't just sleep with someone unless you're in love…

I thought for a while, I love her…

My heart skipped a beat when I thought it, but I may as well admit it to myself, because it's true, I do love her, it may not have taken very long, but it's true, I want to hold her like this and fall asleep with her every night, I wanted to kiss her, I wanted to protect her, I wanted to make her as happy as she can be… but I can't, not when there's only a friendship between us… so this is inappropriate…

I can't sleep with thoughts like these on my minds, but at least it meant that I could savour the moment, as this will be the only time that I can hold her in my arms like this… unless she falls asleep on me in the copter again or something… but that wasn't as private, as close, as this..

"Steve," she whispered, and I looked down, expecting her to be waking up, but she wasn't, instead she was talking in her sleep.

I noticed tears escaping from her closed lids, and she started to snuggle into me even more than before, so I was about to wake her up in fear that she was having another nightmare, when she whispered, "Why won't you kiss me?"

My heart skipped a beat, and I looked down at her in shock, trying to think through what she had just said.

No… she doesn't like you… I told myself, trying to stop myself from getting hopeful; it'll be something completely different. She's saying it to someone else. There's a reason why she _has _to kiss me. Maybe some twisted game of someone. But it won't be because she w_ants _me to kiss her.

I kept on trying to think of logical explanations, but nothing stopped that little bit of joyful hope in me growing bigger, and nothing stopped the smile on my face, because it seemed likely… that I had a chance.


	12. Chapter 12 - Who's Peggy Carter?

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own The Avengers or any of the characters from it, I only own my OC Izzy Hart**

**Steve Rogers:**

I must have fallen asleep at some point, because I had just opened my eyes, and what a beautiful sight I woke up to: Izzy curled up against me. Then I remembered last night, and I couldn't help but smile.

_I love her_.

I never thought that I would be able to, not after Peggy, but then again, no one is like Izzy. She brings out a fun side of me that I haven't seen in a long time, whereas before I was just so focused on work… I really liked the person that she made me, and I liked the person that she is even more.

She opened her eyes slowly, letting out a small, cute, yawn, that melted my heart, and looked up at me with blinking eyelids, before giving me a slow smile, "Morning."

I wrapped my arms around her tighter, wishing that I could just live in this moment forever, "Morning."

"How did you sleep?" She asked, yawning again, causing me to grin like an idiot.

"Let's see," I said looking around, "A warm, dry, comfortable bed. A beautiful, girl snuggled against me… yes, I definitely slept perfectly," I smiled.

She held me a little tighter, and hid her face into my chest, "Same here."

I risked a kiss on the top of her head, and she looked up at me with a shocked, open mouth, and I didn't even have time to curse myself, I was just stuck in whatever… chemistry was starting between us.

I'm going to risk it, I told myself, I'm going to kiss her.

So I leant forward, and so did she.

She closed her eyes, and started to smile, when all of a sudden someone knocked at the door, and we both jumped, moving away from each other, looking around shocked, not knowing what to do.

I was so annoyed at whoever it was, so annoyed that I was about to go out and yell at whoever was ruining what would have been a perfect moment, when I remembered the whole picture of the situation. I had spent the night in Izzy's room, which is one of the most inappropriate things that I could have done, especially because everyone can tell that I have feelings for her.

Then it hit me, if I was caught then everyone will judge Izzy, maybe me as well, but mostly her, and I couldn't do that, I _won't _get caught.

"Mr. Rogers." The person at the door said, and I groaned, there was no way I'd be able to get out of this awkward situation now.

Izzy grabbed the duvet and wrapped it around her tightly, looking embarrassed for being in her pyjamas, and I blushed a little myself, "Maybe you want to answer that?" she asked, looking up at me shyly. I don't think she realised the danger she was in… I know that someone as emotionally fragile as her wouldn't be able to take it, I didn't want her to be hurt…

I opened the door to see Agent Coulson, "Err… Coulson… how can I help?" I asked, trying to act casual.

"Director Fury has called another meeting for the Avengers Initiative," he answered, looking around me, looking into Izzy's room.

I cleared my throat to get his attention again, and very sheepishly asked him to not tell anyone about me being in Izzy's room, it wasn't what it looked like after all, but we both agreed that everyone would judge her for what happened and we knew that that would just end badly, so he agreed to keep it a secret.

I walked back in and slipped on my now dry t-shirt, "I'll see you later?" I asked Izzy, who was still hiding in the duvet.

"If you want…" she smiled.

I walked to the meeting room with Coulson, and sat down, it looked like everyone was waiting for me. We had had a meeting yesterday, which Izzy had interrupted, about why we were recruited, and now it was time to say whether or not we were willing to become a part of this program.

"Steve?" Fury asked me, "Are you willing to be a part of the Avenger Initiative?"

I looked around the room, there was Agents Barton and Romanoff, Doctor Banner, and Stark, but no Izzy, and I couldn't see why, we were basically being used to look like superheroes, helping the world, etc, she would be perfect for this, what with her weather connections.

"Mr. Rogers?" he prompted again.

"Why isn't Izzy here?" I asked him.

"We have decided that Miss Hart… isn't suitable for this program. She is too… unstable… too young… We have no need for her here, we are going to send her back home now that she is no longer needed to help with Loki."

"But Sir, wouldn't she be perfect for this program?" I asked him, "She's practically a superhero in herself. You can't just send her away!"

He looked at me for a while, "How about this? I will talk to Miss Hart about the Avengers Initiative, see how she feels, if you agree to join?"

I nodded, "Okay then."

I knew that this was the best that I was going to get, and at least there was a chance for her to be a part, I know that she will be able to convince the Director to let her stay, I would hate it if she went back home…

Everyone else present agreed, and that was it, everything was sorted.

**Izzy Hart:**

I was walking around the corridors, listening to music, when I was called to the Director, and I started to worry that it was about how Steve had spent the night in my room. I really hope that they won't kick me off for being inappropriate, I just… needed the nightmares to stop, that's why I let him sleep in my room.

I definitely didn't plan for anything to happen, but as soon as we nearly kissed… I realised just what sort of image I was giving for myself, of course I had feelings for Steve, but… but I'm not the sort of girl that does things with people without being in a relationship… So I regretted it so much, I wanted it to happen of course, because… I liked him so much… but I can't be the type of girl that does things with a man and then just gets dumped. I wouldn't let myself get hurt like that.

The next time, if there is another time, where I almost kiss Steve… we have to be together…

"Miss Hart, I am just going to be blunt here, Rogers has convinced me to talk to you about our program: The Avengers Initiative, those who are a part of it will be seen and will act as superheroes. And I don't think you're right for it."

Oh thank god, it wasn't about Steve. Well it was, but it wasn't about him staying over the night…

And if, what Mr. Fury said, is what I think it is, then no, I'm definitely not right for it.

"So what? Fighting crime, defeating bad guys, the stereotypical thing of superheroes?" I asked.

He nodded, and I looked at my scrawny arms, "We both know that I don't have the… strength… to do something like that, despite my connections with the weather, I just wouldn't be suitable, I'd just endanger myself…"

"Well then, now that we have convinced Loki to tell us where the Cube and Doctor Selvig are, and that he, Thor, and your friend are off to Asgard, we don't have a use for you here at S.H.I.E.L.D…"

I tried to be too annoyed at this, because one, Mr. Fury wasn't even giving me a chance to say goodbye to Jules, and two, I'm going to be sent home now, even though there will probably be something else I could do, interrogations maybe… but I just kept my mouth shut, I was sick and tire of blowing up in people's faces.

"Can I just… have another day?" I asked, "Before I go home…"

"Sure." He said, and I walked off to the gym, hoping that I'd be able to find Steve there.

I couldn't tell him I was leaving, he'd be so annoyed at me, I know he would be, but there's no point in fighting the truth, although I'm different, I don't really belong here, I'm not some superhero… And there wasn't anything officially anything between us… He might not even be upset that I'm going, after all I just gave him the image that I will do things such as kiss people, and then they won't even feel the need to be with me. He's a man, he's just going to take advantage of that…

On my travels I saw him, talking and laughing with Agent Romanoff, and I felt a twinge of jealousy.

What are you doing!? I yelled at myself, you're not even going to be here anymore, he can be with whoever he wants… And if he is with her, that means I won't get hurt… but no, I don't want him to be with anyone other than _me._

He noticed me and came over, "Has the Director talked to you?"

I nodded, and he didn't say anything else and instead he just hugged me, assuming that I was a part of the program probably. I wish I could tell him the truth, but… I can't, I just need one more good day with him - it'll be the last that I'll ever have.

Agent Romanoff was still on my mind, and I just couldn't help myself when I burst out, "Are you interested in Natasha?"

He looked at me, and laughed. "Why would you think that?"

I gave him an 'are you stupid?' look, "I don't know, maybe the fact that she's talented, gorgeous, sexy, and every man's dream?"

His eyes looked at me with what seemed like sadness, "I can't like her when I fell for someone else…"

I knew that that may mean that he has feelings for me, but since he's seen me, he's just acted like a friend again, like we didn't almost kiss… and because of that, I felt as if it c_ouldn't _be me, I was just a replacement, to help him get over someone else.

Then it hit me, he must have started to love someone even before he boarded, and that's why he isn't even attracted to Natasha.

"Excuse me, I need to talk to Bruce," I said, running off to his lab.

When I entered, there was just him in, and he gave me a warm smile, "How can I help you, Izzy?"

"Bruce… I need you to do something... but please don't judge me for it…"

"I promise?" he replied, looking at me confused.

"I need you to find out about Steve's past, before her was frozen… specifically, any love interests…" I cringed, feeling stupid for having to ask for this.

But he didn't say anything, he just tapped at his computer silently, and something started to be printed off, "Peggy Carter." He just stated, before looking at me with sad eyes.

"Who's Peggy?!" I yelled despite knowing that I shouldn't be jealous, I may like him, but Steve is also my friend…

Bruce walked over to the printer and handed me a sheet, which I skimmed over.

I put it down silently, and walked away, wanting to cry, no wonder he loved her, I could never compare to someone as strong as her…

I went to my room and packed up my things, changing my mind, I need to go home today… I can't stay here for one more day with Steve, I can't replace Peggy, I c_an't. _I am just going to get hurt if I stay here, and I just can't get used, abused, and dumped by another man. Especially when they seemed so perfect like Steve…

I dragged my suitcase along the corridors, and I stopped in front of Mr. Fury, who looked at me shocked, I hadn't announced that I wanted to go home earlier than planned, I had just turned up with my belongings.

"I think it's time I go home…" I whispered, trying not to cry. I then reached into my pocket, bringing out a letter that I had decided to write at last minute, "When I go, can you give this to Steve?"

"Of course," he said, taking it off me, "I'll go sort out a copter for you Miss."

I was waiting for Mr. Fury to come back, when I heard my name being called. Everyone was there, Agent Barton, Natasha, Tony, Bruce, and Steve. They must have heard, Mr. Fury must have told them that I'm leaving… I can't believe that I was going to leave without saying goodbye, so I looked down at the ground guiltily for a moment or two.

I went up to Agent Barton first, and shook his hand, "I'm sorry that I never got to know you very well," I said to him, "But I'm very glad to have met you, Agent Barton."

He looked quite sad, even though he hardly knew me, "Please, think of me as Clint, I'm sure that we were that close…" and he pecked me on the cheek. And I made a mental note that whenever I thought of him, he would no longer be thought of as Agent Barton, and would instead be thought of as my friend, Clint.

I then went to Natasha, looking at her gorgeous face and body, and she gave me a hug. "I'm sorry for hating you so much, I really wish I hadn't, you're such a nice person, but I couldn't help but let jealousy get in the way…" I whispered.

And she whispered back: "As did I."

I shot her a confused look for a moment, wondering why she would ever be jealous of me…

Next was Bruce, and I didn't know whether I should just shake his hand or give him a hug, but he held his arms towards me and kissed me softly on the forehead, "I'm sorry to see you go, but I know one day I will see you again."

I didn't want to start any sort of argument at this time, so I just smiled and nodded, allowing him to think that, even though I knew that that would never happen. I hated to make people upset, so I was going to make this effort to not purposefully hurt someone.

I took one look at Tony, and for a moment didn't even feel upset, "I'm keeping the suit," I just said with a smirk, and he winked at me. Even though I hated the fact that Tony was so… mean to Steve, but he was always there for me.

I gave him a hug at last minute, "Please, be nice to him, for me."

He held me out at arm's length, and nodded with a serious face, so I gave him a gratified smile.

Last, was Steve, and when I looked into his eyes, I just wanted to cry and beg him to not let me go. But I took a deep breath, and held out my hand.

He glared down at it, so I put it down at my side; I have really hurt him… I thought, I doubt he'll ever forgive me.

A single tear ran down my face, ad his face broke, stopping the glares, stopping the hate, and instead his eyes started to gleam over with unshed tears.

"Steve…" I whispered, reaching out to him, and he grabbed me into a huge hug, wrapping his arms around my waist.

Underneath the smell of lynx, there was something else…

"You smell so nice," I whispered, and he laughed sadly.

"I put on some more lynx," he explained.

I shook my head, "No, it's not that, it's you, you've always been there, warming, comforting, everything that I needed… I don't know how to cope without that… But I know that I'm going to have to leave…"

I looked at him, and I realised just how much that I couldn't deal with never seeing him again, when he was such a large part of my life, something so important to me… So I promised myself, I would change so that I can see him again, so that I can be suitable for the Avenger's Initiative… I would be the best side of me…

"One day… I'm coming back for that dance that I owe you…" I said, trying not to cry.

He grabbed me even tighter, "But… I'm sorry that I couldn't be Peggy for you…" I whispered to him.

I then broke away, and walked to the copter, and boarded quickly, before I said anything else stupid.

Because the truth was, I really did wish I could have replaced her, I wish he could have loved me, held me, kissed me… but I'm not that type of girl, while she's strong, beautiful, and confident, I was just an awkward, scared, girl, who wasn't going to do anything big with her life…

For now.


	13. Chapter 13 - The Dark Side of Reality

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Avengers or any of the characters from it, I only own my OC Izzy Hart.**

_It's been a long time since I left the home base, so long that I'm starting to feel as if I've lost anything stable in my life. I don't even know how long it has been since I left, all I know is that everything has changed, maybe irreversibly. I hope not, as I don't like the person I have become, the dark things that I have done, just for the chance to do good, to be selfish…No one would love me if they found out how dark my past has now become, no one will care for me, not even the small amount of people that used to a long time ago, that time before everything started to crumble beneath my feet, that time before I fell in love with someone I wouldn't be able to ever see…_

On returning home, everyone knew there was something wrong, and they all seemed concerned. All of my friends were trying to get me to talk constantly, but no one could even make me smile, when it was so easy to be able to before I left. I didn't even acknowledge them, I couldn't hear what they were saying, so I assumed that it wasn't important to me anymore, because if it was my brain would have allowed me to listen. Nothing seems important to me anymore, nothing other than my promise to Steve.

I just sat in the back of all of my classes in silence. No one even knows why I was gone for those few days from college; all they know is that that time had really changed me, that was obvious to class mates and lecturers and people I passed in the corridors. But they must have sensed that they couldn't ask what had happened to me, because no one did. Sadly, no one understood that they shouldn't talk to me, so they kept on talking to me, every time that they could, hoping that I would say at least a few words to them, but I haven't said anything to anyone since I left, not a word, but my voice is only one of the many things that I started to lose when I left.

Another thing that my old friends didn't know was the reason why my clothing changed so much, once I used to wear t-shirts and shorts, never even feeling the cold that much, but now it was baggy jumpers – hiding the suit I wore underneath. The only thing which showed was my gloves, but no one commented on how I always wore them, they must have just assumed that I was starting to feel the cold as Winter was approaching, but I wasn't, in fact these clothes were the most uncomfortable things that I could have had to survive with a straight face. All I wanted was to take off my layers and sit in my suit, letting the cool air wash over me, but I wouldn't make such a statement. These people… they wouldn't understand the power that I control, they wouldn't understand that I just want to be left alone, and would instead obsess over why I have to wear it, how I look, my powers, what I can do… everything. These people can't be my friends anymore, I was just fooling myself into thinking that I was a normal person before, but after my time with others like me, I knew that I would never be properly accepted amongst people so normal.

No one can know my secret; no one can know the power that I now have better control of, it would just ruin everything, I couldn't deal with being judged as different or as a freak by people I used to be so close with, so I won't let them find out the person I have become, and instead I will just focus on changing so that I can become a part of the Avengers Initiative.

My time at college luckily only lasted a few days, because after some thinking to myself and going through the motions needed for it, I realised how I couldn't stay there, it wasn't even needed, what was needed was for my body to be changed, I needed to be stronger, faster, and gain the fighting skills needed for the Avengers Initiative. So I dropped out of college, without any notice to anyone.

My parents, obviously, didn't like this, they yelled, screamed, punished, threatened, and did everything they could to talk me into going back. But ever since I came back from the home base, I just shut off, like being away from everyone at S.H.I.E.L.D… just deadened me to a normal life. So because of this, they didn't even get any reaction, and they were forced to realise just how much I needed to become a part of the Initiative. I feel sorry for them, for having such a messed up daughter, and if I could, I would give up everything to just be a normal child, but just for them. Not for myself, because I love being different, I love being someone special, even if it is only me that perceives myself as special, that is all I need to survive all of the negativity that comes with being like this. I also feel sorry for the fact that I haven't even spoken a word to them since I have arrived, they don't know what happened to me, what I have done, everything that I am trying to achieve, all they know is that they were given a time-bomb of a daughter, and a cheque for the work that I did.

It's in my bank account, but I haven't spent any of it, I don't even know how much I was given for the 'work' that I did at the home base, but it must have been quite a large amount of money judging from my parents faces when they received the cheque. I'll probably just leave it for them when I go back, I don't have any need for it, not now.

After I had dropped out, my parents started to try and figure out why my time with S.H.I.E.L.D had made me give up on any education I may have needed for another job, and they must have realised that it was because I needed to go back there so they told me that they would help me do whatever I needed to do.

I wish I could have been able to open my mouth to tell them, but even when it was something as important as this, my brain wouldn't allow it, so I had to open up internet tabs on the laptop, to show them the various things that I wanted to do. The next day they found various martial arts, yoga, and other instructors to help me get ready for the program. In the back of my mind, I thought it was _too _easy for them to find me these instructors, but I didn't even care that much, they were good, and that is all that I cared about.

One day I'll be good enough, for S.H.I.E.L.D a_nd _Steve.

_The image of all the still, unmoving bodies flood my mind constantly, filling me with a guilt I can hardly take. But I'm stronger than I used to be, or else I would never have been able to do such terrible things to these people… so I will be strong enough to not let the guilt control my life, just as the revenge has done, just as he has done._

In some things, there is only so much that you can be taught, so after a few months, I was left with only one instructor, and I spent a lot of time with him, sometimes staying overnight in the gym so that I can start early for teaching. This was one of the most important things to me, so I focused most of my energy and attention on it.

Sensei Suzuki was a lot different from the other instructors, and he had a strict rule: no music. He had nothing against technology, but he didn't like how much I depended on music to control my emotions, so he banned it, and instead helped me use the yoga and meditation techniques that I learned with my old instructors to help control them instead. That was when another thing was taking away from me, my emotions: now I am a neutral mask, nothing affects me anymore.

However, this wasn't too bad, as one of the perks that I found was that, the more control that I got over my powers and emotions, the more powers started to show. This meant that, even though before I was only able to control lightning, I started to be able to control more weather elements on a small scale, no matter what my emotions are.

After I gained control over my emotions, sensei allowed me to start working on my fighting skills, which was when I would that the most useful weather element that I started to be able to control was wind, as it made my fighting skills improve much quicker than they should have done, as the barrier of gravity did not have as much of an effect on me.

My sensei didn't even question why I was able to do advance moves and flips so quickly, but then again sensei didn't question much, he commanded, he got, and then he left things that he didn't need to know alone. So I used him as an example, and did the same, not questioning anyone on things that I did not need to know, or what is a part of their privacy.

Soon I was easily able to defeat all the other pupils, and the sensei himself, but I still stayed, hoping that I would be able to improve even further, but no such luck, so I was forced to stop going there.

No one from S.H.I.E.L.D turned up to recruit me, so I went out, and tried to see if there was any way for me to improve my powers further, as if they were good enough I would have been seen to by now.

When I left the sensei, I just walked and walked, not even noticing where I was going.

Soon it was night, and that was when I finally realised my surroundings.

I was down some back street that shadows played against, and sounds were echoed against. I wasn't afraid, not even the smallest amount, but I knew that something was wrong.

After a minute, I heard the smallest shuffle of feet behind me, and I didn't hesitate before flipping backwards, catching onto the wall next to me, and looking down at the figure who just tried to attack me.

"What are you doing, sweetheart?" I sneered at him, as he looked up to me in shock, and then after a moment he tried to run away.

I ran along the wall after him and jumped, landing in front of him, stopping him in his tracks, "what?" I said, looking at his frozen body, "scared of a g_irl?"_

He figure, being a huge, buff man, didn't take well to being taunted, so he shook away any shock that he got from seeing me and my nimbleness, and lunged towards me.

He was a lot easier that avoid than anyone that I had fought against, but I knew that I shouldn't let myself get cocky, because he was a lot stronger than they were as well.

Still, despite his strength, I was able to pin him to the floor, unconscious, and got him to the police, retelling how he tried to attack me.

They didn't exactly believe that _I _was able to knock such a strong man unconscious, but that was when a figure appeared at the station door, explaining how he saw the whole thing – it was the Director… I was going back.

**Steve Rogers:**

I've counted every day since she left, holding her promise close to my heart, but I couldn't help but feel disappointed as the months went by and she still hadn't returned. I started to drown myself in work, not communicating with anyone, just doing whatever it is that I was told to do by the Director. I suppose I should have started to hate the person I had become, but I didn't care about that either.

The seconds tick by slowly, and even though I felt like I had no energy – like ever since Izzy left my life was drained away – I still fought.

Once upon a time I would have found it enjoyable, something good, helping all these innocent people, but it wasn't anymore, nothing positive to me anymore. Everything is neutral.

Doctor Banner and Stark have been treating me so differently since Izzy left, I don't know if she said something to them, but if she did, I wasn't sure if I was grateful for it.

I was glad that Stark has changed, without having Izzy around to help calm me when he made inappropriate or rude comments; I knew I wouldn't even be able to take it. But how cheerful he acted, along with Doctor Banner, was really starting to annoy me. I wish they would just understand that without Izzy here, I have no reason to show the true side of myself, and instead am just staying focused on my duty.

So after realising just how much I couldn't spend time around them unless we were working, I spent my days in the gym, and the nights in my room, looking over the note that I was given after Izzy had left.

Every time that I read it, I swear my heart breaks a little. I wish she was back here, even just for a minute, for me to explain away all the fantasies she seems to think are reality.

I don't know how she found out about Peggy, but how can she not realise how much more suited for me she is than Peggy? Where Peggy was strong, and focused on work, Izzy was fun, and even though she cared deeply about helping others, she was still able to bring joy to other people, still able to join people together in friendship.

I knew Izzy was an open person, but I never knew that she would have trusted me this much. Inside the letter that she left, was her past, every bad situation that framed her fears and issues. She wasn't looking for sympathy, if she was she would have told me this while she was here to get it first-hand, she must have just felt like she had to explain herself better than saying she was used, abused, and then dumped for a better version.

Sometimes, instead of wishing she was here, I remember how I almost kissed her. I have replayed that moment in my head countless times, almost as if I was afraid that I would forget it. But how could I? It was still so vivid to me.

For a long time I didn't understand why, straight after this kiss, she acted as if I had feelings for Agent Romanoff. But then one day, while reading her letter again, I thought about how I hadn't even told her my feelings, thought about how often she had been used for things that people really shouldn't do outside of relationships, and then thrown away when she wouldn't give it, and I realised that that is how she must have perceived our almost kiss, as just another guy trying to get her to do things without having to be with her.

But I do want to be with her. No one has affected me this badly. Even Peggy, she just took a month or so to get over, it has been a lot longer than that since I said goodbye to Izzy, and my feelings have not changed at all, I still loved her, and because of that I knew that I had to be with her - for as long as I can.

She took my heart with her when she left… I really hope she comes back with it soon.


	14. Chapter 14 - Changing

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Avengers or any of the characters from it, I just own my OC Izzy Hart**

A lot of things could have happened in this moment, he could have just been in the neighbourhood and actually did just see what I had done, he might have come to tell me that I would ever be able to come back, he could be here to do many different things… But I _knew_ that he was here to take me back because I had finally completed the task of being good enough for S.H.I.E.L.D. I suppose I should be feeling something to do with happiness right now… but I wasn't. I couldn't when I hardly feel any emotion at all.

With the Director here, the time at the police station was short, and the man who attacked me was safely behind bars so that he cannot try and hurt anyone else, so I didn't have much to worry about. So we were sent on our way from the police once we made our statements, and the first thing that the Director said to me was, "I suppose that you have already figured out why I am here, Miss Hart."

I didn't want to sound like I was jumping to conclusions, but after a short pause I tried to say what was on my mind, "Am… Am…" I struggled to say anything, my brain still telling me that I couldn't speak (which I hadn't done for a long time - excluding the alley way and the station)

He simply nodded, ignoring the difficulty I was having with being able to speak, and gestured that I should walk with him, and we arrived at a copter that was similar to the one that I went on last time I got taken to the home base.

"I have taken the duty of telling your parents where you will be going, so we can now go straight to the base." He said to me, before going on board.

"Yes... sir." I nodded, reminding myself that I have to be more respectful than I used to be, or else this opportunity might be taken away from me again. Also, I wasn't blind to the dislike that the Director had for me, because If I was respectful back then, I would have had been given opportunities like saying goodbye to Jules before she went to Asgard.

For a long time I hated the Director for not allowing me to say goodbye to her, after all I had just helped stop one of the biggest threats on the Earth, but when I controlled my emotions, my hatred towards him stopped as well.

I boarded the copter, and sat down silently, without saying anything to anyone, I needed to think over what was going to happen when I got to home base, because I felt nothing about the Directors presence, and I wasn't even excited about seeing everyone else that I knew and once loved, so I needed to figure out if this was just a shock reaction, or if my feelings were really gone for good.

I sat in silence for the whole ride, thinking about many things, and if anyone on board the copter did try to talk to me, I couldn't hear them, and therefore didn't reply.

Today was the first time, since I left the home base, that I had talked. The situations that I had talked in had various levels of difficulty - when I was fighting against the brute of a man in that alley, it seemed so easy to let the words slip off my tongue, but after that, it was difficult to utter even the smallest of sentences. But still, it was improvement, especially as it had seemed like I had lost my speech forever.

I then started to think about what my time will be like on the home base, and how people would react to seeing me. I know it was going to hurt Steve to see me with this lack of emotion, but after the childish and pathetic letter that I had sent him, I doubt that he will even want to be in my presence anyway. Still, I wish there was a way for me to feel the positive emotions in life, a_nd _to be able to have a control over the negative ones and my power, but if I try… there's a possibility that all my work will be undone…

I know, that somewhere underneath the chains I have covering my emotions, I still care for Steve, and that I might even still… _love _him. But I have no need to even show those emotions anymore, because once he read what my past has been, my hopes, my dreams, and a lot of my feelings towards him - excluding the main one of me loving him – he definitely won't be wanting to spend time with me any time soon, in fact he probably spent a lot of his time while I was gone bitching about me to Agent Romanoff.

One of the many other things that I thought about was the sensei. Even though he hated the way that music controls my emotions, he didn't have anything against technology, and one morning when I arrived, he was still eating his breakfast and was watching the news. That was one of the few moments that my emotions showed then, because on the screen, was Steve, helping the innocent, fighting 'bad guys', etc., with all the other Avengers, and I couldn't take it, so as I flung a plate at the T.V. screen – smashing it. The sensei never did replace his T.V, and I never offered to, and of course – as it was sensei – we didn't talk about what happened, he just knew that I couldn't deal with seeing them. This thought actually gave me a little hope, one of the first emotions that I have felt in a long time, so I clung onto it. I was hopeful because, if in the past the presence of them was able to stir an emotion in me, maybe seeing them will also, I just also hope that it won't let loose all of the powers that I have such good control of.

We arrived after some time, and nothing had changed from the last time I was here, causing me to smile a little. We were handed gas masks before we got off the copter, as the home base was in the air, and walked inside before taking them off.

No one that I recognised was inside.

"If you'll follow me," the Director said, before walking away through the corridors that I still remembered well, even after all of this time.

We walked past doors, and breaks in the corridors, and even Doctor Banner's lab, but I still didn't see anyone that I Director must have noticed me looking around restlessly, so he clarified for me that they were in New York, as there was some trouble that they had to sort out, and he kept on leading me down even more corridors, taking me to my old room.

"We have kept it the same, on the off chance that you would be returning." He turned around and was about to leave me when he paused, "Is there anything that you will need us to collect from your home? You will have the basics clothes and toiletries that we supply already in your room."

I shook my head before entering my room; I don't need anything anymore other than me and my suit. I stopped having materialistic things a long time ago, I don't have a phone, I don't need any other clothes than my suit, and I don't wear things like makeup anymore because I don't care what anyone thinks about my appearance.

I looked around at all the 'basics' that I was supplied with, and there was a lot more things than I expected there to be. I was even supplied with a hairdryer and brush, which, although I don't care about my appearance, would be useful, as - if my hair is styled a certain way - it doesn't get in my face when I am fighting, and therefore I will do better.

Soon after entering it, I realised that there was nothing much that I can do in my room, so I went to the gym to practice my fighting skills; however, there was already some people inside. I was about to turn around when I heard them yelling at me to stop.

"Are you Izzy Hart?" the oldest of them asked. I nodded, "The Director has hired us to help you with your fighting skills," he explained, looking me up and down critically, as if he didn't understand why they would have to help train such a small girl, who doesn't look like she could protect herself.

I did the same for them, assessing how difficult it will be to defeat them. They were all males, all of average height, and very strong, but they were cocky; you could tell that from the way that they held themselves, so I smiled to myself.

I stepped onto the mat that had been laid in the middle of the floor, and spread my feet out while I looked at the first of the men in front of me. He looked around to his friends, laughing to himself because he thought that it would be easy to defeat me.

"Wanna take off those boots, sweetheart?" he asked in a thick drawl, and I grimaced at him.

When I didn't reply, he shrugged, and spread his bare feet out on the mat, obviously thinking that this will mean that he will have better grip or that it will be easier to move around in instead of high heeled boots like me.

One of the other men who were watching yelled that it was time to start, and the man facing me rushed towards me. I did a simple flip over his body, doing what looks like a forward roll in the air, and landed, crouched, behind him, and then I used my leg to swing against his - while he started to turn towards me - so that he fell flat on his face.

I flipped backwards into an upright, standing position, and stood, preparing myself for if he bothered to stand up, which he did.

This time he decided not to rush straight at me, and stood trying to assess which side to attack, thinking that that will be one of my vulnerable places. He decided for my left side, but I saw it coming so I moved out the way in a smooth motion, before swinging my leg into his once again, but this time he hit the ground so hard that he was unable to make himself stand up in a sufficient amount of time, and so I was the winner.

This went on for many other men, and they were all as simple as the last, feeling bull-headed, and believing that they would be able to use their strength to defeat me.

The oldest of the men sat laughing at them throughout, making comments on how idiotic they were for just using they're strength, but even though that this indicated that he knew that he shouldn't do this, and therefore he may be a bit more difficult to defeat, I was still unfazed by the fight.

There was only one time that he was able to even lay a hand on me , and that was when I was turning around from one of my flips. When I did this, he grabbed me from behind, trapping my arms by my sides, so I bent my legs, resting my feet against his knees, and kicked hard enough so that he let go to stumble back, and so that I did a forward roll in the air. Part way through this, I grabbed one of his shoulders, and hung upside down, letting my weight bring him onto his back, and I then slowly let myself descend down.

When I did this, I heard some clapping in the background, and when my feet rested onto the mat again, I looked at the silhouette stood in the gym doorway. The figure started to step forward, and a small amount of glee actually went through me: it was Agent Barton. However, this glee was only a small amount, so I still walked over with a straight face, before shaking his hand.

"Looks like you're one of us Agents now, Izzy, what did you study, Judo, Karate?" he replied, gripping my hand slightly tighter.

I grimaced, trying to force myself to speak, but all I was able to get out was a slow "C-linttt…"

I pouted while looking at me, but he didn't say anything, and instead gestured for me to follow him, so I did so, and we walked the corridors in silence.

I started to think about how I was able to feel something when I saw Agent Barton, and also how I called him Clint, taking it as a good sign, as none of my powers had gone unstable, I was still able to feel something positive - even if it was a miniscule amount -, and I was able to feel a little bit of friendship that I had with him before I left before.

"Miss Hart," I heard the Director say, breaking me out of my thoughts, so I looked at him silently.

I was then able to force a small, "sir…" out, and he looked at me, before turning to Clint.

"As you know, Agent Barton," he said, "We have been keeping tabs on Miss Hart's progress, and have noticed a few things, one is the excessive control over her emotions that she now has, and her difficulty with speech. In fact, up until today, she hadn't talked in over 9 months."

"So there's been some improvement?"

The Director nodded, "Yes, her speech loss started when she left the home base, so that should explain why things that link to S.H.I.E.L.D are starting to bring back her speech."

They both started to walk away, discussing my speech, but I wanted to hear their theories on it, because maybe they will be able to figure out a way to help bring it properly back, so I hurried after them, "However, today there was an incident in a backstreet," the Director told Clint, paying no attention to the fact that I was tagging along, "and she was able to speak full sentences fluently then, so there must be some connection between that…"

"I…" I started, wanting to tell them that I felt like I _needed _to speak at that moment, and that I try to and want to speak on many occasions, but it's almost as if my brain doesn't allow it, but of course, I couldn't , and only a few words were let out, which wouldn't have made any sense to them.

"Brain?" the Director turned towards me, and gave Clint a worried look, "Maybe we should get her to have a brain scan, to see if there is anything wrong there."

I started to panic a little, they were taking what I tried to say wrong, that isn't what I meant, there's nothing wrong with my brain, surely. I haven't even knocked my head, so there couldn't be…

Clint shook his head, looking at me, "No, I don't think that will be the cause of it… can you write down what you meant?"

I nodded my head vigorously: _happy. _In such a short amount of time I have been feeling more emotions than I have since I left, and nothing bad has happened yet.

"I thought that you said that she had an excessive control over her emotions, Director?" he said, when it was obvious that I was happy at this suggestion

My face twisted in concentration as I tried to tell them about my emotions, and Clint noticed, "On paper." He said to me, and he rushed off to get some.

When I received it, I wrote down about how, at certain times, I am unable to hear or say things that seem unimportant to me, how I have been unable to feel emotions until I had seen Clint - as he is someone I was close to before I left, and my worry that if I allow myself to set my emotions free, I'll lose all progress with my powers.

Both Clint and Director read over what I wrote a few times, "I think we need to take her to be examined by Dr. Banner, he will be able to make a connection," the Director said, and they both lead me to him.

I made a quick connection between Clint arriving at the gym, meaning that everyone must have arrived back from new York, so I kept my eyes open on the way to the lab, but I still didn't see anyone else that I recognised.

I was happy when I saw Bruce, but I couldn't help but cringe at his reaction when he saw me, and rushed out things that I couldn't even try to reply to. I did try though, but I don't even know if he heard my muffled, random words because the Director started to explain to him what I had written, and his look of joy changed into a critical one, as he looked at me, before sitting me next to one of his computers.

When I first met Bruce, I worried that he was going to experiment on me to find out about my powers, and now it turned out that we _needed _him to do this, because it might be the only way that I will ever fully regain my speech, and it may help us find out whether letting my emotions free will ruin any progress that I have made with the control that I have over my powers.

I must have spent hours there, but finally Bruce looked up from the computer with a smile, and patted me on the shoulder, before going over to the Director to discuss his findings.

I didn't dare take off the sticky circles from my temples in case the computer was doing something, but I really wanted to know what Bruce had found out, so much so that I was able to call his name out.

All three heads turned towards me, and I called to Bruce again, sounding a little hoarse, but it was a little bit easier than when I did it the first time.

He came back over and dragged a chair in front of mine, before leaning over and taking off all the wires and things that connected me to the computers. While he did this he started to talk about his findings: ," although there isn't any _damage _to the brain, there is a slight different in it, which may explain why you are having speech difficulties. However, certain things made it start to look more normal, such as the sound of my voice, photos of people you recognise, or when I made you think of the occurrence that happened last night in the back street. Although I can't be 100% positive about it, it seems as you created such a w_ant _to become a part of the Initiative, that your brain started to shut down anything that it felt wasn't needed to help you, such as speaking to those who have no part to do with the program, or feeling anything towards or because of people, so what I think is that if you continue to try and talk to these people and spend time with them, they both will return."

I felt quite relieved to hear this, I had so many things that I wanted to say to people, and I wanted to feel as happy as I used to be, but before I got carried away, I stopped myself, because I still knew nothing about whether letting my emotions completely free will do anything to my control over my powers.

"Bruceeeee…" I almost hissed as I tried to say it.

"Go slowly," he said, looking at me eagerly, "Just one word at a time."

I swallowed and took in a few deep breathes, "What… abooouttt… m-m-myyyy… cooontrolll… oooove-er… m-myy… powersssss…?" I finally got out, feeling a little proud of myself for being able to do a complete sentence.

I beamed at me for a second, then laughed at himself, "oh yes, sorry, I forgot to mention that. There seems to be no connection at all between your emotions and your powers anymore, so there is no need to worry about whether or not they will affect them."

I started to laugh with happiness, and I let the emotions free, tears running down my face. I grabbed Bruce into a fierce hug, and did my weird little mixture of laughing and crying into his shoulder, while he patted my back, "Thank… you" I murmured.

He held me out straight in his arms and looked at me, "See! You're getting better with your speech already!"

We started to laugh with each other for a while, but it didn't last long, as I heard, "Izzy!?" being yelled from the door of the lab.

I turned around, and there Steve was, and I felt as if all my progress was undone. Everything that I had accomplished since I left and in just this moment, and I felt like the pathetic girl again with tears in her eyes.

He sat blinking at me, as if he was waiting for me to reply, so I tried to force one out, but being nervous about seeing him, mixed with still having difficulty with speaking, meant that no words at all would come out.

"Maybe you should leave," Clint said, turning towards him in what looked like anger, and I started to panic, had something happened with Steve, and is that why everyone is glaring at him?

"No." he said in a stiff, no-nonsense-tone.

He started to walk over to me, and stood next to Bruce with his hands on his hips, and a scowl on his face, he obviously wasn't happy about me being here.

"Aren't you going to say anything!?" he snapped after a while of silence, and I scrunched up my face as I tried to force myself to say something.

Bruce started to shake me, "Take it easy Izzy! _Breathe!"_

I took a deep, shaky breath, feeling my face cool down a bit, and looked at Bruce, looking for help.

"Come on, Izzy," he smiled, "You can do it, even just one word, just breathe slowly, and don't push yourself too hard."

I did what he said, and was finally able to let out a little, "Steve…"

"Is that it?" he snapped at me, looking down at me as if I was worthless, "All this time away from me, driving me mad from missing me, and all you say to me is my _name!?"_

Bruce stood up, "I think it's time you left, Mr Rogers. We don't want you ruining Izzy's speech progress any further," and he started to shove him away.

"Speech progress?" he asked a bit softer, "you mean she can't…"

"No." Bruce snapped, and he continued to shove him out of the lab, but before he left he looked at me, his eyes and face as soft as I remembered them being, "I'm so sorry, Izzy…" I mumbled, causing me to burst into tears.

He ran over, shoving Bruce out of the way and grabbed me into a tight hold, "I'm so sorry Izzy, I'm so sorry, I never meant to change…" he mumbled into my hair.

"Neither did I…" I let out, and it was almost fluent except from the small sniffs that came from me crying.

He smiled at me slightly, obviously proud that I was able to speak a little more, "I'll never change again, I promise, as long as you don't leave me."

I clutched tighter to him, all my feelings rushing back, "Don't let them… t-take mee…" I stumbled out.

"I'll protect you…" he whispered back, kissing me on the head, and it felt like I had never even gone.


	15. Chapter 15 - Lightning

We clung to each other for a long time, not paying any attention to what was happening around us. I had missed Steve so much, even though I hated myself for doing it, I hated my feelings for him even more, because there will only be this close friendship between us. I never did have much luck when it came to love, so of course the world wasn't going to make an exception for Steve.

I wish I could speak more, because I needed to know why he was still talking to me after that letter that I wrote for him, I had just assumed that he'd think I'm pathetic and want nothing to do with me… but I guess I'm just going to have to wait for longer to see why he didn't react like that.

After a while I moved out of his embrace, and started to laugh at my stupidity. All my emotions were being extreme, probably because I had had them locked up for so long.

Steve looked at me confused, and I just kept on laughing, wiping away my tears, and looked at Bruce, who eyes were a little creased with humour, as if he knew what I was finding so funny when even I didn't know.

He walked over, passing a little glare to Steve, that stopped my laughing instantly, "Don't…" I warned, starting to feel a little annoyed at the way that everyone has been treating Steve, had it been like this all of the time that I was gone?

Steve of course, was clueless, and looked between me and Bruce – trying to figure out what was going on, but when he couldn't, he just shrugged it off, as if he didn't even care.

Bruce nodded guiltily, "I think it's fair to say," he said, trying to change the atmosphere, "that your emotions are going to be a little extreme for a while, because they have been held in for such a long time."

I nodded thoughtfully at him, and Steve looked at me a little sadly, "I know so little about what happened to you," he whispered.

I looked at Bruce, trying to urge him to explain to Steve everything, but he just raised his eyebrows and shook his head, "You need to learn how to speak fluently, Izzy."

I sighed to myself in frustration, once I got past the joy of being able to speak; I hated it, because I sounded like an unintelligent fool. But then again, it was a lot easier to talk to Steve, so hopefully this would mean that I wouldn't make too much of a fool of myself.

"I… shut off my… emotions…" I started, one of the biggest difficulties being that I didn't know what words I could say, "when I… left… and they only just… returned…" I paused, and looked at Steve who was looking at me encouragingly, "and… I couldn't… speak… also…"

Bruce patted me on the shoulder, "You're doing great, stop worrying."

I nodded slightly, and took a big breath, before rushing out everything, "I didn't speak or feel anything since I left, but Bruce found out that that was because I was so focused on become good enough to come back here that my brain shut off things that it felt like I didn't need, and they have only started to come back because I have been around people or things that I found linked to the Avengers Initiative. And then I was worried that letting my emotions free would destroy any progress I had with controlling my powers, but Bruce said that I had destroyed any connection between them and my emotions, so I let them free, and now I'm so emotional." I took a deep breath, and everyone looked at me with wide, pleased eyes, but I just felt like I wanted to cry, "Oh, God, I missed you so much, Steve," and I let out a little sob.

"Oh, Izzy," Steve murmured, resting his hand on my cheek and stroking it softly with his thumb, "You wouldn't understand just how much I missed you too…"

I turned around to see who else was in the room, but it was only Steve and Bruce, as Clint and the Director must have left sometime earlier, "Where's Tony?" I asked, turning back around.

Bruce didn't seem to know, but just shrugged, "I'm sure he'll be here soon enough, especially if he hears that you're back"

"Okay," I nodded, and we were left in awkward silence, as none of us seemed to know what to say now, but luckily Tony appeared quite soon.

"Oh, looky _here_, Thunder girl is back!" he exclaimed.

I stood up with a grin on my face and gave him a tight hug, "Been looking after yourself, Metal Man?" I asked, looking at the scratches covering his face with raised eyebrows, but his own eyebrows raised a little too when he heard the difficulty I was having with my speech. At least I only had a little bit of slurring now that I stopped worrying about what words to say.

He laughed roughly, and rubbed his forehead, "Been a bit busy looking after other people, who, _by the way,_ are hardly grateful for it," he said, reminded me of the promise he made for me of looking after Steve.

I put my hand on his shoulder and gave him an apologetic look, "Well at least I'm here now, so you don't have those duties anymore. But thank you, it means a lot to me…"

"Thank god!" he grinned, giving Steve a little wink, "For a Capcicle, he has a lot of heated rage that I'd prefer not to have to deal with anymore," he then turned to me a little more seriously, "And it's fine, needed to try and make you leaving a little easier for him," he whispered, "it was really difficult for all of us, but he took it a lot worse."

I looked towards Steve, confused, "Are we on about the same person here?"

"He was one moody teenager when you left."

I felt a little shy smile tug at my lips, and flushed a little. Tony noticed this and gave me a little nudge and a wink, "Maybe we should give these two some time to properly reunite Doctor?"

"Hmmm…" Bruce just said in reply, looking suspiciously at Steve, as if he didn't trust him anymore.

"_Bruce…" _I hissed at him, making him stop, and look at me for a moment, before shrugging and walking out with Tony without a single word.

Steve and I looked at each other for a while, and Steve held out his arms, "Don't I get a proper greeting now?" he smirked, and I rushed over to him and held him incredibly tightly, as if my life depended on it. Which, if I was to be honest with myself, it did, because I just missed him so much, and the time away from him just affected me so badly…

When I let go, I looked up at him with a huge smile on my face, and just took in how adorable, and handsome he is. While I was doing this he wrapped his arms slowly around my waist, and there was suddenly a sizzling atmosphere between us.

My eyes widened a little bit unwillingly. And he looked down at me confused, obviously not feeling the same as I was, "What's wrong?"

I blushed incredible amounts and looked down, "nothing…" I mumbled.

He wrapped his arms even tighter around me, so I looked back up to him with a small smile, and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, "you wouldn't believe how much I missed you…" I sighed sadly.

He looked at me for a long time, like he understood how I felt, when suddenly his eyes flashed with excitement, "You still owe me a dance…" he said softly.

I laughed a little, "I don't have any music anymore, my sensei banned it…" I explained with a little shrug, even though it was hardly an explanation, I hadn't told Steve all the things that I did while I was away...

Steve seemed to think for a little while, "Oh well, we'll just do it without."

He started to start to step forward, but I panicked a little and stepped away – letting go of him, "I can't dance…"

He smirked and grabbed hold of me tight enough so that I didn't bother trying to get free again, "neither can I," he smirked, and stepped forward again, going slow so that I didn't stumble or anything.

I looked up to him with a huge smile on my face, and he spun me around in a small circle, "I'm dancing," I laughed, and he laughed with me.

We continued like this for a while, and broke away with Steve doing an exaggerated bow towards me, "Thank you ma'am."

I did a courtesy, "You are most welcome, s_ir."_

After a small silence, I decided that it was time to talk to him about the letter, so I cleared my throat, "Steve, can we talk about something…?"

"Anything," he replied, reaching towards my hands.

I moved them away, knowing that as soon as I spoke what was on my mind he would just let go of them anyway, and sat on a nearby table. So Steve brought a chair over and sat down, looking a little worried.

"Why are you even… talking to me?" I got out after a little while, feeling so embarrassed for having to bring up the letter.

"What are you talking about? There's nothing that would stop me talking to you?"

"Steve… the letter…" I reminded him.

He looked at me frozen for a little while, and I couldn't even tell what he was feeling, so I started to panic a little, worrying that he had forgotten about it, and the fact that I was reminding him of it would cause him to not want to spend any more time in my presence.

I started to stand up, "Forget I said anything," I said, my voice shaking with nervousness, and I went to flee out of the room, not wanting to face the embarrassment anymore, but he grabbed hold of my hand – stopping me.

"Why would you think that something like that letter would mean that I wouldn't want to talk to you anymore?" he asked with a serious face. I didn't like him when he looked like this, he looked so… annoyed.

"Who would want to when I showed the pathetic side of me, and showed all my insecurities… when I wrote down your own feelings for you to read, as if you didn't even know them…"

"Those weren't even my feelings."

I looked at his straight face, still worrying because he looked quite mad at me, "Those… fantasies… that you created have tormented me for so long, and I hated myself for letting you think that they were true." He closed his eyes for a little, but then he looked at me and I thought I saw a little sadness in his eyes, "I don't know where you learned about Peggy, but my feelings for her… stopped a very long time ago, and I certainly have none for Agent Romanoff… It just frustrates me how blind you are…"

I flinched a little, not wanting to be upset by that, but I couldn't help but be, "blind? Says the man who was so blind to everything I was feeling at a time when all my emotions were practically written on my forehead…" I sighed sadly to myself, "but I suppose I'm glad, saved me a lot of embarrassment…"

But I started to feel that embarrassment right now, because I had just done one of the most obvious hints at my feelings. I covered my mouth in shock, and Steve's eyes also showed how shocked he was too, but he started to do a half smile/ laugh, "Izzy…"

I let out a little squeak, and ran out of the room before he could reject me. I couldn't believe that he had just laughed at me… I had pictured him rejected me so many times, but it's Steve… I always imagined him being kind about it, but this was so much worse…

**Steve Rogers:**

I would have said that this was one of the best days that I've had in a very long time, until this moment. Izzy practically just told me that she had feelings for me, and I started to laugh with shocked happiness, but she must have taken that as me laughing _at _her, so she fled out of the room.

I hit my forehead with the heel of my hand, feeling incredibly stupid. I had just ruined what could possibly have been one of the most perfect moments in my life.

I knew that there was no point in running after Izzy, she was a lot faster than me, she would probably lock herself in her room, and I doubt anyone would appreciate me breaking another door…

Stark poked his head around the door with a grin, "How's the missus?" he prodded.

I looked over to him sadly, knowing not to take my anger at myself out on him – it wasn't his fault that I'm an idiot, "I always mess everything up…" I mumbled.

He must have heard, even though I said it very quietly, because he came over and sat next to me, "Nothing is irreversible, I'm sure whatever happened can be sorted out…" I looked at him again, with a sad smile on my face, "Come on," he patted my shoulder, "we have some work to do anyway."

We were sent on our way to some place called Gotham City, and Izzy was in the copter with all of us – as she is a part of the Avengers now -, but she forced herself into deep conversation with Agent Barton. I tried to start a conversation with others too, trying to distract myself from her, but I couldn't help but notice her excitement when she found out where we were going.

"So, we're going to see _Batman!?"_

Agent Barton laughed a little, and stretched his legs, "Probably. It seems like there is too much trouble happening over there for just him to cope with, so we were called over."

She grinned, "I really hope we do get to see him"

And that we did, as soon as we landed he was there standing silently in a thick, leather suit and cape. In my own opinion he looked ridiculous, but Izzy seemed to be awing over his costume, and I was also in a costume, so I couldn't say anything…

"What's happening here?" Agent Romanoff asked after she got off the copter.

Batman nodded towards a tall building across from us, "Two Face," he said with a low, husky voice, "has captives at the top of there, and we need to get them down, but if anyone so much as tries there is a huge risk that they will be killed."

When this was said, there was a huge change in Izzy: her body stiffened, he face straightened, and she just generally let out a serious aura. I had heard that she got a lot of training while she was gone, but I didn't know how much of a… soldier she would have become. Her mind was obviously focused on the problem since it was mentioned, and looking at her eyes you could tell that she was calculating something in her mind. I actually felt a little pride when I watched her, she had grown so much, but she was still the same Izzy.

"Okay, we need a plan of action," I said, gathering everyone around, focusing on the problem myself, but whenever I tried to discuss any possibilities, Izzy's whole attention was on the top of the building. Even though I was proud of her for being so intrigued by the problem, I needed her to listen because we couldn't solve it if we didn't work together.

"Izzy," I snapped, and I felt guilty as soon as it exited my mouth. She looked over to me, almost lazily, and my tone seemed to not have affected her at all, luckily, and she just looked back at the building again, her mouth pouting with thought.

She then walked over to the building, and snapped her fingers, causing a cloud to form underneath her, and it carried her upwards. I felt a shocked breath exit my mouth, and I watched what she did, instead of acting like I should have. After a while, the cloud stopped, where Two Face must be positioned, and it stayed there for some time. I started to walk forwards, looking up in disbelief, was she _talking _to him?

"What is she d_oing?_" Batman said disapprovingly, and although I knew that her just rushing off without a plan was quite idiotic, I couldn't stand someone else thinking negatively about her, so I turned towards him.

"She is _very _persuasive; she'll be able to stop anyone from getting hurt."

He looked at me with a glare, "Just being persuasive isn't anything special… She's putting everyone at risk, and for what? To show off to us?"

"Actually," Izzy said, lowering down with an unconscious Two Face beside her on a thunder cloud, "I'm pretty sure that I'm the only one here that would be able to actually get up to the top without being noticed beforehand, except maybe Tony, so I was the only one that could do something affective."

**Izzy Hart:**

I looked at the towering building, thinking about all the different things that I could do on my own. I just needed to go up to see how many captives there were, which would decide whether or not I'd rescue them first, or if I should focus my attention on the Two Face guy. I know that, now I am a part of a team, I shouldn't do this on my own, but there is only two of us that can fly, and Tony can be a little cocky, so there's a huge risk that he will be unable to save the captives, but I have a much better chance, because I have powers of persuasion.

"Izzy," Steve snapped at me, and I slowly looked at him, they were all trying to create some plan of action, it would be so much easier if I just did it on my own… I thought to myself.

I turned my attention back to the building, hoping that I wouldn't annoy too many people by doing this on my own, and snapped my fingers so that a dark thunder cloud would form under my feet, and crouched down as it took me up to the top of the building.

There, there was a man who had half a bright pink, scarred face, and he cackled at me when he saw me, grabbing onto one of two hostages, "Want to move closer? I'm sure they'll love to have a last minute flying lesson."

I smiled slowly, stretching out on my cloud lazily acting as if I wasn't bothered at all by what is happening. If my assessing was right, which it always is, he will easily be distracted if I showed him some… attention… he is a man after all, so I replied to him with a purr, "how can I show you my adoration _properly _from all the way over here_?"_

He let go of the man he was holding, and moved closer to the banister, "_Adoration?_" he grinned, exactly, my assessing was _always _right.

"Oh yes," I said, moving closer, and cupping his face, "I just a_dore _how bad you can be…" he chuckled at this, and reached towards my own face.

But before he could say anything, I flipped off my cloud, and knocked him over onto the floor. His body didn't move when he hit it, but he was breathing, so I knew that he was just knocked unconscious, "Don't panic," I said, turning my attention to the hostages, "You'll be brought down soon," and then I slung Two Face's body onto my cloud and went back down to everyone waiting on the ground.

I was just about to apologise for rushing off when I heard Steve and Batman talking about who I _assumed_ to be me, "Just being persuasive isn't anything special…" Batman said, "She's putting everyone at risk, and for what? To show off to us?"

"Actually," I replied, before Steve could do a bitchy reply back, and as I landed onto the ground and before I stepped off my cloud, "I'm pretty sure that I'm the only one here that would be able to actually get up to the top without being noticed beforehand, except maybe Tony, so I was the only one that could do something affective"

He looked a little surprised to see me down so quickly, and with an unconscious Two Face – who the police quickly took and presumably went to take him to jail and to get the hostages – but he didn't look at all impressed, "Has no one told you the values of teamwork?"

I looked at him with raised eyebrows, "Says the man that is famous for working on his own?" I shook my head a little sadly, "You know that I was the most suited for the job, you're just pissed off because you couldn't be the main hero this time…"

He pouted, and went off grumbling a little. He really wasn't someone to get excited over after all, he was just another pissed off male, who couldn't accept it when someone was better than him at something.

I went over to everyone else, "I'm sorry for rushing off, guys," I stated a little sheepishly, I actually care about what they think about me, "I know that we're supposed to work together, it's just that… I don't know… I was in my fighting mode, and I just trusted my instincts…"

Everyone looked like they were about to speak at once, but the only one that started was Clint, "You'd have done better than any of us could have any way," he smirked and put his arm around me in a friendly way, "and if you don't trust your instinct, then a lot of problems start to unfold."

Everyone gave little nods of agreement, whether they w_anted _to agree or not, and I gave a small smile back.

Steve looked at me with a cross pout, but I couldn't meet his eyes still, not after he laughed at me earlier, so it wasn't as effective as he would have wanted it to be. Instead, I chose to continue to ignore him; after all, he wasn't the kind person that I thought he was, so he'd probably give me a bollocking for going, even though there wasn't exactly anything that he could have done to help the hostages when they were so high up.

"Well…" I murmured, looking towards everyone other than Steve, "Batman wasn't what I imagined him to be like, bit of a moody bastard."

Tony laughed a little at this, and started to go on about how he was just an overrated, flying rat, and that he couldn't stand when someone did his job better than he could, "he just doesn't want to share the limelight," he said with a smirk.

"I suppose not," I replied, "but the 'limelight' isn't exactly paying attention to us," I nodded towards to the crowds of reporters and people with cameras who were crowding around Batman, but all ofg a sudden the mass turned their heads towards us.

Tony gave me a raised eyebrow and another smirk, "Don't speak too quickly," he replied, before they all started to rush over and crowded around me solely.

They all asked a mass of questions that I could hardly distinguish from each other, so I just looked one of the cameras pointed straight at me with shock written all over my face.

A woman with brown ringlets forced her way through the crowd, "Miss, how does it feel to save Gotham City from Two Face?"

"Err…" I looked at the microphone that she shoved in front of me, "I haven't exactly had much time to think about that…" I laughed.

She laughed a little too, it was one of those small chuckles, as if she was one of those women who were afraid to let out a proper one because they were worried they'd look unattractive, "What's your name, dear?"

"Well… We're the Avengers…" I said, nodding towards everyone else, and the camera man focused a little on them, until the woman next to me shook her head, and then he focused it solely on me again.

"No!" she did her little chuckle again, "What's _your _name?"

"Um… I don't have one…" I said, assuming that she meant some sort of a superhero name. And of course I didn't have one, I didn't expect to need one after all.

"You must have one…" she prompted, and I stood a little dumbstruck, trying to think of something that didn't sound lame, but I just shrugged and gave up.

"I suppose you could just call me Lightning…"

"_Lightning," _she said excitedly, "Hear that people of Gotham? _Lightning _has come to s_hock _the world!" she let out another chuckle, and went off to talk to the camera on her own.

I just turned back to look at the rest of the team, with a little confused look, "What just happened?" I asked, and Natasha came over and put her arm around me.

"People love a good pretty face to idolise," she replied, and I laughed at how absurd she sounded, because if that was the case, they should have focused on _her._

I shook my head laughing a little, and walked with her back on board the copter, and sat down silently.

"Lightning…" I whispered to myself with a little smile, that seemed to fit me well…


	16. Chapter 16 - Taking Risks

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Avengers or any of the characters in it, I only own my OC Izzy Hart. Also, sorry if this chapter annoys anyone, but I didn't like how the Loki and Jules romance ended so openly, so I'm going to add a bit more story to that. Also, if you don't like it, tough, it's my story and I have planned what's going to happen and I'm going to write about whatever makes me happy.**

**Steve Rogers:**

The ride back to home base was just as uncomfortable as the one away, and Izzy's anger, or sadness, just seemed to be increasing more and more, especially after she heard Batman and I talking. She must have assumed that I was saying negative things about her too instead of standing up for her, or maybe… maybe, now she wanted to be able to stand up for herself and not have me to do it. I'm not surprised that she was starting to think that I would do all these hurtful things towards her, when I swore I'd protect her, because I had hurt her so much more than she deserved.

No matter which she thought I was doing, I hated myself for starting these feelings, I wish I could explain myself, find some way to make her happy and make her know what my feelings are for her. But I knew that I couldn't, she wouldn't listen to me while she was this upset, or she wouldn't believe me, so I need to wait until the time is right.

At one point I suppose Stark tried to help the situation by asking Izzy if she is romantically interested to anyone at the moment, nut all he got was a glare that would have caused the Hulk to shrink away in fear.

Other than moments like that, she was very cheerful and kept up conversations with most people on the copter, but it was only me that seemed to notice any sadness in her eyes. I had to just stay out of the way though, sitting in silence, because I was the cause of her sadness so I would probably make her feel even worse, and I really didn't want to do that.

Despite the question that Stark asked, Izzy still continued to talk to him as well.

"When are you going back to your tower?" she asked, her voice still with a slight slur that wasn't there while we were at Gotham City. But everything about her attitude changed then, as if she was in some soldier mode, so I'm not surprised that she could.

"Soon, I hope," Stark laughed, "sick of the hideous, cramped rooms."

"I'm sure you're missing your missus, too?" she winked, doing quite a good impression of him.

"Of course," he whispered, almost sadly, "but video calls are the next best thing to seeing her in person, I guess."

Izzy nodded, as if she understood his pain, and her eyes involuntarily flicked towards me, allowing me to see just how sad she was – it was heart-breaking, and it took all my self-restraint to not talk to her now and try and get her to believe me.

When we arrived at the home base, and were safely inside, I just couldn't take seeing her so sad anymore.

"Izzy…" I called, grabbing her hand as she walked away.

She whipped her hand away as if it was burning her to touch me, "What do you want, _asshole?_" she hissed, causing everyone to turn around and stare at what is happening, making me feel even more uncomfortable and embarrassed.

"I need to talk to you… to explain…" I started, trying to not break under everyone's stares, because I _need _to make everything alright with Izzy.

"No need to explain," she hissed again, "didn't take me too long to see how much my feelings _repulse _you. I suppose you see yourself as too good to settle for someone like me, someone so _ordinary_, but you're ot going to be able to step all over my feelings anymore, so _excuse _me, but I don't want to be in your _holy _presence anymore."

I fumbled at her hand, no longer able to speak, nothing I say would make her stay. I couldn't stand the fact that she hates me this much when I loved her more than she could imagine. But words weren't going to make her stay anymore, so I made the most risky decision that I have ever made, even though we were surrounded by people.

I grabbed her and forced her to turn around and look at me, before grabbing her roughly around the face and pressing my lips against hers.

I was shaking so much with nerves that the sparks that I gained from kissing Izzy almost caused me to collapse, but it was so amazing being able to do it that I didn't. This is so much better than anything that I've ever felt, so much better than every single time I imagined kissing her.

I broke away, looking into her dazed eyes, and was about to tell her how I feel, when she shook her head, and punched me in the jaw – much harder than I would have expected her to be able to do.

"You bastard!" she yelled, tears glistening in her eyes, "do you think finding humiliating me, _funny!? _You're a pathetic excuse of a man!"

I clutched my throbbing jaw, "wait, no, Izzy!" I yelled as she walked out of the room, searching for anything that I could say to make the situation better, to show her that I didn't just kiss her to hurt her even more, when I suddenly blurted out, "I love you!"

She froze at the door, but I knew straight away that I hadn't said the right thing, and that she still hated me, "Fuck off with your lies, Mr Rogers," she replied in an angry yet calm, quiet voice, "I don't tolerate them or you," and she walked out of the room, leaving me stood like the idiot I am, clutching my jaw and hating myself more than I ever had for ruining every single chance that I had with her.

**Izzy Hart:**

I brushed away my tears roughly and angrily, hating myself for letting myself get so vulnerable. I just _let _him kiss me, and it took him breaking away for me to remember that he felt nothing for me and was just playing around with my feelings again.

I was so busy wiping away the tears that I almost walked straight into someone who was waiting outside of the room.

"well, well, well…" he mumbles: it was Loki, "that was an interesting thing to watch…"

"Loki!" I exclaimed in shock, staring at him with wide eyes, hardly believing that he was here. Then a huge smile grew on my face, "Is Jules here too?" I asked excitedly, hoping that I'd be able to see her and see how everything has been going, especially as the Director didn't even let me say goodbye.

He pulled a face, "No… we had a… conflict in ideas…" he vaguely mumbled, looking really upset.

Even though this is about one of my closest friends, I still feel as if I have to make sure that both him and her were okay about whatever had happened between them, and because he is the closest one, I decided to make sure he was alright first.

"Want to talk about it?" I suggested.

"With _you?_"

"Sound disgusted all you want by me caring," I answered, glad that my slur isn't present while I'm talking to him, "but I've grown to care about whether you're happy or not, especially now that you're not trying to take over the Earth," I added with a wink.

He gave me a small smile, "very well," he replied, and we went into an empty meeting room.

I grabbed us both a cup of coffee and sat down next to Loki on one of the seats that surrounded a table shaped like the S.H.I.E.L.D logo.

"So… I thought everything was great between you and Jules when you left?" I asked, sliding his cup over.

"Oh, they were marvellous. I've never felt such… love… towards me, ever, and it foolishly made me happy."

"Nothing foolish about that," I replied, and I truly believed that, because although the happiness of being loved was only temporary, so is sadness, so it's best not to dwell on either.

"Well it felt foolish, I felt so vulnerable… but I dealt with it because, I too, had feelings for her. It was all grand at the beginning, but she is not one of us… she was left out by the others that habituate Asgard, so she only had me as a companion, and although she never complained about that, I knew that she couldn't stand it. I brought that up once, and told her that once I was the King she wouldn't have to deal with the judging anymore. But she… she is too moral… pure… kind-hearted… so she couldn't understand why I had to play my tricks and be mischievous. I told her it was for the crown, all the tricks I must play, or else it will just go straight to my brother, but she didn't like it, and kept on trying to change that part of me… she doesn't love me for the person I am, she only loved me for the person she wanted to change me into…"

I patted him on the shoulder, I wasn't going to take sides, especially as I felt sorry for both of them, but that doesn't mean that I can't be there for them for both of them.

"I'm sorry that it had to end like this, but sometimes people are just not meant to be together, no matter how much they love each other…"

"I suppose not, but I feel like I'll never find someone who loves me, no one will ever understand the things that are _me."_

"there will be," I promised, because I'm one of those people that believes that _everyone _will find someone one day.

"Do you have a mischievous side?" he suddenly asked.

I thought for a little while, "I suppose so, but not as much as you," I laughed, "I just like playing the odd trick, to amuse myself…"

He sighed, "at least you would understand me…. But you're a taken woman."

I laughed a little at him, "I am most certainly _not _at taken woman, _no one _has those sorts of feelings for me," but I didn't want the conversation to g towards that sort of thing, especially as I would never do that to Jules, "So, where is she now?"

"My brother and I just took her home to her parents."

"Oh, is Thor here too?"

He nodded, but didn't say where, so I started to talk again, "Well…" I started, "soon I won't have to stay here, and will instead be staying on my own out of work hours, so when I return home I could always see if I can talk to her for you? I know that she cares about you, despite the tricks you play, and I don't want you two to not be able to be together because of a few little problems that I might be able to help fix…"

"I'd like that very much," he said quietly with a small smile.

He took a huge sip of his coffee, but I couldn't drink any of mine as it was still too hot for me, so I just sat with the cup warming my hands while he finished his.

"What was happening between you and…" he fumbled, trying to remember Steve's name, probably.

"Mr Rogers."

"Yes, that's the one."

I sighed sadly, "you just witnessed how human men play with other's feelings and humiliate them in front of others, finding amusement in other people's pain."

He looked at me shocked, and shook his head a little as if he didn't believe it, "but, surely, he cares about you and your feelings… when I saw both of you together so long ago…"

"He laughs at my feelings, Loki. Right to my face."

He just shook his head again, "No, no, no… I saw him… he cares about you…"

"_No_." I said stiffly, "Please don't fill my head with any more heart-breaking hope, he never has and never will care for me."

Loki just looked at me with a sad expression, which I tried to ignore by drinking my still burning coffee. We sat in silence for a short while, when someone's voice on the speakers indicated that it is time for lunch.

I put down our coffee cups on a trolley so that they would be taken away to be cleaned later, "Come with me," I said, and then I lead him to the private eating room.

We arrived around the same time as everyone else, and they all rushed over to Loki to see how he is. From what have learnt, the Cube had taken control over Loki, in a similar way to Clint and Jules, heightening his harmless, mischievous side he had normally, and I shook my head sadly to myself, I should have figured that out when his eyes were the same ice-blue that Clint's were, instead of the green that they are now.

I then noticed that Thor was amongst everyone crowding around Loki, as he must have met up with them after I left with Loki, and luckily his eyes met with mine, as Steve was stood trying to get my attention.

Thor walked over and embraced me, "It has been too long since I last saw you, Thor," I said, smiling, "I hope that life at Asgard has been treating you well?"

"Very, but it doesn't compare to the kindness that I receive while on Earth. Even though I am deeply sorry about the way that Loki and your friend were unable to form a strong enough attachment, I am very grateful for the chance to see everyone…" he said with that infectious grin of his, and I knew that he was able to pay a visit to that woman that he met the first time that he visited Earth… Jane Foster I think her name was…

"Well I'm very glad that you've received a warm welcome…" I replied, and I started to grab a small plate of food, wishing that I could just eat everything that was here like I would have done in the past. But now I have got a strict diet to make sure that my body is kept in top fighting shape.

Everyone was talking to one another, but I sat in silence on the table, slowly eating my food, occasionally giving Clint little smiles as he was looking at me with a worried expression so I wanted to show that I was okay.

After a while he rested his hand on mine, "Are you okay, after…?" he looked over at Steve.

I nodded sadly to myself, "I can't let people who don't mean much get to me…"

"Well, I don't know if you'll care about this, but I think you're very special, even if he doesn't."

I smiled at him again, and gave his hand a squeeze, he really was a good friend, and it was what I needed to stop me doubting that there are any men who would actually be kind to me, instead of just playing with my feelings.

He took away his hand, and finished off the rest of his food, while he started to talk to Natasha, while I ate the rest of mine silence again.

I was last one out of the room, everyone seemed excited about the arrival of Thor and Loki, so they wanted to eat quickly and spend time with them before they leaved, but I was content with my own company for a while. I was in the middle of tidying my plate away when the door opened and Clint poked his head around the door.

"Oh, hi Clint," I smiled, and I finished putting my plate away.

I turned around and he walked over, holding out his arms towards me, "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked, holding me in a tight hug.

"Of course!" I said in the most cheerful voice I could muster.

"You don't have to be so strong Izzy… Even the best of Agents need time to be upset."

I broke away from the hug, "Natasha never seems to need to…" I mumbled.

"Natasha…" he started, "Well she would kill me for letting anyone know this… but she d_oes _need it, frequently. In fact, when I returned, she burst into tears and had to hide them from everyone."

I blinked at him, no longer thinking that it's childish to cry. Natasha is one of the strongest people that I have ever met, and if she cried over the loss of someone, then there is nothing that should stop me from doing it either. And there wasn't, because as soon as he said that the tears came, and I hid my face in my hands, sobbing my heart out. Because I love Steve, despite how much he hurt me, and even though he's just like all those sick boys and girls from my past who also fooled around with my feelings for fun. I just wish he was the person that I thought he was, the kind, funny, guy who I could so easily be myself with, and feel so protected when I was around him… but he isn't, that was just an act he played…

"It'll all be fine," Clint said, reaching over and wiping away the tears on my cheeks.

"I just can't believe he played with my feelings like that…" I sniffed.

"Izzy…" Clint said, with the same sad look that Loki had before, "Are you really sure that he was playing with your feelings?"

I looked at him for a little while, "No," I whispered, because there was still that tiny bit in me, hoping that there was just a misunderstanding happening, hoping that what he said is true… that he does love me… But I'm one of the unlucky people, that won't be the case.

"Do me a favour?" Clint asked.

"Sure…?" I said, hoping that it won't be something that I don't want to do.

"Just talk to him… We all _know _he loves you. We tease him constantly about it," he laughed, and I looked at him shocked, if people knew that he cared about me then why did no one tell me?

"If everyone knew that he cared about me, then why did none of you tell me?" I said, thinking that it was a good point.

"Because, it's not our job to tell you, it's his," he replied simply, and I tried not to smile, tried not to get my hopes up… "Now do us all a favour and talk to him!" he laughed and I laughed with him.

I gave him a quick peck on the cheek and rushed out of the room, "Thanks Clint!" I yelled behind me.

I needed to find Steve, before I changed my mind, before I realised how stupid I was hoping that he cared about me, so I ran down the corridor, ignoring people who looked at me weirdly.

I thought of all the places he could be, he could be in a meeting room, his own room, in Dr. Banner's lab… _The Gym._ I turned around and headed straight towards it, because whenever I needed Steve, he always seemed to be there, so it was the best place to start.

I rushed through the door, out of breath, and Steve turned from his punching bag and looked at me shocked for just rushing in.

"What's wrong?" he started to worry, and then I realised what a state I must be in, tear stains on my cheeks from before, and running around like a mad woman.

"We… need… to…talk…" I heaved, exhausted from running so much, and leant against the doorway trying to breathe properly.

"But…" he said warily, "you said you don't want to be around me anymore…"

"Clint…" I got out, but I was too out of breath to say anything more than that, and he just looked at me for a while while he tried to figure out what I meant, luckily giving me enough time to get my breath back.

"What did he tell you…?"

"Everyone teased you for liking me…" I looked at him with blank eyes, waiting for him to understand what I'm trying to say.

He must have figured something out – I could tell by looking at his eyes – and he stepped forward slowly, as if he was worried that I'd hit him again, "did he… make you believe?"

I don't know why, but tears started to form in my eyes, but I nodded, trying to ignore them.

"Oh God," he just mumbled, and rushed over and held me in his arms. This was just too much for me, and I started to cry into his chest, clutching onto his white t-shirt with my hands, and if I was to listen carefully, he sounded a little choked up himself.

"I'm so, so sorry, I never wanted to hurt you," he mumbled into my hair, his voice breaking a little.

I clutched him even tighter, "I love you too, Steve…" I whispered, and I felt his muscles tighten a little, so I looked up at him.

He took away one of the arms wrapped around my waist and he reached to my face to wipe away my tears, but his hand stayed on my cheek after doing so. I looked down to his lips, wishing that I could just kiss him again, but I'm still not that girl who would just go around kissing people without being with them, if I can help it anyway…

"Steve…" I started, wanting to explain this to him, but not knowing how, "I don't want to be the girl… who just does things with people, without them being… w_ith _me…"

He looked at me confused, and I sighed to myself, not knowing how to put it without embarrassing myself majorly.

"I'm not exactly… aware of the normal thing that happens nowadays between two people who have feelings for each other…" he said, obviously trying to help me and understand what I was trying to say.

"Well, that depends on how strong those feelings are…" I replied, hoping to find out if he actually wanted to be with me, or if he didn't care for me that much, "What… what would you _want _to happen…?"

This was the first time that he seemed to know how to reply, "I want so many things… but mainly, I want you to be mine, I couldn't stand it if someone ever stole you away from me, if anyone kissed your lips, if anyone was loved by you…"

My heart seemed to be in my mouth, and it was beating furiously, "I can only be yours, on one condition…" I said after a little while, still looking deeply into his eyes, which now flashed with a panic.

"Of… c-course."

"If… you'll be mine, and only mine…" I replied, and his eyes softened.

I smiled shyly and him, "I wouldn't think of being anyone else's," he replied with a whisper.

The want to kiss him was still there, and I grinned to myself, because there was nothing that could stop me from feeling his lips against mine again, so I moved my hands away from his chest and rested them on his cheeks, before standing on my tiptoes and kissing him gently.

The first time that Steve and I had kissed, I almost lost all of my sense, and it took him breaking away from the kiss for me to be able to think straight, but this time I didn't _have _to, so I just let myself enjoy it.

His lips are so soft, and my own started to tingle as soon as they touched, causing me to shiver a little. He wrapped his arms around my waist slowly, as if he didn't know what to do, and my hands moved down from his face so that my arms could rest on his shoulders.

I broke away, looking up at him while biting my lip, and he looked back at me a little shocked.

"What?" I laughed.

He smiled shyly at me, "I just didn't expect kissing you to just feel so… perfect…" he whispered, tightening his arms around me for a second.

"Everything about this is perfect…" I whispered back, biting my lip shyly again.


	17. Chapter 17 - Disappearance

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Avengers, Batman, or any other characters mentioned other than my OC Izzy Hart. This chapter is dedicated to my friend Charlotte because she has helped me loads with research on Poison Ivy, which is now based on her. Hope you all enjoy this.**

**Steve Rogers:**

After walking Izzy to her room, I touched my lips with my fingertips, almost as if I didn't believe that all of this hadn't happened. It is like all my prayers have been answered, and I am finally having some luck with love.

After kissing me, Izzy suddenly went from the confident person she's been since she arrived back at S.H.I.E.L.D to a really shy girl, and if I was to be honest I found it adorable, especially as she made me quite shy myself. I'm not one of the most confident of people when it comes to women, in fact I hardly know how to act around them, and there is no exception with Izzy, in fact I feel as if everything I say is the wrong thing, but tonight I have finally seemed to say the right things. I can hardly believe that she is officially mine now… my _girlfriend_… even just thinking that word made me have butterflies.

After we shared our second kiss, I just couldn't help but just look at Izzy, she was glowing with happiness that caused my chest to tighten, and she just looked so beautiful at that moment to me. She was always beautiful to me, but at this moment… she just seemed even more so.

I could hardly believe how amazing it felt to kiss her as well, it was like nothing I have ever felt. But I was so worried about doing something wrong during it because I hardly knew what to do – it's not like I've kissed many people. It seemed like I was doing the right thing tough, because she looked as happy as I was feeling afterwards.

This kiss was actually even better than our first one, and that was a lot better than I ever thought it would be, but even though I was expecting it to be similar, this time was just so much better, It's just like everything about Izzy, because she is constantly surprising me, whether she means to or not, and I love it, because it makes everything so much more fun and unpredictable.

"What?" she laughed nervously when she noticed how I was looking at her, and I decided to just be honest when I answered.

Smiling a little shyly for thinking this I replied, "I just didn't expect kissing you to feel so… perfect…" I whispered, and I tightened my arms around her in a little squeeze of affection, as if this would just show how much I care about her, but I doubt a_nything _could.

"Everything about this is perfect…" she replied simply, biting her lip, and I couldn't help but smile because of that, it was one of the cutest things I had ever seen her do.

And she was right; everything about this moment did seem to be perfect, and I was so happy because of it, because now I have the most amazing girl… as mine.

"You're happy," she smiled up at me, and the grin on my face grew even further.

"How could I not be," I replied, "When I am holding the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my arms?"

She blushed bright red and hid her face in my chest, causing me to laugh even more at her cuteness. I love how easily she is able to get embarrassed, it's almost as if she doesn't realise how amazing she is to me, but that's okay, because I am going to always make sure that she knows that she is, and that she knows that no one will ever be as amazing as she is to me.

After this, she started to stifle yawns, trying to hide the fact that she was tired. I ignored the first few, but after a while I couldn't anymore.

"Want to go to sleep?" I asked with a smirk, and she shook her head vigorously against my chest.

"Come on," I said stroking her hair, not wanting her to go myself, but her being tired was a lot more important, "We can see each other in the morning," I reminded her.

She nodded slowly against my chest, and I just wanted to carry her to her room, like I did when I found her on the first day we ever met, but she was so intent on denying that she is tired, so I knew that she wouldn't let me. Instead, I reached down to her hand, with my own shaking, and grabbed onto it, letting our fingers entwine, and making mine tingle a little.

She looked up at me, her eyes glistening with happiness, and she let me lead her to her room without complaining again. I hesitated at her room, not knowing whether I was allowed to kiss her now, or whether she would even _want_ me to, and she noticed, so she slowly reached up to my shoulders. I then wrapped my hands around her waist, and bent down to softy kiss her on the lips, sparks tingling mine as soon as they touched, "Sweet dreams," I whispered almost hoarsely, and a slow smile crept across her face, as if she find the way she affects me amusing.

"They'll be very sweet because of you," she replied, giving me another kiss on the lips, and going inside her room with one last small shy look back at me.

The next morning, I woke up with a huge grin on my face. I looked at the ceiling and put my hands behind my head while recapping last night. It was definitely the best night of my life, which was made even better because the day was pretty horrendous. One of the things that I was most happy about was that everything was cleared up between us, and now Izzy no longer hates me. I'm so glad that she listened to Agent Barton, I really, really owe him one, because he was able to get her to believe my feelings when I couldn't, and now… now she's mine, and I don't plan on ever letting her go.

After getting dressed in some jogging bottoms and a white t-shirt, I went to grab some breakfast, but I must have woken up too late as there was no one else there. So I just grabbed a piece of toast and ate it on the way to Dr. Banner's lab.

I have to walk past the wall of windows before getting to the door, and I saw Izzy sitting on a clear table, swinging her legs and laughing with Stark and Dr. Banner. It was such a lovely sight to see, especially when I have seen her so upset recently. I'm just so glad that she's happy now

.When I entered, she turned her smile towards me, her cheeks flushing, and my own flushed too when our eyes met - both Stark and Dr. Banner noticed.

"So, you two have made up then?" Stark said, nudging Izzy who he was sat next to.

She looked up at me, her eyes dancing with humour, "I suppose you could say that," she whispered, and I broke into a smile, before sitting on the other side of her on the table, and putting my arm around her/ behind her on the table. My legs were a little shaky as I walked, still a little nervous about being around her, I was so worried that I'd do the wrong thing.

She shuffled a little closer to me, and started to bite her lip shyly, as if she is embarrassed for wanting to be close to me, so I wrapped my arm around her waist instead and kissed her on the cheek, making her blush even more.

She snuggled a little into my chest, and I sighed in happiness, I loved having her in my arms.

"You're wearing lynx," she whispered after a while, shyly looking up at me.

"He goes through tons of the stuff," Stark buts in before I can reply.

I felt a little bit of annoyance, worrying that she'll be freaked out because I have been wearing it a lot since she told me how much she liked it once, but she looked so happy when he said it.

"You do?" she grinned, "Just… because of me?"

"Of course," I replied, blushing a little again, "you like it after all."

Her eyes darkened a little, and she looked at me with such a deep look that I just wanted to kiss her, "I love it a lot more than you'll know…" she said, with a smile that made her look like she had some sort of secret.

I was about to ask her to explain what she meant when Director Fury entered the room.

"How can we help you, Director?" Dr. Banner asked, turning his knowing gaze away from us.

"There's more trouble in Gotham City," he replied, "Time to suit up guys."

He then left, and Stark stood up, "We'll talk about adapting your suit later, okay?" he said to Izzy, and when she nodded, he left with Dr. Banner to go get his suit on.

"Why do you want to change it?" I asked her, once we were alone in the room.

She blushed red, "well… it's a bit… unsuitable... for me…" she stumbled.

I tried not to look at it, as I always try not too, because Stark admitted that he made it so tight and… revealing… to get a reaction from me. But I don't understand why she didn't want to wear it, it made her look amazing… My chest tightened a little bit when I did look at it, it was so distracting…

"Unsuitable?" I prompted, after a little while, tearing my gaze away.

She sighed a little sadly, "I'm not Natasha… I'm not one of those girls that can look so… sexy… when she wears things like this. It's a bit of a joke that Tony made mine similar to hers, I'll never be like her…"

"I'm glad you'll never be like her," I replied and she just looked at me, her eyebrows scrunched in confusion, "You're so much better than her, you're fun, caring, beautiful… and s_exy,"_ I laughed at the last word, feeling a little embarrassed to be using it even though I'm just copying what she said.

Her face unscrunched, and she looked at me for a little while in silence while her eyes started to darken again, I really need to figure out what that means…

"You… think I'm… sexy?" she mumbled.

There was some sort of energy going between us, and I didn't know what it was, and I didn't know how to act, so I just nodded my head a little, probably looking very stupid.

Her eyes were still dark, and were just looking at my eyes as if she was deciding whether she should do something, and that she did. She suddenly entwined her fingers in my hair and brought my lips down onto hers.

This kiss was nothing like the pecks that we had shared before, and it was difficult enough for me to know what to do then, but this was so much more… passionate… than then. I didn't even know where I could rest my hands, but after a little while I placed them on her hips, hoping that this was a safe place to put them. She then started to lean backwards, but wasn't breaking away from the kiss, so I assumed that I was supposed to be leaning forward.

Next thing I knew, we were both lying on the table, and Izzy started to move her hands from my hair down my back, before letting them spread out underneath my t-shirt. Her hands seemed to be radiating heat, but it made me shiver for some reason.

She broke away for a moment, "have I ever told you how s_exy _I find it when guys wear joggers and a white t-shirt," she whispered, kissing along my jaw.

My hands were at either side of her body, and they clenched a little when she said this, "n…n…no…" I recycled, my tongue feeling out of place in my mouth.

"Well I do…" she mumbled, kissing back towards my lips, while her hands start to make soft patterns on my back, "more than you'll know…" she quoted herself with a smirk and kissed my lips again.

She opened her mouth, binding our lips together, and started to kiss me even more passionately, and I started to worry even more because I hardly knew what I was supposed to do. I was too afraid to move my hands from either side of her out of fear that I'd hurt her, but with the hands that were still on my back, she started to push me, so I moved them to her hair. She must have been unsatisfied with this because she turned us over so that she was on top and moved her hands from my back to my chest, running her hands up and down it.

She looked down at me for a while, with a shy smile on her face, "okay…" she mumbled, "if I'm to be honest I feel like I'm not doing…. This… well…"

My face scrunched up a little in confusion, "This?"

She blushed a little, "being… sexy…"

I laughed and squeezed her a little bit in affection, "You don't have to even try to be sexy," I replied, "and at least you're not worrying about whether you're even kissing properly."

She laughed with me a little then, and pecked me on the lips, "you do it very, very, _very _well…" she whispered, and she was about to kiss me again when all of a sudden, someone cleared their throat, and Izzy and I broke away quickly. We both were looking at Agent Romanoff, who was stood in the doorway, with sheepish smiles.

Izzy scrambled off the table, and smoothed down her hair and suit, and I stood awkwardly, not knowing what to do.

"Suit up," Agent Romanoff said, nodding her head at the door, so I quickly gave Izzy a kiss on the cheek, and rushed off to get into my Captain America costume.

**Izzy Hart:**

As soon as Steve went out of the room, Natasha gave me a little wink, "_Finally."_

I started to laugh with her, and we both walked to board the copter that would take us to Gotham City together. I was thinking the exact same thing last night, because I am _finally _going out with Steve, and I couldn't be enjoying it more.

"Guess what everyone?" Natasha exclaimed when we got on board.

Tony, Bruce, and Clint were the only ones on board, and they all turned their gaze towards me, causing me to blush incredibly, was it obvious that Steve and I had just made out? I hope not, I don't want to be made fu of because of it…

"I just caught the love birds smooching," she said, and everyone's eyes widened.

"You mean to tell me…" Tony started with a smirk, "That you two… f_inally _stopped being friends, and in a good way instead of you just hating him?"

I looked down at the ground, twiddling my thumbs, and Tony laughed with a happiness that he had made me too shy to show myself.

"Good on _you, _Capsicle!" he exclaimed, and I looked up to see Steve boarding the copter, looking almost as ruffled as he did when Natasha caught us – he suited it.

He looked at me with an amused face, and I found myself biting my lip while giving him a small smile.

I blushed a little too when I looked at his costume, it just made his chest look so… big… and strong… The thought of them around me made me shiver.

When I looked back up to his face, he was looking at me with a half amused, half confused face, and I blushed even more being caught checking him out in his costume. He seemed to be asking me why I was doing it with his eyes, but I couldn't tell him how sexy and attractive and swoon-worthy I find him in his costume, especially with everyone here, just staring at us.

"Everyone move so that the lovebirds can sit next to each other!" Natasha gushed, making everyone who was sat down move to the seats on the other side of the copter, leaving the other half to just Steve and I.

Steve smirked a little to himself, and sat down next to me, wrapping his arm around my waist so I could snuggle into him. This was, by far, one of my favourite things to do, I felt so warm and protected and _loved, _and if I was to be honest, I never felt loved…

He kissed me softly on my cheek, and I looked up at him with what is probably a goofy smile, and sighed a little in happiness, before snuggling into his chest further and resting my head on his shoulder.

I closed my eyes with a smile on my face, and promptly fell asleep.

"We're almost there," Natasha called from the piloting area, and I slowly opened my eyes to see Clint, Bruce and Tony staring at me with wide eyes, even after they knew that I was awake.

"Oh my god," I sighed, raising my eyebrows at them, "do you not have anything better to do?"

"This is the most interesting thing that's happened in a while Sparky," Stark said with a smirk, "we're gonna wait to see what happens next."

"Well you're pissing me off, Stark," I glared, and I let a few sparks free from my palm to show him what I meant.

They all quickly looked away, and tried to start a conversation with one another, but they couldn't do this very well because they were so worried about setting me off like they did once upon a time.

I looked over to Steve to see whether or not he had noticed what had happened, but he was asleep, with his arm still tightly around me, as if he was afraid to let me go.

Although he looked adorable in his sleep, I knew that I had to wake him up because we were nearly at Gotham City, and I didn't want him to be sleepy then, especially if we started fighting straight away.

I nudged him lightly, but he wouldn't wake up. "Babe…" I said, nudging him again, but still nothing. My heart skipped a beat a little when I called him 'babe', especially as I've never called him that before, so I blushed a little to myself and sneaked a look towards everyone else, but they must have been trying so hard to not look/ notice me that they didn't hear.

Then I remembered just how tightly he was holding onto me, and how he must have been holding me since he fell asleep, so I started to move out of his embrace and he promptly woke up, "no…" he mumbled sleepily.

"Babe, you need to wake up," I said, and his eyelids started to flutter open, and when his eyes locked onto mine he broke out into a huge smile, so I blushed again, but this time much more than before because someone actually heard me call him 'babe' and I felt very embarrassed.

"Morning…" he mumbled sleepily, giving me a lopsided grin that easily melted my heart.

"Morning," I repeated, giving him a small kiss on the lips, before biting my lip again, I wonder if I'll ever _not _feel shy around him.

I noticed that whenever I did this, his eyes flicked towards my lips, but I didn't understand why… maybe he thought it was amusing how shy I was around him… I hope it isn't, because that'll just make me even shyer.

We landed shortly after this, but Steve and I both had enough time to stop being sleepy. When we got out, we were met by Batman again, and I swear he groaned a little when he noticed me.

I walked away from Steve, who had been holding my hand, and went up to Batman, "You really need to get a sidekick," I stated, "Will save us the trouble of having to run over here when you can't handle the crime."

He chose to ignore me, and looked at Tony, "I'm having a little problem with controlling the crime of a group of people. The man who seems to be in charge goes by the name of Floronic Man, who is working with a woman called Poison Ivy. They have been introducing the people of Gotham City to marijuana, for reasons that I don't know yet. "

"So… we need to stop them?" Tony guessed, because Batman had just left his statement so open.

"Precisely," he said, and they all stood in awkward silence, not knowing what to do.

I stepped forward, "Take us to them then, BatBoy," I sneered, not liking how slow he was being, if something like getting people addicted to a drug wasn't seen as dangerous, I don't know what he thinks is.

He nodded, and we all walked to a nearby side street, covered in dirt and graffiti, and we snuck into what looked like an abandoned building. But once inside you could see figures, quite a few, that were strong-built, but on closer look I could see that they are mostly all women. The most obscure of them was a man, the only man, who I presumed to be the Floronic Man that Batman was on about before, but I wasn't even sure if he w_as _a man, because the only human part of him was his head, the rest of him looked as if he had been made up of plants. There also was a few other people, but they didn't seem that interesting as they must be their henchmen and the only other person that stood out was one of the women.

I felt a little twinge of anger and jealousy when I looked at her, because she was pretty much naked other than a few vines that cover the necessaries. She was beautiful too, with dark brown, long hair, and deep brown eyes.

I was about to look over at Steve to make sure that he wasn't gawking –I know that I should have faith that he wouldn't be attracted to other women, but I am so insecure that I couldn't even help it– when I heard Batman start to make sounds of struggle. I quickly looked over to see that he was fighting with the henchmen, and he wasn't doing very well at all, but more importantly, Poison Ivy and Floronic Man had noticed and were quickly trying to make a getaway.

I don't know why, maybe it was just my jealousy, but I didn't want Steve to be one of the ones that went after them. In fact, I felt uneasy about the idea of any of the men going after them.

"Come on, Natasha," I said, "The rest of you, help Batman, he isn't faring well," and we ran after them.

Poison Ivy was the first one to notice that they were being followed, but it was too late, Natasha and I were much faster than both of them so we were quickly near.

"Well, well, well…" she sneered, turning around.

"Blow your Pheromone dust at them!" Floronic Man hissed, trying to sneak away from all of us, but I quickly stepped in the way, so that he walked straight into me.

"No thanks, I'm not that desperate," I replied for her, flipping Floronic Man onto the ground.

He soon got up though, and lunged towards me, making me unfocused from Natasha and Poison Ivy, and focus on him instead. As a result of his plant like body, he was very flexible, and was able to avoid a lot of my kicks, but, luckily as I was starting to grow a little tired from the fighting, he was soon lying unconscious on the floor, and I quickly created lightning bolts to act like handcuffs, to attach him to a nearby pipe, so that he couldn't escape, and if he tried he'd get a shock so powerful that he would probably be knocked unconscious again.

I then looked over to Natasha, who seemed to be struggling a little with fighting with Poison Ivy, which I never thought would happen because Natasha is the best fighter I've seen on our team…

I then remembered what Floronic Man had said about pheromone dust, just as Poison Ivy started to blow a pile of dust towards Natasha.

"Look out!" I yelled, "That's _pheromones_t!"

Natasha quickly moved out of the way, and Poison Ivy sneered at me for stopping her from affecting Natasha, and ran out of the building. Sadly, both Natasha and I were too far away to stop her.

"Damn," Natasha muttered under her breath, before turning to see how the guys were going with the henchmen, just as they had finished.

"Come on," I said, ignoring the looks that Steve was giving me, I know it wasn't a very nice thing to do, but I needed to focus on the job at hand, "Poison Ivy went this way…" and we ran off in the direction she went.

We were extremely lucky, because she must have lingered a little when she left, so we found her quite easily, and were able to follow her down an alley way.

"Wait…" I said, looking at all the guys, "She produces a dust filled with Pheromones, if you breathe any in, you're not going to be able to fight…"

"So what you're saying is that you don't think that we have enough will power to be able to control our male hormones?" Tony scowled at me, and I turned to him with a raised eyebrow, "Or are you just afraid of losing your man to another woman?" he added with a little smirk.

"Excuse me?" I snapped, my palms itching with the want to shock him. Of course I would never, but god, I r_eally _wanted to.

He must have noticed that he had just put himself in a dangerous position, because he backed off a little and did a little nervous laugh, "Just kidding, Cap would never do that, would you?" he nudged Steve, who looked at him with an amused face.

"Of course not," he said, smirking, and then he added quietly to Tony, "Dig yourself into a bigger hole, I dare you," which then in turn got him a childish shove.

"Oh my god Stark!" I screamed, "Stop being such a childish prat!"

I backed away slowly again, "I'll just… go see how the Bat is doing…" he said, before scurrying off back to the abandoned building where we left him.

I breathed in deeply, calming myself down a little, "He makes a good point Steve… She could easily control you… you too Clint, so maybe you should cover Natasha, Hulk and I, and we'll deal with her…"

Steve reached for my arm, "She's not going to take me away from you Izzy…" and he gave me a peck on the forehead, instantly making me relax, "There's no chance of a_nyone _taking me away…"

"Humour me?" I said, with a sad smile, which then made him quickly let go of me and shrug his shoulders. He looked quite annoyed at me, and I started to worry a little, I had never seen him annoyed with me and I didn't like it…

"Fine," he replied in a snappy voice that let me know for definite that he's annoyed, and even though I really should be focusing on the job at hand, I couldn't leave if he was annoyed at me… it seemed physically impossible.

I quickly walked over and grabbed his face, bringing down his lips to mine into a passionate kiss.

I broke away, and he grinned, "See you in a little while, Captain," I whispered, and ran down the stairs that lead to the side street with Natasha and Hulk, knowing that he wouldn't be annoyed at me anymore.

At the end was another set of stairs, that lead to a damaged door that looked like it had been forced open, and it seemed very likely that Poison Ivy would be inside, but when we went inside we found it empty. All there was, was a load of boxes around.

Natasha was about to walk out, assuming that everything was fine and we needed to keep looking, when I grabbed her arm, "Wait…" I said, looking around, "something about here doesn't feel right…"

I stepped forward and looked around the room, when I noticed in the corner a giant box, which I then walked towards. Inside was marijuana plants, and inside all of the other boxes was even more…

"Well… how are we going to sort this out?" Natasha mumbled when she saw it.

"Easy," I grinned, before snapping my fingers and creating a spark of fire, "We'll burn it…" and we stayed to make sure that all of the plants were destroyed. This drug problem has temporarily been sorted…

When we went out of the room, we went back to where we left Clint and Steve, but they were nowhere to be seen.

"Hulk," I said, turning towards him, "Do you think that you could go to the rooftops and see if you can see them?"

He nodded, and climbed up to the roof of a nearby building, leaving me and Natasha to look around to see if they were still around. After a while we heard him above us again, and followed him to where Clint was, but there was no Steve.

"Where's Steve?" I said, trying not to worry too much, but my heart was pounding in my chest.

Clint turned towards me, and the look on his face made me start to worry even more than I was before, "Where is he!?" I yelled, shaking him violently.

"I…I... don't know…" he stumbled, and I shoved him away, making him nearly fall onto the floor, but I didn't even care, all I cared about where Steve was – what if he was in danger?

In the corner of my eye, I saw a figure, and when I turned around quickly I saw that it was Poison Ivy, "I'm going to have fun with your… Captain…." She said with a huge grin, before disappearing into the shadows.

I couldn't even see where she was gone, it was just like the darkness had enveloped her.

"No!" I yelled, "No! No! No! No! No!"

Natasha rested her hand on my shoulder, and I flinched away, "I'm sorry…" she whispered, and I grabbed her by the front of her costume.

"He wouldn't be attracted to her!" I yelled, not even sure if I was just yelling at myself or everyone else, "He w_ouldn't! s_he… she… she _kidnapped _him! We have to find them!"

I let her go and she gave Clint a wary look, "I'm sure he'll return if he wants to…"

"He isn't there because he wants to be!" I yelled, definitely at Natasha this time, and I shoved her so hard that she fell to the ground, and I started to run away, as if that would help me find him.

He would never just leave me for someone like her… he is stronger than that…

I ran and I ran, never really knowing where I was stopping, but my eyes constantly swept across the surroundings I went past.

"Izzy," I heard, and I froze to see Tony looking at me, but when our eyes locked his widened with shock, "_What happened?_"

"She kidnapped Steve," I rushed, but he just looked at me with a worried gaze that seemed to be directed at me instead of about Steve's kidnapping.

"No Izzy… I mean what's up with your eyes…"

I looked at him confused, and looked around to see if there was anything reflective so I could see what I meant. There wasn't much, so I had to make do with a small puddle that I had to crouch down in front of to be able to look into it.

What I saw made me fall backwards onto the ground with a painful grunt, because all I saw was my eyes staring back to me, no longer the bright blue that they normally are, and instead nearly white.

What's wrong with me?


	18. Chapter 18 - Night Terrors

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Avengers or any of the characters from it, I only own my OC Izzy Hart.**

There must be something wrong with me, I look almost like a demon from my nightmares with eyes like these. Why do I have them? I might actually _be _a demon knowing my luck, which would really explain what a crappy person I am…

_Steve… _he's more important than whatever is going on with me, I need to save him, then after that I'll let myself worry about whatever is wrong with me.

I was picking myself off of the ground when I was grabbed roughly from behind, my arms forced behind my back with such a tight grip that I knew that if I tried to flip out of the grip, it would not loosen and I would snap my arms where they are being held, which means that I am most probably being held by Hulk.

"Let me go!" I screamed, my calm head gone, turning me into a violent and emotional wreck.

I started to fling my body around, flailing my legs in the air because I was trying to kick Hulk as if that would make him let go of me, but all I ever touched was air.

"Calm down, Izzy," Clint said, but I just spat at him.

"Go fuck yourself," I hissed, before continuing to struggle against the hold that Hulk has on me.

"Look at her eyes," Tony said with a completely straight face, that contrasts with everyone else's because he was so unfazed by the way that I'm acting.

Everyone moved, except the Hulk, in front of me, and gasped at my narrowed, white eyes.

"We need to get her back to home base," Tony said, again unfazed and with an eerily calm voice.

"_No_!" I screamed, baring my teeth at him, if anyone tried to take me away I would rip them apart with my teeth if I can, "I need to save Steve."

"_Just accept he's moved on to someone else!" _Natasha screeched at me, clutching her hair in frustration.

I stared at her with my eyes narrowed, and my whole body flaring with anger. So much so that I could feel myself changing the colour of the sky even though I'm wearing my suit.

"Something is really wrong…" Clint said, looking around, when all of a sudden his eyes widened, "_Hurricane!"_

Coming straight towards us was a twist of ferocious wind that was tearing everything in its path up, and I couldn't care less that it was because of me. I used it to my advantage, because while everyone's attention was on the hurricane, I stomped onto the ground – creating an earthquake so powerful that it cracked the tarmac in half. As a result of this, Hulk had to let go of me as he fell down the hole that had been created, so I was able to flip into the air and land safely onto the ground, but as soon as I was turning to run away, I heard something get released from Clint's bow, whooshing through the air. I looked back in time to see an arrow dig itself into my arm violently, and I cried out in pain, before collapsing to the ground – blacking out.

Steve is on my mind, which isn't that different from normal, because he is pretty much always on my mind, but at this moment I can't see, hear or feel anything, so I should be worried about it. But I don't care because the only thing that I'm worried about is Steve.

Normally, I am an incredible insecure person, but I know in my heart that Steve loved me so much that he wouldn't even be attracted to another person. I don't care that everyone seems so sure that he left me for someone else, I _know _he hasn't.

Sometimes, instead of the blackness I can see, but I wish I couldn't. This is because, all I see is everyone staring at me, as I lay on a hospital bed, as if I'm some freak. They start experimenting on me, cutting me open, and then killing me when they can't be bothered with me anymore.

Steve is never there to protect me…

"Steve!" I always scream with my last breath, before going back to the blackness.

One time I thought that it was all happening again, "Not again," I sobbed, but everyone reacted instead of acting like they can't hear what I say like they normally do.

"Speech is alright, then," Bruce said, moving away to feel my pulse on my wrist, but I flinched it away from him.

"Please, no more," I sobbed, "I can't take it."

He looked at me slowly, as if he was analysing me, and then turned to everyone, telling them to leave the room, leaving just me, him and Tony.

"We're not going to hurt you…" he said when we were alone.

Although I could hear what he said, my brain wouldn't accept it, so I ignored him, and violently moved my head from side to side as I looked around the room.

I started to sob incoherent things, but the only thing that was actually English was, "Steve, protect me."

"Careful," Tony grumbled in a rough voice as if he had not slept much, "you're going to hurt yourself," but he didn't move to try and stop me so I kept on doing it.

I'm in a hospital room.

"What colour are her eyes now, Stark?" Bruce asked, and Tony looked at me with disappointment.

"White…"

"We need to find a way to explain this change in colour, and why her suit couldn't control her powers before."

"_No!"_ I screamed, and kicked off the bed sheets of the bed I was lying in, and started to rip out the wires that are attached to me, "_No more experiments."_

"I just want a little blood," Bruce replied, searching on the shelves around the room, before grabbing a needle.

"_No!" _I screamed again, and scrambled out of the bed, when I suddenly felt a sharp prick in my arm.

I slowly looked over to see Tony, who had just jabbed a needle into my arm, and he looked at me sadly.

"I can't die," I sobbed, before collapsing to the ground.

This time I couldn't see anything, but I could hear – it was almost like I was hearing what was being said around me.

"How's she doing?"

It was Director Fury.

"A few night terrors, but she seems to be stable, we can't be completely sure because they have made it difficult for Tony and I to properly gain results, but we have now got a theory that we're pretty positive is correct," Bruce replied.

"By all means, Doctor, tell me."

"Well, it seems as if her body does not like having no way to show emotions on a large scale, so because of her suit, and because of the fact that she hasn't used her connection with the weather that much recently, the emotions have started to build up…

Because of this build-up of emotions, her body needed to find a way to express them – hence the change in eye colour, and then when the build-up continued to increase, why they were able to break through the barriers that the suit has created."

"Very well," the Director replied, "keep me updated."

"Wait," I heard Tony say, and he sounded even rougher than he did before, which contrasted greatly with Bruce's cheerful tone, "How is he?"

There was a very long pause before the Director replied, "He's… surviving…"

Who's _he? _I thought furiously, but I couldn't speak at all, and even if I could, I blacked out soon after the thought.

I felt a jab in my arm, and opened my eyes to see Bruce next to me.

"Oh, you're awake," he said, with an unfriendly grin, "let's get started," he said to Tony, and he picked up a huge, rusty, surgical saw, and started to cut into my arm.

The pain was severe, causing me to cry out over and over, begging them to stop, but they acted as if they couldn't hear me at all.

"_Steve!"_ I screamed, even though I knew that he would ever turn up, he was still trapped with Poison Ivy, and Bruce and Tony were too busy torturing me to save him.

Everything started to go really fuzzy, but the pain in my arm kept me awake despite this.

All of a sudden, the door smashed to the ground, and there stood Steve, pale and looking very rugged, but as soon as he looked at me, I blacked out again.

I don't even know if I can open my eyes anymore, but I refuse to try again, because every time that I do, something terrible happens again.

I could hear my name being called, and I sounded like it was Steve talking.

No, I replied, but I'm not even sure if I spoke out loud or if I had just thought the reply.

I don't want to open my eyes, even though the voice is Steve, because my mind will just be playing tricks with me, like it did by making me relive those experiments over and over again. Steve wouldn't be here.

"Maybe you should go back to your room and rest," I heard Tony suggest, but there was no reply and no movement.

I wonder what type of game my mind is playing on me… probably one that will break my heart…

"What do you think you're doing!?" I heard Steve snap after a very long silence.

"Just getting some blood," Bruce replied.

No, I whimpered, no experiments. Again, I have no idea whether this was out loud or just me thinking the words.

I heard a loud bang and a grunt of pain near me, and I flinched away, worried that I was going to be cut open – but nothing ever happened.

"Open your eyes…" Steve said in a soft voice, but I wouldn't let myself – my mind is just pretending that everything is fine, but as soon as I open my eyes, I'll be tortured again.

"What have you been doing to her!?" he suddenly yelled, and I scrunched my eyes tight because the temptation to open them was getting greater.

"Nothing, honestly…" Bruce replied.

"What's this about experiments?"

"She's been having night terrors…"

"_Why?"_

"Because, Steve," Tony said in his serious voice, "when you disappeared, her body went crazy because her emotions were so strong that she couldn't control them, and neither could her suit.

She started creating earthquakes and hurricanes to _attack _us all, so that she could try and escape to try and find you, we're lucky that we're even alive, but Clint shot her with a general anaesthetic so that she passed out," he sighed sadly, "but it's our own fault, we were all trying to convince her that you had left her, and stopped her from trying to find you."

Something snapped – something wooden, "I. Would. Never-" Steve started

"Yes, well," Tony cut in, "we thought you had, and she was so frustrated because we were stopping her from finding you and because none of us would believe her that you were kidnapped. In fact, you would still be there if it wasn't for Clint going behind all of our backs and forming a rescue mission for you – he was the only one of us that believed that you wouldn't leave her…"

"I keep on owing him…" Steve mumbled to himself.

"Do you _really _think that he's doing it for you, Cap?" Tony replied sadly, "He's doing it for _her…"_

"And your point is? I don't care whether he does it because he is friends with me or her –" he started, but again Tony cut him off.

"It's not because he's friends with her…"

Steve didn't reply, and I tried to sit up, but my arms and legs seem to be bound down, so when I dared to open my eyes, I was able to see that around my ankles and wrists were Velcro straps attaching me to a hospital bed.

The bright lights are burning my eyes, making me have to blink until they were adjusted, and I just lay on the bed and thought silently to myself, hoping that Tony is just making up a whole load of crap and that Clint doesn't have any feelings for me. Nothing could ever happen between him and me – my whole attention is on Steve, but then again, this may still be some sort of trick that my mind is playing.

"Oh, you're awake!" Bruce exclaimed, and started to come over to see me.

As he walked over I violently tugged at my Velcro straps – trying to escape, but I just couldn't loosen them enough to get away. I was making distressed sounds, and Bruce stopped moving towards me, but I continued to try and get away. I knew that if I opened my eyes I'd regret it, now I'm going to have to go through having to be tortured to death again…

I decided to try and burn them off, but the smoke was so obvious that Tony noticed, and after a grunt of, "shit," he grabbed a fire extinguisher and used it to stop me. After they were so damp, it was impossible for me to burn them off.

"Get away from me," I hissed, and continued to tug at the straps, and he just shrugged and stepped back a few steps. Which I thought was a bit weird for a torturer, but then again, my mind just loved to lull me into a false sense of security until showing me that I couldn't trust what was happening.

"Is no one going to get the straps off her!?" Steve suddenly snapped, but neither Bruce nor Tony moved, so he sighed dramatically and stood up from the chair he was sat in slowly and undid them.

I looked at him for a moment in silence after he did it, before scrambling off the bed, grabbing his arm, and dragged him out of the room – running as fast as I could so that I could get away from Bruce and Tony.

Steve didn't struggle but when we were a little distance away he begged me to stop, so I did, and looked at him, noticing how pale he was, and the cuts and bruises that covered his face. He looks so ill, when he always looked in perfect health, so I became very concerned, worrying that something is incredibly wrong.

"What happened?" I croaked, reaching over to touch his face softly, and he didn't even finch when I touched him, even though it looked so sore.

"Poison Ivy…" he whispered, you could even tell from his voice just how ill he must be.

I had never seen Steve so much as a tiny little bit out of breath because he was at the peak of human ability, but now he seemed exhausted.

I moved my arms to my side and clenched my hands into tight fists, "What did that bitch do to you? I swear I'm going to rip her apart, limb from limb, until there's nothing left!"

He seemed to ignore most of what I said, only focusing on the question, "she poisoned me… if I wasn't… _me_… I would have died."

The thought of Steve dying… I didn't even want it, but now it was here, and my heart ached a little even though he was very much alive. I gave him a little hug, trying to prove to myself that he's really there, but then I remembered where we have just ran from, so I looked from side to side - not feeling safe

"Steve, can we please find somewhere safer… I can't… I can't be experimented on…" I could feel myself getting hysterical, so he shrugged his shoulders.

"Come on," he said simply, and he led me to a room. He then unlocked the door, and then locked it behind us. It looked similar to my room, except there are carpets instead of the laminate floors that I have in mine, so it must be his own room.

He sat silently down on his bed, and he looked so tired - which I'm not surprised as his body must have used all of its energy to keep him alive.

"Oh, Steve," I sobbed before kneeling in front of him and holding his hands, "I'm so sorry I couldn't save you."

He silently reached over and wiped the tears running down my cheeks, "You were one of two people that had faith in me, it's not your fault that they stopped you from trying to find me."

"If I was stronger, faster, more skilled, I might have escaped, I might have stopped you from being hurt… I can't stand you being hurt…"

I hated myself so much, if I had just trained more than I normally do, I might have been able to stop him from having this unnecessary pain…

"Hey," he said soothingly, "I just need a little sleep…" he tilted my head up so I would look at his face and smiled a little at me, as if he was showing that he is alright, but I'm not sure whether or not I believed that was just the case.

I nodded furiously to myself, "Okay, okay, I'll let you sleep, I'll hide somewhere else," and I stood up, but he grabbed me by the waist and made me sit next to him on the bed.

I was about to ask him why he wanted me to stay, but he spoke before I could, "Why are you so afraid?" he whispered, looking deeply into my eyes, and I started to panic a little, are they turning into that demon-white again?

"There's something wrong with me," I whispered, unshed tears in my eyes, "I-I-I can't be experimented on anymore."

He looked at me almost sadly, as if he knew something that I didn't, "Sleep in here with me, then we'll talk about everything."

"But… that's-" I started, thinking how inappropriate it would be.

"Please…" he whispered, and he looked so tired and vulnerable that I didn't argue anymore.

"Okay, Steve, whatever you want," I whispered, and we climbed into his bed.

He wrapped his arms around me and I snugged into him, feeling a lot safer in his arms. He kissed me softly on the forehead, and then we both promptly fell asleep.

I opened my eyes, and looked over to see Steve propped on his elbows, looking down at me. I rubbed my eyes tiredly, before noticing just how better Steve was looking, he was pretty much looking exactly as he normally does, excluding the small bruises and the cuts on his face.

I felt a lot better too, much calmer, especially as nothing bad had happened since I opened my eyes in the hospital room.

"I'm alive," I sighed to myself, and Steve laughed at me.

"Of course, I would never let anyone hurt you," he replied, his eyes crinkling in his amusement.

"You look much better…" I said, reaching up to his face to gently stroke it, and he held my hand onto his cheek with his own.

"Told you all I needed was a little sleep," he paused for a while, his face becoming a little more serious, "Are you okay though? You keep going on about being experimented on…"

I propped myself up on the bed, and thought for a little while to myself, "Sometimes, instead of being completely unconscious, I had sort of… dreams… about being tortured and killed by Bruce and Tony as they tried to find out what is wrong with me… whenever I opened my eyes… I didn't know whether I was in reality or another one of those dreams…"

He propped himself up too, and looked at me silently as I explained, "What's wrong with you?" he asked warily.

"One time… I thought I heard the Director and Bruce talking, but I'm not sure if it was just another dream… they said that there has been a build-up of emotions in me… so my body had to let them out, so my eyes changed colour… I looked… I looked like a demon," I breathed in deeply, shaking a bit because of the memory, "and when that wasn't enough, it broke through my suit's barriers and changed the weather on a large scale again…"

"I see… so… is there any way for this to not happen…?" he asked.

I shrugged, "they said that it was because I haven't used my powers enough recently, so that's why there was this build up…"

He nodded to himself, and after a while he smiled at me, "Well, I'm quite in awe of your powers if I am to be honest with you… so I can't complain about you using them more," and he laughed such an infectious laugh that I couldn't help but join in.

We lay in the bed, snuggled up in the duvet and just enjoying one another's company.

"How many cuts do you have…?" I asked, touching his face softly again, but he just shrugged as if he didn't know, and took off his shirt so I could look.

I shivered a little to myself because of being able to see his chest, and then started to look at it a little more closely, both his back and chest were covered in tiny little scratches that are starting to heal over.

My fingers were shaking a little as I traced over the cuts with them, letting off a small amount of cold so that I could help with the inflammation.

"Oooh…" Steve groaned in relief, and I leant forward to kiss the cuts instead, again letting off a small amount of cold, but this time from my lips.

After kissing every cut on his back, I knelt in front of him on the bed, and continued on the rest that are on his chest.

"Izzy…" he mumbled, and I paused – looking up at him.

As soon as our eyes looked, his widened, "Shit, my eyes have changed, haven't they?" I gasped, looking away, and getting up to look in the bathroom mirror, but Steve just held onto my arm – stopping me.

"What are you feeling?" he asked, and he was smirking.

"Err… I'm happy?" I replied, confused about why he seemed to be amused about the colour of my eyes changing, "Why?"

"I've only ever seen your eyes darken like that in certain moments…" he said with a small private smile, and he pulled me so that we were lying on the bed, "So what are you feeling when we're kissing?"

I blushed bright red, not believing that he was asking me this, it was embarrassing enough that I was feeling so… pleased… when we kissed, but the fact that he noticed was mortifying.

He rolled over, and lay on top of me, with his hands at either side of me, with a huge smile on his face, but I didn't smile back, I just looked up at him with red cheeks and wide eyes, "I finally don't feel like the only innocent one in this relationship anymore," he whispered, and he started to kiss along my jaw and neck, causing me to gasp in pleasure.

"Do you like this?" he whispered, and I nodded slowly, before gulping as he continued to kiss down my neck.

"What about this?" he whispered as he ran his fingertips along my leg lightly, and I shivered a little, before nodding again, not even able to speak because I was so shocked at how the atmosphere had changed so much in such a short time.

I hardly even knew how to respond to his kisses and small caresses, but after a while I started to think straight, "Steve, stop," I finally got out, and he froze, looking down at me with a worried face, "I-I can't be this girl that… rushes straight into bed with someone… we've been together, how long?"

"5 days," he said simply, and rolled away, covering his face with his hands…

I twiddled my thumbs, "Don't get me wrong… I want to…" I stumbled, feeling horrified that I had to admit this, "but it's too soon…"

He didn't even reply, and I looked at him worried that I'd really annoyed him, "Please don't be annoyed at me…" I said, my voice breaking a little in hysteria.

He removed his hands from his face, "Oh God, no, I'm in no way annoyed at _you_. I'm annoyed at myself, I can't believe that I pushed you to do something you didn't want to do…"

I rolled myself on top of him this time, and looked him straight in the eye, "I _do…" _I said, before kissing him on the lips, and then when I broke away I said, "but, I don't want to rush into anything, it'll just hurt if this doesn't end up lasting…"

He sat up, and I sat cross legged- sitting on his legs and with my legs wrapped around his waist- and he wrapped his arms around me, "Let me take you out…" he said.

"Out? As in on a date?" I said warily, because I had never really been on a proper date with someone before.

"I want to make this up to you," he just said, "Please?"

I looked at him for a little while, "You could do something else to make it up to me…" I whispered in reply, and I could see my eyes darken as they were reflected in his pupils.

He smiled a little to himself, "And that is?"

"Kiss me," I whispered.

He grabbed my back and pressed his lips against mine while I ran my hands through his hair.

We broke away with big smiles on our faces, "I keep telling myself that there is no way you can be as beautiful as I remember, and then I look at you and realise just how much my mind has downplayed how beautiful you really are," he whispered, and he stroked some pieces of hair out of my face.

"Oh, Steve…" I whispered back, before kissing him again, trying to show him just how much I love him.

There was a knock at the door, and we broke away before just looking at it, not making a move towards it.

"Who's there?" Steve asked after a little while.

"Agent Barton."

Shit, I thought to myself, I knew for definite that I am back to reality, which means that what Tony said about Clint could quite possibly be true.

"Don't worry Izzy, I'm just here to check up on you…" said Clint, still behind the door, and I looked over to Steve, who then in turn shrugged, as if he was saying that he didn't care whether I answered the door or not. So I got up and did it, because I am pretty sure that Clint would have no romantic feelings towards me, he is just a very good friend.

When I opened up the door, he held up his hands to show that he wasn't going to hurt me, "Don't worry," I replied, with an embarrassed smile, "I'm a lot… saner now…"

He put his hands down by his sides, "Good, because we've all been really worried about you…"

"Bruce and Tony must hate me…" I groaned to myself, remembering how much I freaked out in their presence.

"Don't worry," Clint replied with a friendly smile, "They understand that it's just because of your night terrors."

"Oh thank God," I mumbled happily, "You should be worried though," I said, and he generally did start to look worried.

"Why is that?" he stumbled.

"You bloody shot me with anaesthetic!" I said.

"Yes, but it's because of him that I'm here," Steve said while he walked over, before wrapping his arm around my waist almost possessively, "And you wouldn't be this loved if I wasn't here…" he said, giving my waist a little squeeze.

I laughed a little nervously, and noticed Clint staring at Steve's hand around my waist, "Of course…" he mumbled angrily to himself.

"Are you okay Clint?" I asked, trying to not believe that he had any romantic feelings, but the way that he was acting was really suggesting that he did.

His eyes flicked up to my face, and he grinned – it looked very false -, "Of course, but that doesn't matter, just wanted to check that you're okay," and he started to walk away.

I looked up to Steve, "I'm worried about him, can I just have a moment alone to talk to him?" I asked, and after a long silence, he nodded, and let go of me so that I could run after Clint.

"Hey!" I yelled, grabbing onto his arm when I caught up, "Please, just tell me what's up, Clint?"

He turned around, shocked that I followed him, and he didn't have time to hide the sadness in his eyes, "Nothing, I'm fine…"

"_Clint."_

"I just… want you to be happy, okay? So stop worrying."

"I can't be happy when my friend is upset…" I said, with my hands on my hips and giving him a face that said he needed to stop bullshitting to me, so he chose to just say nothing ad stand there in silence.

"I heard something from Tony, before," I said, trying to break the silence, and not liking the doubting thoughts in the back of my mind that are trying to tell me that he doesn't just have platonic feelings for me, "he told Steve that the only reason you saved him…was because you have romantic feelings for me, and therefore wanted me to be happy," I laughed a little nervously, "Might want to talk to him before that turns into a huge rumour."

"Was quite a stupid move from me seeing's though it takes away any chance I have," he mumbled to himself softly, and I covered my mouth in shock.

"Oh Clint…" I replied sadly.


	19. Chapter 19 - Recollection

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Avengers or any of the characters from it, I only own my OC, Izzy Hart.**

I stood, staring at him, not knowing what to do or say to make this easier for him. Sure, the fact that he does have romantic feelings for me has made me feel a bit awkward, especially because I have never been very good in situations like this, but he is still my friend, and I still care for him in a platonic way - so I hated the way his normally strong, and blank face has crumpled into shock and agony because it is obvious that nothing can happen between me and him. It was heart breaking to see that look on his face, and I was worried that whatever I said next would make it even worse for him, but there's no way that I can avoid the fact that I'm in love with Steve, so there is no way that something c_ould _happen between me and Clint. Maybe if things were different… maybe if I had met him first… maybe then I could save him from this pain.

"Oh, Clint…" I mumbled again, and tried to reach out towards his arm, as if that would comfort him in some way, but he just shoved me off roughly, and went back to the strong man that I remembered, just not as… kind…

He started to walk away without another word to me, but I ran up to him, and grabbed the back of his black shirt slightly roughly to make him stop, "Don't push me out Clint…" I whispered, panicking that because of this I would lose his friendship, because I knew that no matter what, he would be there for me, to protect me, or to stand by my side, he was one of the few people that I trusted solely, "I can't lose you too…" I whispered, and I could have sworn that I saw a little flash of sadness in his eyes again, but he blinked and it was replaced by his cool, analysing eyes.

I desperately wanted to still be on good terms with him, so kept on talking, trying to not let him ignore me and walk away, "How did it happen?" I asked, removing my hand from his shirt slowly, hoping that once I let go he wouldn't run off.

He looked at me, his mouth twisting in humour, almost as if he was laughing at his own pain, "When we first met…" he started, pausing to think of the correct words, "there was some part of me that was watching everything I was doing… even if I had no control over what it was that I was doing… and that part learnt about you."

I looked at him a little confused, not knowing why just noticing me would have caused any feelings, and decided that it would be best for us to sit down in private and talk about it further, "Come on," I said, and he walked alongside me in silence until we got to an empty conference room. Once inside, we sat on opposite sides of the table, obviously feeling awkward, and avoiding being too close to one another.

"What did you learn about me?" I asked after a long moment of silence between us, and I started to fiddle my thumbs nervously, it had been a long time since I had felt _this _awkward.

"The basic information, name, powers, town, just as much background information that Loki allowed me to find out, and then a little more than that. Loki wanted as much information as I could give him on everyone working at S.H.I.E.L.D that may become troublesome towards his plans, but the only one that I didn't know that much about what you - because the decision to recruit you was made after I was taken," he sighed, and scratched his chin while he thought, "so I did a lot more research on you, and the more I found out, the more research I wanted to do."

"Why?" I blurted out, a little bit frustrated, "There's nothing interesting about me?" I voiced, thinking a little about my powers, and how they're the only interesting thing about me, "unless you're thinking of me as some sort of lab experiment…"

He looked at me, with a shocked frown, "Because you seemed so much more vulnerable than the rest," he simply said, and the way he said it sent shivers down my spine.

What did he mean? That he wanted to take _advantage _of me?

"Sounds a bit perverted to me…" I said with a scowl, and he let out a little shocked/ nervous laugh.

"I don't mean in that way, it was just I was told to find information useful to Loki so that he knew what to expect from everyone - what will cause problems to him - and everyone else has some sort of fighting technique that would cause him problems a_s well as _their powers, but you, at first glance, you just looked like a fragile girl who couldn't control her powers, so it was most likely that they would be more of a danger to yourself than Loki, so I was confused as to why you would have been recruited, after all there is a lot of people who have got powers and are unable to control them."

"There is?" I pulled in a shocked breath, I thought that there was not many of us, I was so amazed and happy when I was around people who were slightly similar to me, especially because I felt like there was no one out there like me, other than the famous superheroes, but I could hardly relate to people like Batman and Spiderman.

He nodded, "Some people's powers show at a certain age, most around puberty or around a time of stress, because of a mutation in DNA, but most of the time you can hardly tell because they just seem like normal people."

Time of stress… yep, that sounds familiar…

I found myself nodding in thought, "Okay, carry on about the research?" I prompted after a while.

"So…" he paused, trying to remember where he was in his explanation before I interrupted, "So, I was confused why they would recruit you if you wouldn't be much help, and then when I realised that they w_ouldn't, _I did even more research, against Loki's orders, about you. That was the only time that I was able to do something that was against him orders…"

"What…" I gulped nervously, "What did you find out about me…?" I mumbled, hoping that he didn't find too much about the patheticness of my past.

He looked at me a little sadly, and when our eyes met, I knew that he found out about everything, all the times I was hurt, all the stupid things I did, everything that lead up to be the person I was.

"So… you became attracted to me… because of my past…" I mumbled, not even sure if I was making a statement or asking a question.

"No, no, no!" he rushed out, his mouth open in shock, "I was just interested in you at this point!"

I gave him a nod as if to say, carry on with the story, so he took in a deep breath before starting again.

"The first time I met you, you went against all of my expectations, you were so strong, your head in the moment, it has been so admirable to me, when I was in and out of Loki's control, and also ever since.

"You're constantly going against my expectations, and that made me even more interested in you, I wanted to find out if there was ever a point that I would stop being shocked by you, after all, you may be quite open with your emotions, but everything else about you seems like a mystery...

"I think the biggest shock you ever gave me was when you left, because that was when I realised that you didn't know just how strong you are, which I had assumed you had done, because it seemed a very silly idea that someone as powerful as you wouldn't even know it, when someone as clueless on you as me, _did. _

"It was that moment that I realised just how much you meant to me, but still, this was only in a platonic way, it was nowhere near to how Steve felt about you at this point, so your departure didn't have such a big effect on me as it did with him… but don't get me wrong, you were still on my mind a lot, I wondered constantly what you'd be doing now that you weren't working at S.H.I.E.L.D, would you be trying to become as strong as you felt that you needed to be, or would you go back to the world before your powers came…" he looked at me a little sadly again, and I blushed under his gaze, if he knew about everything that happened to me, why wasn't he acting like he was judging me? He just seemed sad for me…

This thought was annoying me so much that I decided to voice it to him, and he laughed again.

"This is exactly what I mean, you're always shocking me... I don't even see why I would judge _you, _but I most certainly want to take out all the anger I've ever felt about the situation on the person that did this to you…"

"Why him?" I whispered, trying to not think about that statement too much, because I knew that Clint could do it so easily.

"Do you… _not _hate him for what he did…?"

I looked at the floor, my eyes glistening a bit, "I try not to relive the moment so much as to feel anything towards him, I'm trying to get away from the constant negative feelings…"

"I'm warning you now," he said, his voice changing so much that I looked up at him, it was darker, and filled with a menace I had never imagined Clint having, "if I ever meet him, he's going to regret every single thing he's done to you…"

I didn't say anything, and I just sat blinking, trying to digest the threat, trying to feel any emotion about it, but I couldn't, the only thing that I could feel was happiness - because someone actually cared about how much I was affected by my past, unlike everyone else who found out about it : they just shrugged it off.

"Who else knows?" I asked.

"Just me…" he said, and I let out a relieved sigh, because even though I was lucky with Clint's reaction, I probably wouldn't with everyone else, I can just imagine Steve running away once he realised just how damaged I am…

"Want me to continue?" he asked, looking at me with what seemed like a mixture of pity and worry, and although it was nice he cared, hated being pitied, so I was a little snappy when I replied.

"Go for it."

He cleared his throat, "As I said, up until that point, all my feelings were platonic, and if I was to be honest, I jumped to the opportunity to watch over you with the Director to see whether or not you are able to become a part of the Initiative, but he decided that I shouldn't for some reason, that I still don't know, and got Natasha to help him every now and then… maybe he knew that I thought you were ready, and therefore wouldn't be tough enough on the decision to let you on board, so I didn't know anything about your progress. Didn't know how much physically stronger you are, how much more in control of your powers you are, and not even about the training you have been doing…" he paused for a little while, placing his hands on the table – pointing his palms to the ceiling.

"It was a huge shock to see you training in the gym, firstly, because I didn't even know that you would be returning, and secondly, because I didn't expect to see even more improvement in how strong you are. And it was then that I started to care for you… and not as a friend.

"I got to the point that I was so in awe by your power and skills and just… everything about you, that everything platonic about my feelings was replaced with the constant need to make you happy.

"So I kept my feelings a secret from everyone - or so I thought, because I really did think I was hiding them well until you said something to me in the hall – and did everything I could to make you happy."

"That's why you went back for Steve isn't it?" I asked, "You didn't believe the fact that he hadn't left me, you just wanted to get him because you knew it'd make me happy…"

Saying it out loud, I hardly knew how to feel, happy because he would go against his own beliefs to make me happy or sad because even he didn't believe me…

My eyes started to brim with tears again, "Why are you upset?" he murmured awkwardly, and I looked at him, not even ashamed of the tears now flowing down my cheeks, I shouldn't be ashamed of my emotions any more, they're a part of me, and they are what makes me… powerful…

"I thought you were the only person who believed me, but even you thought it was the delusional ramblings of some pathetic, love-struck teenager…"

He pulled in a shocked breath, and looking over just how much he had done that through this time that we had been talking, I realised that he had to be telling the truth about how unpredictable he found me.

"Don't you even understand?" he said, and I wasn't even sure if he was just mumbling it to himself or to me until he continued, rushing out his thoughts, almost like he was rambling, "All my actions, they're revolved around what you want, it's almost like Loki's spell, but even more powerful, I can hardly think for myself, all I want to do is to make you happy.

"But yes, I did believe you, I believe every single thing that comes out of your beautiful lips, not surprised because I can't help but constantly notice them, I am so jealous of the closeness Steve is able to have with you and them…" He shook his head, before going on, "I believe everything that you do is the right thing, I believe that the only thing that I have to do is make sure that you're happy…"

I laughed nervously myself, not liking the compliments because they always have made me feel awkward, "I always thought that you and Natasha had something secret going on," I admitted at last.

"_Nat!?"_ he scoffed, again, shocked.

I looked at him a little sadly, "If I'm to be honest, I wish you did, it would make things so much easier… or I wish that things could have been different, I hate to see you hurt, and I'd hate to lose your friendship, but you know it can't happen between us…"

"Izzy, you're not losing my friendship," he said, starting to go back to the same Clint he normally is, his face stiffening, his eyes losing the emotion that flittered along them throughout us talking, "Whether you want me to be or not, I'm always here." And then he stood up and walked out of the room without another word to me, and I knew that I had hurt him by telling him the truth, but I suppose that this is better than playing him along, because in the end, that'll hurt him even more.

I sighed a little to myself, and allowed myself some time alone in the room, before getting up, I suppose it's time to face Tony and Bruce now that I'm certain that I'm in reality, and sadly, I'm going to have to do it alone, because now I have neither Steve or Clint to protect me/ to give me support.

I got up with shaking legs, and slowly walked to Bruce's lab, and luckily – or sadly – both him and Tony were inside. I paused a little at the door, not sure whether I could force myself inside, but they saw me through the glass windows, so I had little choice after that.

I opened the door slowly, and looked up at them, my eyebrows knitted together, and my posture stiffening, I knew that I was back to reality, but the room still gave me the creeps after all the dreams of being tortured in here happened.

"Err… Tony…" I said, my voice croaking, and I tried to speak again, "Bruce…" but the same thing happened, I cleared my throat, and chewed on my bottom lip, "I just…" I sighed frustrated at myself.

"Apology accepted," Bruce smiled his gentle smile, and not the frightening one from my dreams, "it must have been hard to distinguish the night terrors from reality."

I nodded slowly to myself, tears flooding my eyes at the memory of the dreams, and Tony silently held out his arms. I crushed myself to him, trying to not cry, but it was no use, and soon Tony's shirt was drenched in my tears.

I broke away, "I'm s-s-so s-sorry Tony…" I sobbed, and looked at his face, but luckily he didn't look that angry. In fact, he just looked tired, or ill, like all the energy was drained from him, "What's wrong…?" I whispered, my eyes round in shock, but Tony just shrugged as if nothing was different from normal.

I looked at Bruce when Tony did this, "he hasn't slept properly in days, he wouldn't let himself be apart from you, he was really worried about you, even if he did keep a calm head about it."

"Oh Tony, please go to sleep," I said, but he shook his head furiously.

"I have work to do, Cupid," he said, before nudging my chin lightly with his fist.

I looked at him, raising my eyebrow, "_Bed."_

He looked at me for a while, as if he was studying my face for something, "Remember to let some of your powers out…" he said after a while.

"Shit… My eyes?" I guessed, cringing a little to myself.

"Maybe a shot of your lightning will give me some energy," he laughed roughly, and I smiled a little sadly, "What?"

"Thank you for caring too much for me, Tony," I said.

"Too much?" he laughed again, "don't worry though, I'm not another one of your admirers."

I looked at him amused, "I didn't even think you were Metal Man, now go get some beauty sleep, I'm sure Bruce can manage on his own for a little while…" I said, looking towards Bruce for clarification.

"Of course, go get some sleep Tony, and go… let off some steam Izzy… Or lightning… Or whatever you feel like."

I laughed a little, and walked back towards my room, an idea forming in my mind.

I entered, and locked myself into the bathroom, before running a bath, but instead of using the tap, I used water from my hands, hoping that this would let out a load of built up emotions.

After a nice long bath, I got dressed into one of the suits that Tony and Bruce made me, and was about to go for a walk around when I heard my name being called.

As soon as I turned to see Steve, my heart did a little flutter, and I didn't pause to grab him and pull his lips down to mine. I have had a tiring and stressful day, and I needed something more than a bath to distress myself.

When I broke away, Steve looked down to me with a boyish grin on his face, "What was that for?"

I sighed, "Stressful day," I replied, and looking out the window on the wall opposite I was able to see that it definitely was night now, which means that me talking to Clint took a lot longer than it felt.

"Clint?" he said, looking at me a little sadly, and I felt a little angry in return, I was sick of being looked at like that today.

"At least he understands that there is nothing between me and him now… even if it did cost our friendship…"

Steve looked at me silently for a little while, "Can I be honest?" he asked.

"Please always be honest with me…" I replied, a little wary.

"I'm a little glad that you talked to him, because it means that there's no chance of him taking you away…" he ended with a sheepish smile towards me, and my heart just melted.

"Oh, Steve, why don't you know that there's no chance of a_nyone _taking me away?" I whispered, and his eyes darkened in response.

I pulled away in shock, it was always me that eyes darkened, I had never noticed Steve's do it, and of course it wasn't to the extent that mine go.

"What's wrong?" he asked, trying to pull my closer to him.

I looked up to him with a little smirk tugging on my lips, "What are you feeling?" I whispered a little hoarsely.

Still looking at his eyes, I was able to see when he understood what I meant, and he smirked back at me. "I feel like I haven't kissed you enough today…" he whispered, leaning over and kissing me on the neck, causing me to suck in a little shocked breath.

"Oh, Steve…" I breathed out, and he very gently bit into my neck, causing me to dig my nails into his back a little.

He then nuzzled my neck with his nose, before looking down at me, his eyes twinkling mischievously, and I loved seeing him look like that, "Oh, Steve?" he copied, his eyebrow raising a little.

I grabbed the front of his shirt a little, pulling him closer towards me, and shivered a little to myself, "If you don't like my reactions, you better leave right now, because I react a_ lot _to you," I whispered, and I felt his muscles tighten a little in response.

"I don't think you realise just how much I _love _your reactions," he whispered back, kissing me on the lips softly.

When he broke away, we looked into each other's eyes in silence for a while, soaking in each other's presence, before I suddenly grabbed him – kissing him passionately, and pushing open my room door, so that we could have a more private make-out session.


	20. Chapter 20 - Trustworthy

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own The Avengers or any of the characters from it, I only own my OC Izzy Hart.**

I slowly opened my eyes, and found myself snuggled up against Steve, and I know that I should feel guilty about sleeping in the same bed as him again, but I couldn't bring myself to, not when it just felt so good… I felt so warm in his arms, so comfortable…

Almost as soon as I opened my eyes, he did as well - almost like that copter ride when nothing would wake him up other than when I moved away. But, even though I will admit quite easily that I have a romantic soul, I know that people don't have connections like that, I've been hurt by foolish thoughts like that, and I won't allow that to happen again. It's just a coincidence that he woke up because I was awake, not because we had some sort of connection with one another that allowed it to happen.

People don't form that strong of an attachment to one another, I'm not stupid enough to think there's such things as soul mates…

And I'm not stupid enough to believe that relationships last forever, sure, I love Steve, and he loves me, but there is no chance that we will last for a long time, maybe a year if we are lucky, but no way in hell will we last longer.

We don't live in a fairy tale. We just live in a world filled with people who secretly have mutated DNA and therefore are able to have super powers… because that's more plausible than a happy-ever-after…

Don't get me wrong, I really wish that there would be a happy ever after for Steve and I, but I'm not going to let that want to make me foolish enough to believe that it'll actually happen.

Steve looked down to me with a lazy smile on his face, and after a while I smiled back – once I brought myself back to the moment and broke away from negative thoughts about our relationship, it's best to just enjoy it as it happens.

When thoughts like this enter my head, I wonder if I should really revaluate my thoughts on not rushing into bed with people, I mean it hurt me so much last time that I did that… maybe if I stopped being such a pathetic, whining, fragile little girl, I would be able to deal with the fact that I rushed into bed with someone at the end of the relationship…

"What's wrong?" Steve asked, tipping my chin up so that I would look him, breaking me once again out of my thoughts.

I gave him the most reassuring smile that I could, "Nothing."

He shook his head, "It's because I slept over isn't it?"

Yeah sure…I though, I may as well pretend it's because of that… I don't want him to know that much about my past, because I know that he won't react well.

"I'm really sorry Izzy, I keep on meaning to be a gentleman in this relationship, you deserve to be treated with respect, and also it's just something that I learnt when I was younger that I had to do… it's just when I'm with you, when you kiss me, I can hardly keep my thoughts straight enough to think of being a gentleman…" he paused for a moment, "We've only been officially together for 7 days, a w_eek, _and I have already slept in the same bed as you twice.. that's hardly proper of me, especially as we have been together such a little amount of time…"

"Hey…" I murmured, not liking how distressed he was sounding, and I reached towards his face, caressing it almost as if I hoped that that would ease the pain for him, "I hate myself for it, because it isn't the type of girl that I want to be, but I don't ever feel bad about it until the morning, I never have nightmares because of you, I feel so protected, and happy, and… completed…"

I mumbled the last word, it stuck in my throat a little, because again, I'm not so stupid as to think that soul mates exist, or that another person can complete the other, but nether the less Steve still broke into a huge smile when I said the word… maybe he was foolish enough to believe that things like that were true…

I'm not going to thing negatively of him if he does, in fact, I am glad that he is able to think like that about relationships, like there is someone out there made for him, and I really do hope that he will find himself compatible enough to someone so that those dreams seem to have been fulfilled, but I know that I won't be that person…

I won't allow myself to think that Steve and I will last that long… I won't… I won't…

I tried to urge myself to keep believing it, but if I am to be honest, lying here in his arms has started to blur these thoughts with the happiness I'm feeling. I leant up and kissed him softly on the lips, and didn't say anything else before getting out of bed, and after I looked down I couldn't help but groan.

I forgot that I had changed into pyjamas tonight for once, instead of accidentally falling asleep in the suit Tony and Bruce made for me - like the last time. I'm sure that I thought it was a good decision at the time to change into pyjamas, even if Steve was in my room, because it was night, and I was going to sleep, and I wasn't really expecting me to allow him to stay the whole night… but his kisses were so good at jumbling my thoughts…

It was really embarrassing to be seen in them, and I flushed bright red because of it.

Steve put his hands behind his head, making his naked chest more obvious, and despite my embarrassment I was trying very hard to not swoon over how gorgeous his body is. I never was one to like such strong men, after all I felt like I couldn't protect myself, but Steve was definitely an exception, and of course it helped that he is so kind and caring towards me and others.

"You look so cute," he smirked, causing me to go even more red, my face burning with shame.

"Don't tease me," I mumbled, and was about to walk to the bathroom to get changed into my suit again when he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me onto the bed.

His chest was pressed against my back, and his arms wrapped tightly around my waist, and he nuzzled my neck affectionately. I struggled against him, but I couldn't break free from his hold…

Or wouldn't…

"I would never tease you," he whispered, before kissing me in the same place he nuzzled me, and I instantly stopped struggling – melting in his arms.

He then let go of me, presumably to allow me to get changed, but I just turned around and looked at him, deeply in the eyes. I loved the way his swam with emotion, in general glowing with happiness, but there was little flecks of mischief there too. Mischief that reminded me of…

"Oh my God! Loki!" I breathed, remembering how I hadn't talked to the Director about housing arrangements and therefore whether I will be able to talk to Jules or not.

Steve chuckled a little, "I think I prefer 'Oh, Steve'"

I laughed, "No, no, I need to deal with something for him… with everything that's happened in the last week, it has completely left my mind until now… God, I feel so guilty…"

He reached up to my face and caressed my cheek, "You care so much about other people's feelings…" he mumbled, half to himself, "I admire that so much…"

I sighed a little, "I know how it feels to not have any one to help you through difficult moments, and it's horrible, so I would never want someone to feel like that, especially if I can help it…"

His arms tightened around me slightly, and he looked down at me, his face showing a bit of possessiveness, "You know I'm always here for you, I'm not ever leaving…"

"Ever is a long time…" I said, knowing that there's no chance in him staying with me forever.

He shook his head a little, looking sad for a moment or two before mumbling, "Of course, we haven't been together that long… You have no reason to believe that I will love you forever…"

I just looked at him, feeling guilty for making him upset, even if it was over something that I believe strongly about, "You don't either…" I stated.

His eyes looked into mine, causing my heart to ache, "I thought I was in love once…" he said, the blue of his irises going a little cloudy in memory, "but then I met you, and I realised just how much I w_asn't. _Peggy wasn't meant for me, _you _are…

"And I know that you will have thought that you were in love once too, or that you were, so surely, you can use that to judge whether you think that I'm meant for you?"

He looked at me hopefully, but anger boiled in me instead - Clint told me that he hadn't told anyone about my past, but obviously he lied. I scrambled away from Steve, off the bed, and stood with my back pressed against the wall in a defensive stance.

"Go on," I said in a hoarse voice that hardly seemed like it was my own, "show me how much you've been judging me."

He looked at me in confused shock, "What are you on about, I wouldn't judge you…"

I felt a sob build up in my chest, knowing that this must be a lie, he just doesn't know what exactly I'm referring to. I really didn't want to drag this out, but I'm going to have to remind him to get it over with, and then I can decide what I'm going to have to do about having my heart broken again…

"How does it feel?" I replied, again in the strange voice, "To know that I rushed into bed with someone, to know that I was used for sex, and I gave it willingly because I thought that we were supposed to last forever, and then when that wasn't good enough, I was dumped so that he could find someone else to seduce?"

"_What!?"_ he yelled, and he looked so angry that I flinched away, knowing that the hatred was going to come, and probably physically as well.

I opened my eyes which were squeezed tightly shut after his outburst, and noticed he was kneeling on the bed, saying things to himself, running his hands through his hair distressed.

That was when I realised that actually he was talking to me.

"I can't believe it, here I was, just talking about the letter that you sent me before you left, the one that seemed to have described your past relationships in great detail, and now I find out that it was incredibly vague.

"What else did this man do to you?" he paused after a while, "no, don't tell me, it'll probably make me want to hunt him down even more and punish him for what he did."

I stood against the wall, not so much afraid any more, but wary, because it seemed like he was saying that he was angry at my ex-boyfriend, just as Clint was, and isn't judging me… but surely I couldn't be that lucky…

Steve ran his hands through his hair again, "People like him deserve to be in hell, how dare he treat a lady like that… how dare he treat _my _lady like that. I personally want to send him there myself, and I can tell by looking at face that you haven't told me all of the details, which means that he probably deserves even more to go there."

He looked at me, as if he was expecting a reply, and all I could say was, "So, Clint didn't tell you?"

"_Clint knows!?"_ he yelled again, and I shrank again against the wall. I don't know why I am afraid of him, this is Steve after all, but men yelling always have this effect on me.

He let a long breath out, "I'm sorry, so sorry," he mumbled, and his face softened, "Baby… you know that I wouldn't hurt you…" he said, and his face looked like it was about to break.

I rushed over, and curled up in his arms, "I'm not mad at you at all," he whispered into my hair.

"Why?" I asked, a sob building up in my chest, but I willed myself to not cry, as hard as I could, "Everyone just judges me for being such a foolish, love-struck, teenager, they say it's my own fault and that I shouldn't have rushed in…"

He sat in silence for a little while, stroking my hair as he did so, before finally replying, "No, I don't see how this could be your fault… to lead someone on like that… just for sex… it's sickening…"he paused for another moment, "You don't think we'll last because of this do you? That's what you were going on about before…"

I glanced up at him, and luckily he didn't look that upset, just understanding, "I thought I loved him, and that he loved me. He filled so many foolish thoughts into my head about how we were meant to be, how we'd last anything… but it was all just a plan… So I gave up on those foolish thoughts, not letting myself believe in soul mates and things like that… and the thing that's scaring me is that I care for you so much more than I cared for him, so I'm worried I'll do something stupid again and then regret it when you leave… I don't believe that there is such a thing as happy ever afters."

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to," he replied, kissing me on the forehead, "If it takes waiting until the acceptable time to marry, for you to believe that I'll never leave and then for us to go into the next stage of our relationship, so be it. I don't care that much about it, of course I want it. I want you, pretty much constantly, but I agree that we should wait for a while; I don't want to rush into anything… I don't want to ruin any of my chances of being with you forever…"

"You'd marry me…?" I whispered, shivering a little in pleasure even though it was way too soon for us to be eve vaguely thinking about it.

"Tomorrow if that was allowed," he said with a little smirk, "but maybe I should take you on at least a few dates…"

"You're still going on about taking me out?" I laughed.

"Is there something wrong with that?"

"I will just feel so awkward, like I owe you one," I admitted.

"Owe me one? No, the only one of us that should owe the other is me, I owe you for making me believe that there was a good reason that I was unfrozen…"

"What reason's that?" I asked, my eyebrows knitting in confusion.

"You of course," he whispered, and he kissed me softly and deeply.

**Clint Barton:**

The last week or so has gone quite uneventfully, there has been no job for any of us to do, so we have been walking around home base, lost as to what to do, or making plans for where they will be spending their time once everything has been settled fully.

Over the years I have worked at S.H.I.E.L.D I have earned quite a lot of money, so I have quite an expensive apartment in New York that I will be staying at .

I bought it there because we have to make sure that we have a place near where the helicarrier could easily pick you up in the case of a mission.

The most interesting thing that has happened was when Izzy found out the places we could stay if we did not want to be living in the helicarrier. She blew up; going on about something she had to do for Loki… It's just like her to be caring for other people, I wish it didn't admire her for it as much as I do…

Maybe something more interesting happened this week, but because I have been avoiding Izzy I wouldn't have been there to see it. I can't be around her any more, it hurts me too much.

I normally try not to show my emotions that much, try not to feel because it's not in my job description, and one of the few times that I do feel something for someone, she will never feel the same way.

The only person that I've been talking to is Nat because I trusted her to not mention anything about Izzy if she had noticed, and this is Nat, so of course she has noticed.

But sadly, she didn't keep her mouth shut after a while.

"You're really hurting her feelings, you know." Nat stated before sitting down at the breakfast table next to me.

I just looked at her in reply. Not going to lie to myself, I hate the fact that I am hurting Izzy, especially because all I want to do is make her happy, but it hurts me too much to be around her…

"Oh I see, you don't want to talk about her," she continued, cracking her knuckles, "You just want to pretend that what happened - didn't," she looked at me with a displeased glare, "stop being so weak. It's not her fault at all that you have feelings for her. If she's willing to forget it and to continue to be friendly with you, then why don't you man up and do the same?

"She trusts you. Don't leave her now, especially because you know how difficult her life had been, especially with people she has trusted in the past."

All the information I have of her past flicked through my head. I always try to not think about it, it tears me up inside the fact that she had to go through all of that on her own. It makes me want to be there for her to make up for me not being there before… even if I didn't know her then…

"Thanks for the reminder, Nat," I grumbled before shoving my chair away from the table and stalking out to go and find Izzy so that I can make up for the last week or so of not being there for her.

There's only a certain amount of places that Izzy ever is, so I headed towards each of them.

Doctor Banner's lab: empty.

The Gym: empty.

Her room: empt- oh no, there's noises from behind the door.

"Izzy?" I called when no one answered the knock on her door.

There were more noises from behind the door, and I had to listen for a while to see whether it was just someone moving around inside, coming to answer the door.

Then I heard a muffled scream, so I grabbed the door handle and forced myself inside, nearly breaking the door off its hinges in my haste to get in.

There she was, her body laid out on the bed, soaked in water, screaming while Steve was stood over her.

"Get off of her!" I yelled, and quickly grabbed out a bow and arrow, aiming it straight at his heart, when he turned around to look at me.

He took his hands off her and put them in the air, "I'm not hurting her," he said calmly, "She's just having a nightmare."

I didn't say anything and kept the arrow pointed at the same place, until I heard her moan my name as if she is in pain, and a huge lightning bolt went through the ceiling and straight to her chest.

"Izzy!" I yelled, flinging myself at her, hoping to save her somehow from the lightning, but Steve just grabbed me by the waist and prevented me from getting to her.

Her eyes flicked open suddenly, and she laid, not moving at all, on the bed, before sitting up and silently looking at us.

Steve let go of me, and we stood next to each other, at the end of her bed, while her eyes flicked from me to him, almost as if she was trying to make a decision, and one of us is the answer.

After a long time, she suddenly burst into tears, and Steve's body flinched beside me, like he was trying to stop himself from going over to her. I don't understand why though, if he loves her, which I know he does, then why does he not try and make her happy?

"Clint, you're here," she said between sobs, but I didn't know how to reply, so I continued to just stand like I was carved into marble at the end of the room.

She blinked at me, before breaking into more hysterical sobs, and I felt Steve shove me, "For God's sake, don't be here if you're just going to torment her!" he hissed, and shoved me again.

I suppose he does care about her then, enough to allow me to try and make her happy instead of himself.

I scrambled forward a little, and knelt in front of her, warily taking one of her hands, wishing that it meant more to her than just a friendly gesture, "Izzy…" I started not knowing what to say to her, and she threw her arms around my shoulders, drenching my shirt with her soaked pyjamas, but I couldn't bring myself to care that much about it, after all she was hugging me, "I'm here now…"

"You left me alone, you wouldn't come back…" she mumbled into my shoulder, along with many other things that didn't seem logical, surely she wasn't alone, after all she had Steve…

I looked at him for answers, because if he wasn't there for her and wasn't making her happy… he'd pay…

"Nightmares." He stated, and clenched his fists at his side, causing me to smile a little. He was hating this almost as much as I have been, I'm jealous of him, he's jealous of me.

I suppose the world is fairer than it has appeared to be recently.

"That's not going to happen in real life…" I said, risking reaching up to her hair and stroking the soaked strands, letting water to drip onto my hand.

"It better not…" she whispered, before letting go, and shaking her head to herself, "I better have a shower… Watch out for the edges of the room," she said, looking towards Steve with a sad smile, and left us in the room together.

The water that hung in puddles on the floor then got soaked up by the edges of the room. I wasn't very shocked, I had suspected that her room would have been adapted to suit her powers for the worst case scenario.

"Listen," Steve started, before running his hands through his soaked hair, in fact I have just noticed that all of him is soaked, almost like a huge rain cloud had appeared in the room… well this is Izzy…

"If you hurt Izzy like this again, you're going to regret it more than anything you've ever done, understand?" he finished.

I nodded, "Same goes for you, hurt her, and you'll be added to the list of all the people I want to punish for her."

"So… you know about her ex-boyfriend?" he asked.

I was a little shocked when I he said this, not knowing that he knew anything about her horrific past, "I know everything about what happened to her."

"There's more!?" he gasped, "What else has happened!?"

"It's not my place to tell you…" I replied, and glanced towards the bathroom door, "Tell her to find me later…" I said, before picking up my dropped bow and arrow and went out of her room.

I've decided that it's only fair that she knows about everything from my past as I know everything about hers. Then she will be free to decide whether she still does want a friendship with me or not.

**Izzy Hart:**

When I was dry, dressed, and out of the bathroom, the only person that I found was Steve, and I went straight into his out stretched arms.

I know that this last week has really affected him, even if he wouldn't show it. It must be difficult to see your girlfriend upset over another guy after all.

I just hope he knows how much that I care for him.

I kissed his chest because when I was in such a tight hold it was difficult to kiss anywhere else, and he kissed me on the top of the head in return, "You know I love you, right?" I mumbled into his chest, and when he didn't reply straight away I pushed against his hold slightly so I could look up to his face.

"You love him too…" he said after a long while, and I felt like my heart was ripping apart, I couldn't believe that Steve thought I had feelings for Clint!

I pushed fully away from him, and held myself strong and confident, "As a friend, perhaps."

Steve just shrugged and put his hands in his jogging bottom pockets, "You don't have to deny your feelings."

My eye twitched a little, showing that I'm starting to become annoyed, "I'm not," I insisted, but he just sighed in reply as if he didn't fully believe me.

He started to look down at me, physically and also in a patronising manner, making me narrow my eyes and grit my teeth.

"Get out." I hissed, my hands clenching at my side and my arms starting to shake with anger, it's a good thing that I'm wearing my suit because how angry I am getting would endanger everyone on board. How dare he think that I'm not telling the truth by saying that I don't have romantic feelings for Clint.

I just can't believe that Steve is acting like this, it's not my fault that Clint has feelings for me, but I sure as hell know my own feelings, and there is none whatsoever in a romantic way. _None._

I'm allowed to be friendly with whoever I want to be, and I deserve a little trust in the relationship, especially because I trusted that he hadn't left me for Poison Ivy…

"I'm sorry?" he replied, recoiling in shock that I was kicking him out of my room.

"Get. Out." I forced each word out as if it was painful to say them, but all it was is difficult, "You may return when you fucking trust me and aren't deciding my own fucking feelings!"

He stood still, as if he hadn't listened at all to what I have said, "I think I deserve the right to be wary over the fact that my girlfriend has had nightmares ever since the night that she found out for certain another man has feelings for her and has been distant from me ever since too."

"I think I deserve the right to be upset over the fact that I was losing one of the few people I trust and am close to and is there for me!"

"I'm there for you."

He seemed annoyed, but it was nowhere near to the amount I was, I was starting to get to the point where I was going to be violent.

"Doesn't seem like it right now," I snapped back, and he flinched a little in pain.

"Maybe Clint can protect you instead then," he replied, before slamming my door behind him.

I stood for a few moments, breathing heavily and glaring at the closed door like it was its fault, before screaming as loud as I can and destroying the bathroom door with lightning.

It felt good to let some of the anger out.


	21. Chapter 21 - Missunderstandings

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Avengers or any of the characters from it, I only own my OC Izzy Hart.**

I stormed out of my room much later, still fuming at how little Steve trusts me, and went in search of somewhere that I could take my anger out on. After all, I have to spend some time in my room, so it's not a good idea to destroy it.

I found myself talking to the Director, and I vaguely explained that I needed to let some of my powers out as I was feeling emotional. I suppose it's best to talk to him about it first, I would rather not to get into more trouble than already.

He looked at me, focusing mostly on my eyes, before nodding to himself. He then told me that they have equipped the gym with things that will be suitable to… _practice _my powers on, so I headed straight to there.

I knew as soon as I got close to the gym that someone was inside, and I sighed to myself, not able to believe my luck. I took a deep breath to try and calm myself a little down so that I could talk to whoever was inside normally and ask how long they will be, when I stopped, frozen.

It was Clint.

I stood mesmerised as he stretched his bow – aiming at targets at the other side of the room, but he never shot it. Instead, his mouth tilted up into a small smile, and he said, "You're making me a bit self-conscious just staring at me like that."

I flushed a little, "Sorry, Clint, I'm in a funny mood…" I tried to explain, making excuses as to why I was staring, but the truth was that watching him shoot was really interesting to me.

"Ah I see, Steve put you in a bad mood, and then sent you to me to deal with it," he laughed darkly to himself, "How kind of him."

I felt my eyebrows knit in confusion, "Steve didn't send me to you?"

Clint lowered his bow, and looked at me for a short while in silence, "Well he said he would."

I shrugged, "Stuff happened, I'm sure he didn't mean to not tell me."

"Stuff?" he placed the bow on the floor, and started to look concerned.

"An argument."

"Ahhhhhh," Clint sighed, and he sat on one of the benches on the edge of the gym, leaning back casually, "That will explain your 'funny mood' then."

I nodded once, "Are you gonna be long in here? I need to let off some steam."

"Are you sure you don't just want to talk about it instead of destroying things?"

I glared at him, I may have been calming down slightly, but him deciding what I could and couldn't do annoyed me straight away, especially as my life felt much too controlled today.

"I'm going to let off some steam, destroying whatever the fuck I want into rubble, if you try and convince me not to do this, I'll turn _you _into rubble, understand?"

He held up his hands almost as if he was surrendering, "I'm not an idiot, I'm not going to stop you from doing what you want, I just need to talk to you s'all."

"About what?" I asked, my mind temporarily distracted from breaking things.

I'm not normally such a violent person, I promised myself, I'm allowed one day to be violent, surely?

"About my past. I've been thinking, it was really breaking into your privacy when I found so much about you, so I believe it's only fair if I tell you about my past… if you want me to that is…"

This really distracted me. The idea of finding out so much about Clint, especially as his past seems like such a mystery to most people, was intriguing. I wonder what he could be hiding, what type of person he's been, what's made him so emotionally distant…

I walked over, awkwardly sitting next to him, "Who knows about your past?" I asked, wondering just how private Clint has kept his life.

"All of it? No one. Some people know little bits and pieces, Nat knowing the most, but I've never told anyone about _all_ of it…"

I gasped a little in shock, "And you're willing to tell _me _about it?"

He looked at me, his forehead scrunching up a little, "Why are you so shocked?"

"You and Natasha… you seem so close, and, if you hadn't done so much research, you wouldn't know me hardly as much, so yes, I am shocked. Shocked that you'd trust me enough to tell me things that you haven't even told her…" I looked down at my thumbs, noticing that I am fiddling with them, "But… I don't want you to just tell me all of this just because you feel you owe me the information, I'd much rather work for it, finding a little bit by bit," I said after a while, looking up to him with a small smile.

He laughed a little to himself, looking shocked at my reply, "Well, I can't exactly make you listen to it."

"Shocked?" I smirked, loving just how shocked I did make him, when I always thought of myself as predictable.

"Of course, most people would probably take advantage of the chance to learn so much about the 'mysterious bird'," he started to laugh, "that sounded pathetic."

"Matches you perfectly then," I smirked again, and for a moment it actually looked as if he believed me, but after looking at me for a short while his eyes started to crinkle up into a huge smile.

"I've missed you," he admitted after a while, with a shy look towards me.

"I've missed you too, Clint."

"If… If you don't mind me asking," he started, and then he shook his head, "Doesn't matter."

"Just ask me, Clint, you're my friend, right?" I paused to allow him to nod, even though it was mainly a rhetorical question, "then I trust you enough to answer any question that you have."

"The… the nightmares… I never really found out anything about them just when they started. I had assumed that now that you're with Steve they would have stopped."

"More of a statement there than a question," I laughed awkwardly, "Not entirely sure what you want me to say in reply."

He thought for a little while before replying, "Why do you have them?"

"My nightmares… they're… connected to my emotions, as is everything about me it seems. They portray my greatest weaknesses, fears… even things that I didn't know that I was feeling until they were in my nightmares.

"This means that, when I have nothing to worry, fear, or be upset about, then I don't have any nightmares.

"When I met Steve, the nightmares stopped, because I felt protected in the first time in my life, I didn't feel constantly on edge, so afraid of men, so afraid of being hurt…

"I would never had talked to you, Tony, Bruce, any other men on such a close level as I do now if it wasn't for Steve. I honestly thought I wouldn't have any nightmares again after meeting him, then him and I fell out about something, and they came back.

"Found out the reason why I didn't have any nightmares was because of him, and without him there to protect me, the strength that I had felt because of my powers, etc. just disappeared, so I started to have nightmares again.

"So, it all depends on how strong or vulnerable I feel, as pathetic as that may make me."

"No one thinks you're pathetic…" he replied, but he said nothing about anything else that I had said.

"I do…" I whispered, before staring at the wall opposite thoughtfully.

**Steve Rogers:**

It's been two days since I have seen Izzy, that last time being when we argued.

I regretted everything I said as soon as I said it, I don't even _know_ why I said it, I just… I've never felt so jealous before… I am so afraid of losing her.

Next time I see her… well if I had any pride I would probably would have apologised and hoped for the best, but I know that that isn't what will happen, and a good thing too because I know that Izzy isn't the type of girl that would accept a simple apology. She's too strong and smart to just accept an apology when she's treated badly.

I need to prove to her just how sorry I am.

"Cap," someone said, bringing me out of my day dreaming.

"Is that… is that who I think it is?" It was Natasha, looking over my shoulder at a drawing that I had done of Izzy.

I quickly closed it, closing my eyes and flushing in embarrassment.

"You're so crazy about her…" Agent Romanoff murmured, half to herself, and I looked up to her.

"Kind of stating the obvious there aren't you, Ma'am?"

"It's not obvious to her," she replied, tapping her finger on her lip thoughtfully, "Show it to her."

"Are you crazy?" I spluttered, "I can't show her t_his, _it's so humiliating!"

"I can't blame you for not knowing much about women, Cap, but I'm offering you a whole load of good advice," she paused, and reached for my chin, nudging it in a friendly way, "It's romantic."

I suddenly heard a sharp intake of breath, and when I looked at the doorway I saw Izzy there, her mouth open in shocked horror.

I was about to stand up and grovel at her feet, as I might not get another chance to do so, but then I looked towards Natasha and noticed what Izzy must have been seeing - me and her… together. I turned back towards her, trying to explain what was really happening, but she was no longer there.

"Hell…" I mumbled, and stood up quickly, hoping I could catch up with her and fix this even bigger mess.

I found her, maybe an hour later, in a meeting room, and I was about to rush in when I saw that she wasn't alone.

She was held in Agent Barton's arms, her body shaking as if she was crying, and she didn't notice me in the door way, just like I didn't notice her. Hopefully nothing will happen to make this situation worse than it already has.

Agent Barton noticed me though because he was facing towards me.

"Why… why… why…" she was whispering into his shoulder.

Why, what? I thought to myself, had something other than her seeing me and Natasha happened? How did she see it?

"Why… am I… so…" she paused, finding it difficult to speak between little sobs, "so unlovable…"

Clint turned his attention away from me and back to her, and if I looked closely, there was a little smirk on his face. He really must be loving this, because it means that he can swoop in when Izzy's vulnerable and see if he can be with her instead, especially because she has been so unhappy in the relationship recently.

"Hey… That's not true…" he murmured, stroking her hair. Like I should be.

She shoved away from him, her eyes white with anger, "Of course it's fucking true," she said pushing his chest roughly, making him wince slightly.

He caught her hands, and looked at her for a while, "I love you," he finally said, and glanced towards my direction.

Anger fumed inside of me, there he was, just flaunting how much closer he can be with her now, how he can say these things to her because she values their friendship so much to let it be ruined by what he does.

She didn't notice him look in my direction, and she just sat staring at him, her eyes widening with shock, but she never said anything in reply. Didn't tell him to leave her alone, that his attention wasn't wanted… Her mouth opened as if she was about to say something, but she just closed it again shortly after.

That was when Clint gave up just waiting for her to say something, and grabbed her face, before kissed her on the lips.

Her eyes were wide with shock still, and she tried to push away, but his hands were wrapped at the back of her head – not letting her to get away.

I rushed forward, ready to rip him away from her. I never take a part in unnecessary violence, but it's safe to say that this is a time when it would be necessary.

I grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and flung him away from her, ready to shove him onto the ground.

"Bit hypocritical," he mumbled, not even phased by what's happening and sounding like he had no emotion… like always, "You can get all cosy with Nat, but I can't with Izzy."

I grabbed the front of his shirt and shoved him against the wall, his legs dangling in the air because he is a little smaller than me and was about to tell him that there definitely isn't anything between Agent Romanoff and I, but Izzy told me to put Clint down, so I did so and turned towards her, "Izzy-" I started, but she held up her hand to indicate that I shouldn't say anything.

"Steve, you have no right to be here," she started, then shook her head slightly to herself - obviously with other things on her mind, "How could you not trust me, when I trusted you so whole-heartedly?" Her voice broke at the end.

My face twitched a little, and even though I know that I should just sit and start apologising for how I treated her a few days ago, I couldn't help but reply with, "You just ran from the room and told Agent Barton a whole load of… _rubbish_ about being unlovable, you can't talk about trust."

Okay, so using "rubbish" instead of a swear word was a little pathetic, but it's too impolite for me to do it, and I think I made a strong point without the use of them anyway.

She just sat blinking at me for a moment, "Don't you understand?"

With the way she was looking at me, as if I was just breaking her heart by talking to her, I started to feel as if I am missing something important that could be used to prove that I have no valid argument.

"I understand," said a voice in the doorway, and we both turned to see that, although Agent Barton had retreated from the room, we have attracted the attention from everyone on our team.

Stark continued, "I think we all do, except you, Cap."

"At least some people do," Izzy muttered, "Natasha, I'm sorry about my reaction, I know that you wouldn't do anything, but… well…" she looked towards me, her eye frosting with white, "you can't control other people's actions."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I stepped forward, and couldn't help but notice how she flinched when my shadow loomed over her. I must have really messed up if she is starting to be scared of me again…

She looked back up to me, almost forcefully, "People can be very vengeful at times," she whispered, before speaking in a louder voice to everyone, while moving out of her chair, "now if you'll excuse me, I have to discuss something with the Director," and she left the room in silence.

"Will someone explain to me what just happened?" I asked, running my hand through my hair.

Everyone sat down at the table, so I joined them, and waited for someone to talk.

"When you got all teen-boy-angsty," Stark started, "You will have planted a lot of doubts in her head."

"Doubts?"

"Those who accuse of cheating are the most likely to be doing it themselves," Agent Romanoff put in.

I sat for a little while, that actually sounded very logical coming from someone else.

"What do you propose I do?"

"Well, she's going to need some time to cool off," Stark said, tapping his chin thoughtfully, "but not too much, because now you'll have made her draw closer to Bird-Boy, and although I like the guy, he's after _your _bird…" he turned towards Doctor Banner, "You know a lot about anger, Doc, how long should he leave her to cool off?"

He pondered the question for a little while, "I'd give it… a week."

"A week," I repeated with a nod, "Okay, that shouldn't be too hard, it's not that long…"

"A lot can happen in a week," Doctor Banner replied, and no one seemed to know how to reply to that.


End file.
